karencostellomcfeat

There’s life in the old shirt yet…

This week’s post will be shorter than usual (collective sigh of relief) as next week we are going to Oregon to meet up with all my family. I’m dreading the journey, which will be evil, but longing for our reunion. I only hope that my children and granddaughter have waterproofed themselves for the abundance of kisses coming their way. But back to the topic in hand.

Compulsively creative

Whilst playing in my craft room the other day, I realised that I am now compulsively creative. If I’m not writing, baking or making something, I’m miserable. As addictions go, this is a good one, though it is potentially rather expensive. Luckily for me, I’m drawn to those activities which maximise using what we have rather than buying new materials. Though it definitely adds extra challenges, it has the wonderful advantage of freeing your creativity. Much of what I use would normally be thrown out, so if it goes awry, there is no loss. If it goes to plan, however, I can be doubly pleased.

**A delightful design!**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

My husband always goes to work immaculately dressed and has a greater variety of shirts than Gatsby. In the same way that most of us go through socks, my husband goes through shirts. As these are very expensive, he often sources them new or almost new from charity shops.

The fabric used in making these shirts is excellent: high thread count quality cotton. Alas, though the fabric will last a long time, collars and cuffs quickly deteriorate. Which is where I come in. My sewing skills are not of the highest, so using this gorgeous fabric allows me to practice.

Starting simple

I think it was a friend who told me that the easiest way to make a cushion was with a shirt – the row of buttons at the front would provide the opening for the pad and all you have to do is sew the sides. So I made a set and when they wore out (they are now dusters), I made some more.

**Perfect for beginners** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

I have to confess, it isn’t always as straight forward. Some shirts will have darts that need to be unpicked first; the buttons need to be centred on the front and fabric has a tendency to squiggle about – even when pinned. That said, these cute little cushions cost me nothing.

A greater challenge

With cushions galore and mountains of deconstructed shirts in my craft dresser, I thought I would try something a little more challenging. Over the past years, I have made a few quilts. My friend Jane was an invaluable help at teaching me, but now it was time to try without supervision.

My shirt pieces, unlike commercial quilting quarters, were of a variety of sizes. The longest was from the back and I thought that with a number of these I could easily make a bed runner. So I dutifully cut out a quantity of strips that together would make the length I wanted and sewed them all together. Alas, my shirt sections were not quite long enough – so I needed a border too! More sewing of strips together and cutting to size.

**Quilting lesson and bed runner in one**
Image: Karen Costlello-McFeat

Finally, I had the shape and length I needed. Sandwiching my wadding between my patchwork and a piece of old sheet, I only needed some bias binding to make it neat and then I could begin on the quilting.

Part of the reason that I love quilting is that the stitching part is wonderfully simple and meditative. My craft club is usually far too exuberant to be able to concentrate on anything intricate – but sewing a quilt – perfect!

Making it unique

Quilts are gorgeous for all sorts of reasons, but what appeals to me most is the number of ways you can make them your own. Even if you choose a formal design, the fabrics you use and the colours you combine are unique to you. My design was neither formal nor especially regular, but that is what I wanted.

**Freestyle stitching!** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

And as for the over-stitching, I wanted to break up the squares and rectangles with a more organic design and this is what I went with: a sort of double helix in pastel shades of embroidery threads.

Quilting in the past was all about making use of old and outgrown clothing. I am pleased to continue in that tradition. Alas, no sooner had I finished this project than my husband asked me what I was going to do next. The options are endless: bunting, bottle bags, glass cases – indeed anything that doesn’t require a large swathe of cloth. But I don’t think I’ll tell him until he gives me a new shirt!

See you in a few weeks and enjoy the unfolding spring.

Forever is composed of Nows –

This title is taken from the beautiful poem by Emily Dickinson. Despite being a nineteenth century poet, she feels distinctly modern. Of course, there is seldom anything new under the sun and her contemporaries were as interested in the wisdom of Eastern philosophy as we are today.

Notelets with wisdom
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

The sentiment – that forever is composed of nows – is an especially eloquent and precise one. Every moment, from here to eternity is an accumulation of ‘nows’. It is a simple and essentially obvious concept, except it is one that we rarely acknowledge in our everyday lives.

And we fail to do so at our peril. Learning to live ‘in the now’ is a skill that can take months or even years to master, but master it we must to live our lives as fully and joyfully as we can.

Here is the complete poem to muse upon:

Forever – is composed of Nows –
‘Tis not a different time –
Except for Infiniteness –
And Latitude of Home –

From this – experienced Here –
Remove the Dates – to These –
Let Months dissolve in further Months –
And Years – exhale in Years –

Without Debate – or Pause –
Or Celebrated Days –
No different Our Years would be
From Anno Dominies –

An antidote to anxiety

I first took note of this approach when I had become over-whelmed with anxiety. At one point, it was so bad that I would utter ‘now’ under my breath every few seconds just to have a break from the whirling craziness of my mind. The moment I said ‘now’ was the quiet eye of the storm. A friend had given me the amazing book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and he really began my investigation into finding presence.

I’m pleased to say that my anxiety is now under control, but my habit of aligning myself with the now is ongoing. Because anxiety is based in a fear of the unknown – the future.

And there is much to be concerned about. Our darling Ukrainian, Mariia, is waiting to see how her future will be directed by the decisions of a few, powerful men. All I can say to console her is that she is safe and that we are there for her.

My own life feels like free-falling: we are selling our home, my husband is retiring and we’re moving to the Highlands. Everything is going to be new and much of it complicated and hard. By rights, I should be losing my remaining marbles, but framing it as an adventure and enjoying all the days we have left here keeps me grounded.

With a degenerative condition, the only thing that I can be certain of is that I shall get worse. Yet, if I focus on this very moment, where I can see the sun dipping below the downs; the mottled clouds of the sky and Hermione fleeing after her ball in the garden, life feels very good indeed. Focusing on now expels anxiety about the future.

Jettisoning the past

Lao Tzu said: If you are depressed you are living in the past . And the past can be a heavy burden to carry. I am an inveterate journal writer and whilst looking for ways to reduce the amount we needed to take to our future home (whenever that is!) I realised that I have dozens of journals taking up space.

**Last year’s news** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

I’m working up the courage to throw them all into the paper recycling. I’ll keep my nature journal of a year’s observations and my holiday ones – but the rest? I think they have served their purpose.

Living mindfully

The final part of Lao Tzu’s quote goes as follows: If you are at peace you are living in the present. And hard though it is to find this state, it will only occur if we eschew all other thoughts but those which concern us now.

We can achieve this in a number of different ways and we must each find our own path. Meditation, yoga, tai chi are the obvious ones, but quietly sewing, as I was the other day, is equally effective.

A more extreme way to be present is to place yourself where mere survival is all you have the capacity to think about. My wonderful friend, Sally, came to visit last weekend and having taken a dip in the sea on Saturday, persuaded me to join her on the Sunday.

**Ready to take the plunge!**
Image: Jeff Costello-McFeat

The brilliant sunshine was deceptive. It felt warn, though the air temperature was only 8 degrees centigrade. The sparkling sea looked inviting. So in we plunged and swam about until I could no longer feel my gloved hands. For five minutes, our bodies’ needs absorbed all our attention and upon leaving the water, survival made us euphoric. It was a feeling that lasted for the rest of the day. However, sea swims are not for everyone and I must give a note of caution here. Going in unprepared can be fatal. Please check you are okay to swim first and have the proper gear. I have cold showers every day, so my body is used to the shock of the cold, but even seasoned swimmers sometimes find the cold too much.

The gentle approach

For those who are perhaps rather more sane, the easiest way to get into the now is through nature. At this time of year, the world is transforming by the day. Taking even a few minutes to look, really look or listen is enough to set you on the right path. My hazel catkins were too beautiful to resist. They dangle like golden waterfalls and, set against the azure sky, are positively radiant.

**Golden tails** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

However you find your way, I hope that you can make it a natural part of your life. It requires a fair amount of training and discipline. It certainly isn’t easy. It may even seem too big an ask. But now is all we’ve got.

Beach Life

After weeks of skies that resembled cold porridge, the sun emerged on Monday, and Hermione and I headed for the beach. It was a balmy 10 degrees centigrade and the waves were perfect for surfing – coiling into one another in smooth lines before tumbling in an effervescent rush to the shore.

**Perfect day** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Carpe Diem

And I needed this. The last fortnight has been fraught with health worries. Standing on the beach in the sunshine, I thought to myself, ‘If this were my last day, what would I do/feel?’ The answer was easy – live and relish each moment.

My test results came in yesterday and all is well. MS has so many and varied symptoms that it is impossible to know if it is the condition or something more sinister. I’m grateful for my doctors for checking – and even more grateful that it is just the usual MS craziness.

But on Monday, I did not know and it focused my mind on the miraculous world around me. I took out my phone to document some of it and I’m presenting it here as a sort of photo journal.

Sea defences

Located where we are on the coast, we experience a great variation in tides. Sometimes the sea is so far out it takes an age to reach; other times it almost touches the promenade. The groynes act as an essential coastal defence and for us a very welcome shelter from the wind.

The groynes provide a perfect home for the beach life too: seaweeds such as this cling with tiny ‘feet’ to its walls.

Shell fish too use the protection of the smooth wood. The sea, twice daily, submerges them in brine and feeds them with micro-organisms. High on the groyne walls, they are free from ocean predators and the seagulls are seldom tempted by them. Prising them from the surface is far too much effort.

Limpets are rather beautiful when viewed in close-up. Barnacles are just tiny freckles of grey.

Flotsam and jetsam

With the usual junk that is brought in with the tide – I discovered and disposed of: a large square of polystyrene, a plastic cup lid and cup – there are also natural treasures to be found.

After high winds, all kinds of rainbow coloured seaweeds are washed up in Dr Seuss designs. But the day I went was still and the tide high concealing its bounty. There was, however, an abundance of whelk egg sacks, which are Hermione’s favourite toy!

These little balls are such a familiar sight, yet I had no real idea how they came to be. How does a whelk lay eggs? Well, the internet is a mine of information and if you were wondering too, here’s how:

Considering the petite proportions of a whelk, I am most impressed by the tennis ball size of its egg sack. Thanks to Lee Fishy Selby for this amazing photograph.

My last find was an almost perfect cuttlefish bone. The ‘bone’ is in fact an interior shell that aids with buoyancy. Who knew?

Contented with the length of her play, Hermione and I headed to our favourite haunt to warm up and, in Hermione’s case, receive treats and fussing. My attempts to capture the numerous, elegant seagulls mid flight failed, but here’s our cafe. And if you come to visit, I’ll take you there.

**The Beach Deck with views to the sea**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

The Art of Finding Time

As someone living with MS, I am acutely aware of the preciousness of time. The condition makes my life expectancy shorter and the time in good health – shorter still. Added to this is the fact that extreme fatigue gives me little more than twelve hours a day to enjoy in some level of wakefulness.

Mary’s grandfather clock
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

That said, I’ve worked out a way to maximise those hours and I am happy to say my life is as full and enjoyable as that of my more able-bodied peers. It has taken a lot of thinking and experimentation to reach this point, but has all been worth it. So, if you are feeling time poor or that the day doesn’t contain enough hours, or like me, your time is naturally limited, here are my suggestions to make the most of what you have.

Marie Kondo your life

Being organised a la Marie Kondo method is a wonderful way to tidy your home. More importantly, it is an excellent way to save time. We waste so much of it just looking for stuff. Having a specific place for things will save minutes and meltdowns.

**Where did I put those keys?** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

A place for everything and everything in its place is not a new concept, but nowadays we have so much, we desperately need to organise it. Using her methods for folding and storing clothes has made my life infinitely easier. I know at a glance what I have and can quickly assemble an outfit (which I do the night before). These small actions soon add up and it certainly takes the stress out of the morning.

Saving time and energy

For those of us with chronic conditions, in which fatigue features, time and energy are symbiotically entwined. For all my tasks, I need to assess the time it will take and the energy it will require. Breaking jobs into component parts allows me to do more than if I try to do it all in one go. Overdoing anything invariably results in more hours lying on the sofa staring at the sky – not very proficient.

This applies to everything I do (boring, right?) For example, my OMS lifestyle includes healthy eating and more time preparing and cooking food. Whereas in the past, I would wander around the kitchen and back and forth to the fridge, I am now more like TV chefs – laying everything out before I begin. Rice is put in water to soak; soups and stews boiled and then left off the heat to cook themselves; meals are planned hours in advance and assembled in their component parts.

And this method works equally well for all of us. It opens up time to set the table, take the kids to their clubs or catch up on emails. But unlike multi-tasking, we do tasks sequentially and remove the fluster of spinning too many plates at once.

Extreme efficiency

These rules apply outside the home too. Twenty minutes driving is about my limit, so trips need to be ultra efficient. Planning to do things en-route is the obvious solution. Taking the dog to the park, collecting a friend and going to the post office can easily be combined – saving both time and fuel.

Shopping with a list and ensuring that essentials are always in the cupboard prevents numerous trips to the supermarket for missed items. If you don’t have an obscure ingredient, find an alternative. In the time it would take to go and buy it, you could have made the dish.

**Tick tock** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Our world is full of labour-saving devices and I’m all for taking advantage of them. However, they are also costly. It is worth taking a moment to calculate how much work is required to pay for them and not only the time they save. Ready meals look great but are expensive. What they save in time will cost you earning time to pay for. Tumble driers only need to be stuffed with wet clothing rather than hanging them outside or near the radiator. Unfortunately, they also destroy the fabric of you clothing, requiring you to buy more. Unless money is not an issue, such calculations are worth making.

Time wasters

I think we all know what they are: mobile phones, televisions, Instagram and the internet. We all use them and enjoy them, however, it is too easy to take that pleasure and fritter away our precious hours. In the UK in 2024, people spent between 3-5 hours on their smartphones and of course, more still on television/streaming services. Checking settings for your screen time each week is probably a good idea. Most of us severely underestimate. By establishing what is a reasonable time for your lifestyle, you will free up hours for either more personal communications or to explore your interests.

**Time is in your hands** Image: Bianca Castillo on Unsplash

The internet is set up with one intention only: to get you online and to keep you there. The longer you scroll, the more information they have access to and the more they can pinpoint their advertising. By making you dissatisfied with your own life, they can offer ways to make it better – ways that cost you time and money.

Early to bed

‘Early to bed and early to rise’ promises to make us ‘healthy, wealthy and wise.’ Though not always true (ask any farmer) it certainly gives us the best of the day.

Recently, I read about the Five O’clock Club. If I remember correctly, you rise at five and spend 2o minutes exercising, 20 minutes meditating/journaling and 20 minutes reading improving works. Sounds brilliant, but leveraging me out of bed before 9am is virtually impossible (though I do go to bed early).

**The glorious dawn** Image: Simon Wilkes on Unsplash

Getting up as early as you can is a great habit to develop. The benefits are innumerable. Our bodies are designed to correspond to natural light and the more we align ourselves with the rhythms of the day, the better we feel. I doubt that I’ll even get by on less than twelve hours’ sleep a day, but I’m working on it.

Speaking of time, I think that I have taken up enough of yours. I hope that you find some of these suggestions useful or have others to recommend. We all could do with a few more minutes in each day – if only for a nap.

Feed the Birds

This time of year is tough for everyone, but especially for the birds. Nearly all the berries and seeds have been consumed and insects are still underground or waiting for the warmer weather to reappear. Resources are at their scarcest, not in deep winter, but as we move into spring.

And it is time to mate and raise a family.

Though my garden is designed to be as wildlife friendly as possible (read a little unkempt!) I do try to add something tasty during this period. Unfortunately, I’m not so sure about birdfeeders. I struggle to keep them clean and free from cross-contamination. For a while there, I thought I’d found the perfect solution in the eco-friendly coconut shell filled with fat and seeds. They are great, though they are not cheap when the birds (and squirrels) happily much through one a day. So I needed to think of an alternative.

DIY bird feeders

A long time ago, I remember reading about making fat/seed feeders out of yogurt cartons. Since I don’t have any individual sized yogurt pots (though they would work perfectly here), I decided on using what I had: muffin cases and tins.

So this morning, I decided to give it a go. This method will provide six fat muffin-sized feeders and takes mere moments to make. Here’s how:

Ingredients

250g of lard (available at larger supermarkets)

200g of wild bird seed

Containers

Garden twine

Preparation

To make each one ready to hang on the tree, I cut a piece of twine (about 30cm), folded it in half and poked both ends through the back of the case. A large darning needle is perfect for this. On the inside of the case, tie the threads together and leave a loop of twine at the back – something like this:

If using paper cases, I’d recommend putting them in a tin after this stage, as a little leakage is inevitable.

Now for the filling.

Put your lard into a heavy bottomed pan and warm on a very low heat until all the lard is dissolved and clear in colour.

**Slowly getting there**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Remove your pan from the heat and add seeds (and any other bird/squirrel treats you like) and stir to combine.

**Super nutritious if not delicious**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

As the lard is very liquid, it will pour out much faster than the seed mix, so I’d advise pouring an equal quantity of the lard first and let the seeds follow. Possibly allow the lard to cool and harden slightly before transferring it to the cases. I might try that next time.

**Looking tasty!** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Now all you have to do is wait for the lard to harden and return to a creamy white colour. You may have to put it in the fridge if your house is especially warm.

And that’s it! When firm enough to handle, simply tip the case out of the tin; head to the garden and attach to a tree branch. They add a little colour to the bleak brown.

**A bird cupcake** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

With a method this simple, I will happily make these on a weekly basis until April when the garden is bountiful. And, at around 10p per cupcake, we can all afford to feed the birds.

The Consolation of Trees

One day, when it was especially dreich and the mizzling rain seemed unable to rouse itself to a full downpour or cease altogether, I was playing with Hermione in the garden and took shelter under the trees.

They were surprisingly efficient at keeping me (almost) dry and warm; protecting me from the indeterminate rain and very determined wind. And so I stood – tossing the ball and watching Hermione rush about and thought about trees.

**My tree shelter** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Few things in the world can compete with them. They bring joy, shelter and nourishment in an abundance of forms and yet, they are seldom valued for their contribution any more than water – until they are scarce.

So this post is all about trees and how they console and uplift us.

Tree therapy

If you are ever feeling down, I suggest that you find a tree (a cluster if possible) and stand beneath it. You don’t need to go into full forest bathing mode or further than your garden – a large single tree will do. Because the very structure of trees with their overarching branches, solidity and quietness stills the busy mind and we feel embraced by a loving nature.

The science will tell you that it is because trees release phytoncides that boost mood, but I think it is more than that. No doubt, we started out as tree dwelling creatures and since we have always used wood in the making of our homes, trees are inextricably linked to our sense of safety.

**Smell those pines!**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Tree houses

Whilst trees can make us feel at home; they are, of course, a permanent residence to any number of creatures. Study the trunk of a tree and you might be surprised how much activity is taking place on, and under, that unmoving bark. Lichens expand like spilled paint; fungi enliven dying wood; ivy and tree roses entwine themselves. Birds evade the sparrow hawk among its branches and unknown numbers of insects live their secluded lives in cracks and crevices. A tree is a living metropolis.

At the puppy park, I often indulge in some tree companionship when other people are absent. Observing trees is a wonderful way to distract oneself from numb fingers and the tedium of endlessly tossing a ball. This afternoon’s study proved especially fruitful. Drawn to the large holly tree by the trilling carols emanating from its midst, I waited for my eyes to focus and establish where the sound was coming from. By far the noisiest contributors were a flock of tiny coal tits who could only be spotted when they moved from one branch to another.

What else was there, I wondered? Well, quite a lot. While waiting patiently, I came upon a very plump pigeon, some beautiful goldfinches and a friendly robin who came to sing me his little tune. A tiny squirrel soon showed off his aerobatic tricks, flinging himself from a neighbouring tree onto this one.

The tree’s gifts were not merely visual. The wind’s soft soughing was soothingly soporific and the damp scent of the undergrowth redolent of childhood.

In such circumstances, it would be difficult to be anything but serene.

No matter the season

**My old apple tree in winter**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

And trees offer up so much, regardless of the time of year. Even in the midst of winter, when they are as bare and pale and seemingly devoid of interest as a wet January afternoon, they are worth our attention. Leafless, we see their stark beauty and raw power. Few things are more photogenic than the silhouette of a tree at dusk or sunset.

Though they weather the most inclement of conditions, they seldom die. Instead, they stand as a model of resilience that we would all do well to emulate. Further, they contain a message of hope. ‘I may not be in leaf now,’ they seem to say, ‘but look how intricate and strong I am. Be patient, find your own strength and spring will soon be here.’

Nature’s calendar

Whilst I rely on my diary and calendar for daily tasks, it is to the trees that I look for news of the coming season. In winter, I search for the first buds to unfurl; in spring the bright green to dull to khaki as warmer days take hold. Autumn, obviously, speaks for itself.

And what better way to illustrate the seasons than through painting trees? Below are four postcards of famous artists’ impressions and who is to say which manifestation is more beautiful?

My own art work has focused on trees recently and heightened my observation and appreciation of these magnificent ‘vegetable beings’ . (William Boyd)

A hymn to trees

So let today be a hymn to trees, for gratitude moves us to mindfulness, which moves us to peace. Our search for consolation is only steps away from our door and given freely. We should remember to thank the trees, and if you feel the urge – give one a hug.

Share your skills

Yesterday, my delightful niece came for lunch and a lesson on how to make bread. I’d mentioned that I often made my own and offered to show her how. She was keen to accept. So between remote working (her) and dog walking (me), we set about making bread together.

My own experience of learning the art of bread making was rather more drawn out and frustrating. I’d follow one recipe after another to get okay results. Only after months (years?) of trial an error, I discovered that a second rise is not optional but mandatory and exactly what the dough should feel like when it is perfect. Answer: your earlobe! I picked up scraps of information here and there and eventually figured it out.

**Well, we had to try it!**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

In the past, such endeavours would have been entirely unnecessary. My mother or grandmother would have shown me how or I would have learned from observation. But breadmaking, like so many lost skills, is something we often have to learn by ourselves. How much better to teach others what we know.

Restoring lost skills

So many skills that the older generation took for granted were lost when ready- made goods became more affordable. And no, I am not romanticising the often laborious tasks so many had to face. Knitting, sewing and darning every evening to make sure your family was well clothed is not what I’m talking about.

However, rising costs and a desire for more individual or better quality goods has made many younger folk turn to the skills performed by their forebears. And not just the young. My age group has shown a marked interest in the practical crafts, but what we lack are those to show us how.

**I’ve crocheted my squares but don’t know how to join or edge them neatly!**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

My crocheted squares have languished in the basket for months, because I don’t know how to join them (except in the most basic way, which I don’t like) or to do a pretty edging. I’m stuck. Books are great, but they’re not the same as a hand to guide you.

Using the business model

Sharing skills or knowledge sharing, as it is know in the business world, has long been acknowledged as a vital component in a successful enterprise. After all, if one person knows how to do something and shows another, efficiency, confidence and productivity improve.

And yet, in the domestic sphere, we seem less willing to embrace this concept. Young people (and older!) go out into the world not knowing how to mend a shirt or tyre or make a healthy meal. When we neglect to pass on these vital abilities, we doom them to the cost of constantly replacing clothing, paying for expensive help and eating poorly.

My husband is a whizz at DIY and throughout their childhoods, the kids were encouraged to help lay floors, decorate etc. Their skills are now well beyond our own, but I hope that early introduction gave them the confidence to try.

My eldest has just built an exquisite home office in the grounds of his house. It is so cute, I’d quite like to move in myself.

**A cabin in the garden ‘woods’.** Image: Genevieve Costello-Spears

On-line learning

For many of us, the Internet is the place we turn to for advice. My husband has fixed my car using it and I have tackled many a craft project under its expert tuition. Indeed, there is almost nothing that can’t be learned via YouTube. But it is not quite the same as having a person to guide you.

**One way of doing it** Image: Lauren Mancke on Unsplash

And we all have skills. Probably many more than we realise. Sharing these is an opportunity to build relationships as well as passing on expertise. There are few things more delightful than giving someone the gift of knowledge and the empowerment that brings.

So don’t keep your skills to yourself. Share them. We can all do with a little help sometimes.

Collage to Calm the Mind

After yet another week of sad news, I really needed to do something to cheer myself up. Lack of sleep and general low mood meant that my brain was sluggish and my enthusiasm for new projects rather low.

**The seed of a blog** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Craft group morning arrived, and I needed something to do – something that the most weary soul could master and still hold some sort of conversation. Having shown my husband at the weekend how to use magazine pages to make a mood board, I thought that I could manage something like that too.

An artist’s solution

Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way recommends doing collages regularly to focus one’s intention. It works both as a meditation and as an unedited (by the thinking brain) route to work out what you really want in life.

We have no shortage of magazines, so Monday morning I simply pulled images that I loved from their pages, sometimes cutting neatly and sometimes not so much.

**Plenty to choose from** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Simply looking at these attractive images was enough to lift my spirits, and I was able to host and chat happily too. By the time my guests had left, I had a great heap of pictures waiting to be put to good use.

I had numerous gorgeous nature pictures from Country Living magazine, but the ones which really enthralled me were from my art magazine Uppercase.

Time to get to work

After a nap, I set about putting the cuttings into subject-based files: nature scenes, homes, vintage and art ideas. Then, and this was the really brilliant part, I just had to start trimming and sticking.

The most wonderful thing about collage is that it requires so few materials: scissors, glue, paper and a little space. Most art projects require heaps of room. As a case in point, I’ve rashly started making a quilted bed runner, and my craft table is strewn with strips of fabric and thread.

This kind of collage is not meant to be a work of art, but rather a work of play. You stick things in, not according to any particular rules, but simply what is pleasing to your eye.

**A joyful riot of colour**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Certain colours and shapes will appeal to you – others not so much. All that matters is that you enjoy the process and hopefully have something fun to show for it.

Revived

All this cutting and sticking certainly reactivated my creative brain – as it is meant to do. Staring at delightful pictures cannot help but lift your mood (just as staring at frightening or depressing ones will do the opposite). And, most importantly, these are illustrations that you have chosen rather than some sinister algorithm. These images inspire rather than invoke cravings.

So, having done my collage, I thought about how I might store the voluminous quantity of extra cutouts! Some I will use again for a collage, others I’d like to use in my journal projects.

My Uppercase magazine had an especially delightful cover made of good quality paper. It would, I convinced myself, make an excellent file.

**Uppercase upcycled** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Having created a binding with washi tape, I set about adding a few collage touches to give it less of a commercial look – adding a title from within the magazine, birds and ephemera to obscure the bar codes.

Inside, I used an old calendar sheet to make a pretty pocket for my stash. I think it worked out quite well, and the delicate pages I collected are now safely enclosed.

**A handy folder** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

And did the process work to calm my mind? Absolutely! While focussed on simple tasks that were unlikely to frustrate or torment me, I was able to let go (for a while at least) of my worries.

It was also pleasingly productive. I intend to make more little folders for other ephemera, as they are too delicate to shelve without protection.

Most importantly, the activity reminded me of what is important in my life and what I need to pursue with more focus and effort. I love art and I love creating (ideally in nature!) At my age, I am certainly not aiming to be the next Turner prize winner – but art brings me joy and often the bonus of practical objects made by hand.

So if you are wondering what to do next or even in your free time – I highly recommend this exercise. If nothing else, it will give you a chance to unwind and enjoy the playfulness we all enjoyed in primary school!

Wintering

A few months back, my darling niece sent me a book she thought I would enjoy. It was entitled ‘Wintering’ and subtitled: ‘The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times’. This memoir/musings by Katherine May was a moving investigation into the idea of using our personal ‘winters’ to strengthen, repair and heal ourselves. As in nature, winter is not so much a dead time, but an opportunity to gather strength for the future.

What I love about winter (the season) is that it offers up clues of awakening right from the moment when the earth seems the most dormant. Buds appear on the trees – dark and hard, perhaps, but buds nonetheless.

**Waiting for their moment** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Spring bulbs begin pushing up their green leaves in late November – slender flags that promise the riot of colour to come.

Rest

While the earth may seem at rest, it is actually very busy. Trees are using their roots to sustain the trunk through harsh weather and also gathering as many nutrients as they can for the leafing/flowering season. Bulbs are using the cold temperatures to ready themselves for spring. Gardening Knowhow explains: ‘The cold temperatures cause the bulb to break glucose into smaller molecules which lowers the freeze temperature to prevent damage to the bulb. Additionally, small leaf structures and the beginning cells for flower production begin to form.’ Protection and preparation go hand in hand.

**My beautiful amaryllis bulb that I’m hoping will bloom once more.** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Insects, worms and bugs all respond to winter months in different ways. Some, like the Monarch butterfly, will fly south to warmer climes (as do so many migrating birds); some survive by deploying their own anti-freeze in their bodies; some move into homes which are warm or lay eggs or larva to wait till spring. (Source: Backyard Farmer) Many do this after ‘cleaning up’ the leaf matter and refuse from autumn by bringing it down into the soil where it enriches it. Everything is readying itself for a new start.

Retreat

And people too need a time to retreat from the manic activity of the ‘warmer months’ and to reflect on their priorities and goals. If we fail to do this, we simply stumble from one year to the next.

Unfortunately, most of us don’t perform this vital task until life takes the choice from our hands. Often it is a consequence of illness, bereavement, job loss or significant change which forces us (as it did the author Katherine May) to take a moment to be still and evaluate our lives.

**Now that is the kind of retreat I could enjoy!** Image: Jared Rice on Unsplash

It is not always a pleasant experience. In my case, a diagnosis of MS followed rapidly by breast cancer was a clear call from my body to take a rest. Living in the way I did was no longer an option and I would have to find another path forward. As someone of Tiggerish disposition, this was a bitter challenge. What? Sit still and let the world pass me by? Surely, I could push through the fatigue, the weakness, the anxiety and keep going. After all, one can’t do nothing!

In my usual practical way, I set about restoring my health with the cheerful delusion that I might somehow will myself into wellness. I embraced a challenging diet, learned to meditate, read copious books, studied languages, and exerted myself to my physical limits. As a consequence, busy days were followed by days of absolute lethargy, as my weary body tried to regroup. Hours were spent in bed or staring out the window in a kind of stupor. And I felt guilty, because lying down during daylight is lazy, isn’t it?

Well, no, not if you are ill.

And eventually, I came to terms with the fact that I was ill. With a degenerative disease and no cure in sight, ‘winter’ was something to which I would have to acclimatise.

Perpetual winter

There are still times when I resent this situation, but gradually, I am beginning to see the advantages.

My Herculean efforts to get well have not resulted in a miraculous recovery, but have meant that I have not got worse. I can still live independently, write, visit friends and do many things I love. They are just different things from before.

All the hours spent delving into my messy mind have helped to clarify my thinking, making me more understanding of others and compassionate to myself.

My world has shrunk significantly but ironically it feels more expansive. Spending time quietly observing, likes Donne’s lovers, ‘makes one little room an everywhere.’ My home, my garden, my local haunts hold any number of wonders – nature especially so, as its beauty shifts throughout the day and season.

**Late winter afternoon at Crowlink** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

I left off writing this post to take the dog to the puppy park. It was cold and damp and the cloud lowered threateningly. It was the archetypal English winter day. For most of us, that would be miserable. Not so long ago, I would have concurred. Yet, I thoroughly enjoyed our amble.

The air was fresh and birdsong filled it. There was time to watch the sweep of the birds’ wings in the air; to smile at the kids on the swings next door; to smell that peculiar late afternoon earthy smell that always reminds me of the last moments of play before home-time as a child.

Hermione was sniffing her way around the perimeter and enjoying her outing. All was peaceful.

**Park in winter** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

I had been struggling to know how to end this – to be neither dishonest nor vapidly optimistic. Do I wish that my wintering was a temporary affair and that my new found wisdom could be carried forward into a new life? Of course I do and I envy those who have recovered to do just that. But for me, winter is here to stay. There are times when it is bleak, but I also love its stark, raw honesty. And there is so much more to learn.

Embracing the season

For a very long time, I seriously disliked winter. I saw it as a boring interlude between fiery autumn and delicate spring. January especially seemed to drag for an eternity. But now, I adore winter, as I love all the seasons, for the very special gifts that it brings. Join me and let me show you why.

The weather outside is frightful

We Brits enjoy nothing more than discussing the weather, and the winter months certainly give us plenty to talk about. These last few weeks, we’ve seen strong winds, days of fog, rain, sunshine and hereabouts, snow.

With an energetic cocker spaniel to exercise, not going out is hardly an option (though Hermione draws the line at heavy rain). So away we go, regardless of the conditions. Even if the weather is not ‘nice’ it is has its music too (to misquote Keats).

For days, we had such heavy fog that it was as if the clouds had dropped from the sky to earth. Sound was muffled and visibility poor (see above left). It was a little eerie, but also magical – this still, soft world that looked as if it were covered with tracing paper. Today (above right) the sky was rinsed blue and the light piercingly bright. Each branch and twig was gilded with sunlight and the air icy fresh.

‘There is no such thing as bad weather…

only unsuitable clothing ,’ (Alfred Wainwright, Coast to Coast ) is as true now as when it was written fifty+ years ago. Only now, we have the advantage of high-tech fabrics to protect us from the most severe weather.

Investing in a proper rain jacket (or even better a Dryrobe) means that no weather will defeat your plans. And I love nothing better than being snuggled up in a warm coat with gloves and a scarf and feeling the cold on my face. Few things will wake you up more effectively than a blast of freezing air: it is completely invigorating.

**Keeping toasty** Image: Jeff Costello-McFeat

On our recent trip to the Highlands, the thermometer rarely rose above five degrees centigrade and the weather was, quite frankly, awful, but it barely dented our spirits, as we were kitted out to cope. Even the stinging rain and strong winds that assaulted us as we walked along Nairn beach was stimulating rather than miserable. Our faces were scrubbed clean and rosy by the time we got back into the dry of the cafe. And a hot chocolate never tasted so good or felt so welcome.

Contrast is what makes life interesting

Winter is a time of deep contrast. We leave our centrally heated homes into the chilly air outside; we combat the short dark days by filling our rooms with fairy lights and candles; we take a rest from the hectic pace of spring and summer. As with light and dark, we cannot appreciate one without the other. Artists love winter, because deep structures are exposed and the light (when we are graced with it) is especially sharp.

With the sun low, and setting so early, we are also able to witness the most glorious sunsets.

That which does not kill us

Facing adversity – even in as basic a way as facing the elements when they are not favourable – is an important way to build resilience. Wim Hof has made millions (deservedly) through showing people how to learn mental strength through physical challenge – including the cold.

Taking the time to take a walk outside (appropriately dressed) is the easiest and most enjoyable way of boosting one’s mood. Add a friend and a coffee date afterwards and it is positively perfect. With the January blues affecting so many of us this month, it is a prescription I would recommend.

Acceptance

The most radical change that has occurred in me is the simple acceptance of the weather – whatever form it takes. If you are struggling with the idea of living in the moment, perhaps start here. We cannot do a single thing to change or improve it. If it is miserable, it will pass. If it is fine, that will pass also.

We can complain or be grumpy or we can embrace it. Through searching for the beauty (and you may have to work hard at that in the beginning) it helps us see beauty in other things too.

Winter is an essential phase in the cycle of the year and we may find that winter, in the metaphorical sense, is an essential part of our lives too. But to avoid stretching your patience too much, I shall consider that next week.