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Second Hand Rose – Household and Crafts

Life is wonderfully ironic, is it not? Now that I am finally able to indulge my desires in buying what I like, I am reminded that though I could afford it, the planet cannot. Unfettered consumerism is stripping the Earth of its precious resources, poisoning its air and rivers and filling its land with junk.

Working to heal the Earth is a complicated affair. It is impossible to do everything, but if we can do something, we are making a start. And when it comes to consumer goods, there is an easy solution that is also good for our finances: to buy second-hand goods and reuse them.

Yes, I know – who wants to buy smelly clothes from the charity shop? Who wants to be a ‘second hand rose’? But bear with me. Firstly, charity shops are not the jumble sales of my youth. Some are positively designer. And the taboo on buying something used/old needs to be replaced with a more enlightened view.

Our status should not be based on the number of good things we have, but rather the number of good things we do. If everyone, from the richest to poorest, takes pride in reusing and upcycling, those on more limited incomes need not feel left out.

**A second hand rose bowl** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Unlike my husband, who is a charity shop aficionado, I am fairly new to this form of purchasing. Yet, when I decided that I wanted a crystal rose bowl to display my garden blooms, I knew a charity shop would be just the place. I set my husband the task of finding one (as he is constantly out and about) and a few months later, he returned with this beauty. It cost £5.

Shopping in this way is the exact opposite of the Amazon method. It may take days, weeks or even months to find what you are looking for, but for me that is part of the charm. Hunting down the thing you want is part of the pleasure and finding it a joy far greater than the buzz you get from clicking an icon.

Use your friends

When I decided that a glass topped table would provide the perfect, practical ‘frame’ for the dozens of pressed flowers I’ve made, I considered it best to enlist help. Solid wood tables with glass inserts not being the most common item. I threw the challenge out to my craft group and that afternoon, Penny came by with the perfect specimen.

**My new-to-me table** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

This table was rather too lovely for me to use for my project, so I’ll use another instead. But now my wicker work chair has a companion.

The sustainable home

While I was at the charity furniture warehouse, I also found a perfect magazine rack/ table that complemented the ones my mother had kindly bought us. Now there is no excuse for magazines to take up so much of the counter space and I’ll know where to find my glasses.

**Danish design at charity shop prices** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Purchasing pre-loved furniture is always a bargain. It is not simply the lower price tag that ensures this. Traditionally made products in solid, natural materials last much longer that the thinly veneered modern equivalent. Mariia sleeps on Great Granny Mullen’s mahogany bed and one hundred years on it is just as lovely.

Solid woods are also easily repairable. Stains and marks can often be sanded down and re-varnished or you can leave it as a naturally ‘distressed’ piece.

Make it your own

As such furniture is inexpensive, we can be much more bold in how we play with it. My decoupage table in the shed was an experiment that worked. If it failed, I would only have been £6.99 the poorer.

We gave my niece my son’s old pine chest of drawers for her spare room and she sanded it down and painted it a gorgeous pink.

For me, this is the greatest appeal of the second hand – it positively invites creativity. These items have done a life-time of service and been disposed of. We have the opportunity of giving them a second and perhaps more exciting sequel.

When I spotted this gorgeous 1934 edition, I could not resist the nostalgic cover. The stories are hilariously outdated and the pages musty and spotted with age. However, with a little care, it can be brought back as a quirky container or journal. (There are too many options and I haven’t decided yet, but I will include the precious prize label to keep its special history.) Because even as an object loses its value as one thing, it can be transformed into another.

Home economics

Wandering about the warehouse, I was astounded by the sheer variety and quality of the goods on offer. They had everything from lamps to sofas, cutlery to beds. An entire house could be equipped from this one store and cost less than £1000 or the price of a decent new dining room table.

And better still, since the objects were donated, all the profits go to charity. The planet benefits, the cause benefits and most certainly, you do too.

Next week, I’ll explore alternatives to fast fashion. I hope you’ll join me then.

Oh! I do like to live beside the seaside!

When I was thirteen, my family moved to Eastbourne. I felt like Charlie Bucket unwrapping his chocolate bar to reveal the golden ticket. Could it be true that I was actually coming to live in a resort that I had once visited on holiday? My life would be a permanent vacation!

Eastbourne on a perfect day Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Of course, it was not exactly that, but it was an amazing place to grow up. My friend and I would venture into the sea and exalt at being tumbled by the freezing waves; I would go on romantic walks along the proms lit by pearl necklaces of light; and weekends often involved hikes high on the cliffs and facing down the unrelenting wind.

I grew up, moved away and across the world, but when it came to having my own children, like the salmon, I swam back here. If I could raise my children in a place with acres of wilderness and the sea minutes away, what more could they ask for?

Sea bathing

Though sea bathing, as a health cure, began as early as the 17th century, it wasn’t until the late 18th that things really took off. And when the railways arrived, a trip to the seaside was available and affordable to almost everyone. There is a lovely article about the Victorians and the seaside here, which you might enjoy: https://www.ironbridge.org.uk/learn/museum-collections/stories-from-the-collections/victorian-seaside/

But I digress.

One of the great joys of living so close to the sea is that, on a fine day, I can be there in minutes. If my husband is home, the weather fine and the sea moderately calm, we might attempt a swim. (I should add that my husband swims and surfs in all weathers. I, however, am a little more delicate!) Perfect conditions collided on Tuesday and my first swim of the year achieved.

Not quite as elegant, but I think my costume was more practical (I did take my shorts off!)

Swimming for health

It is rather curious, is it not, how circular history is? Sea swimming was promoted for health centuries ago, then it became a recreation and now, once again, is being seen for its significant healing properties thanks to Wim Hof et al. Since I have written about the benefits of sea/wild swimming, I shan’t go into detail again, but be assured that a dip in chilly and potentially dangerous waters creates resilience in a way that few other experiences can.

Health aside, it is simply exhilarating. One is challenged by the temperature of the sea (cold to freezing), the power of the tides and the unpredictable assault of the waves. It is relatively safe, yet we get all the thrill of the extreme athlete!

There are those who enjoy sea swimming all year round, but I am not (not yet at least) on of them.

A place for all seasons

But the coast offers its treasures no matter what the time of year. Those of us who live here often confess to enjoying the sea most during the winter months. The sea becomes a grey behemoth spitting and snarling at the water’s edge. And when it gets really angry, great sponges of seafoam and pebbles are tossed onto the mainland.

The flora of the coast is more subtle and sparse than that on more fertile ground, but even the chalkland can put on an eye-catching display. There are cowslips and wild thyme and even orchids to be found. On the pebbles, I’ve spotted wild geraniums, sea kale and even poppies.

Within the rockpools are whole worlds of creatures and on land rare butterflies and beetles. The coast does not give up its secrets easily, but give it a little attention and you will be surprised and delighted with what you find.

A natural anti-depressant

At a time when anxiety and depression is spiralling out of control, I really wish that doctors would prescribe fewer drugs and more trips to the seaside. If ever I am feeling troubled, a walk by the sea is all I need. The wind scrubs my cheeks; whips my hair into knots and cleanses my lungs with bracing, briny air. If it rains, no matter; it is just more water. There isn’t room for any thought but getting through the elements. And against the backdrop of such magnificence, our petty worries seem small indeed.

**Sea of tranquillity** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

And perhaps this is the greatest gift that the coast can give. It’s very magnitude and power leave us gasping in awe. If we still our thoughts and concentrate on what is before us, we grasp, briefly, a sense of communion with the universe. It is both humbling and uplifting.

Though writing about a rural landscape, I think that Wordsworth’s words fit equally well in describing the effect of the sea upon the viewer.

Of aspect more sublime; that blessed mood,
In which the burden of the mystery
In which the heavy and weary weight
Of all this unintelligible world,
Is lightened (37-41).

From :’Lines Composed a Few Miles above Tintern Abbey’:

If only for a moment, ‘the heavy and weary weight’ is lifted and such a release is sometimes all we need to bring us back into balance.

We are blessed to live on an island where the coast is never more than 70 miles away. Our coastline is, with few exceptions, all public and accessible. A short trip is all we need to make to refresh our bodies and our minds. And this weekend? I think you know where I’m heading.

It Started With a Kiss

A few months ago, we visited the Towner cinema for a documentary film about Gustav Klimt. It was fascinating and reawakened my long held desire to visit Vienna.

When my son caused us to cancel our longed for trip to Oregon due to his military obligations, we decided to console ourselves with a special holiday. And where better to go than Austria?

Location, location, location

With the money already saved, my husband decided to splurge on lovely accommodation in a central location. It was more than worth the extra expense. Our hotel was situated at the heart of the old town next to St Stephensplaz – the site of Vienna’s grand Gothic cathedral.

With little or no travelling required, we were free to explore at our leisure or to simply venture out to the square and watch the world pass by.

Around the corner was St Stephen’s cathedral – a Gothic fantasy of gilt, tile and ornamental stonework.

We took numerous tours of the exterior finding glorious details each time. The interior (above top) was simply too much to take in no matter how often you visited.

The square, like much of Vienna’s centre, was pedestrianised and filled with cafes spilling tables onto the pavements. Full, but not overly so, the atmosphere was buzzing with life. As an extremely safe and law abiding country, the crowds posed no cause for concern, and the buildings, both old and new were their own works of art.

Art for all tastes

But we went to Vienna to enjoy its incredible and extensive art collections. We lost count of the number of galleries and museums on offer and decided to focus on the ones that we considered unmissable.

Like most tourists, we wanted to see The Kiss in situ, since no replica in print or digital form can do it justice. It is located at The Belvedere – the old emperor’s summer palace. The palace itself is awe inspiring – filled, a little gaudily for my taste, with painted ceilings and endless embellishments.

**The chapel** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

The Upper Belvedere (there is also a lower Belvedere and gardens) is where the fin de siecle and early 20th century paintings reside. The collection includes Klimt, Monet and Van Gogh plus many other superb, lesser know artists. We feasted our eyes on masters until our senses could take no more.

Venturing back out into the rain, we had a long walk home (for Jeff did,as I was in the wheelchair).

The spectacular parks and buildings kept our minds from our rain drenched clothing. We were also in search of the Secessionist Building – a stunning art nouveau museum that houses Klimt’s Beethoven Frieze. We almost missed it. This gallery is now marooned next to a busy ring road. Were it not for the exquisite dome composed of golden leaves, we would have passed it by.

The Secessionists were an open movement who welcomed all those who were at the forefront of modern art. An unexpected connection was between them and the Arts and Crafts Movement in England. Each believed that art should serve function as well as form. Ideas and styles intertwine the two.

The big MAC

This was most evident at the MAC museum, which celebrates the applied arts. On the second floor is the most magnificent frieze by Margaret MacDonald Mackintosh (wife of Charles Rennie) next to a study for an enormous one by Klimt. Side by side, you can see the Art Nouveau swirls and spirals and the stunning blocks of colour that each share but have made their own. I could also see Aubrey Beardsley in Klimt’s work and the Pre-Raphaelite influence in Mackintosh’s faces. As in all things, the cross-fertilisation of creative seeds produces the most sumptuous fruits.

**Part of the Klimt preparatory frieze** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

From the sublime to …

the ridiculous would be unkind. But how should one categorise the work of the exuberant, rule bending artist that is Hundertwasser?

**Colour and craziness** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Like Mackintosh and Klimt, this eccentric creative was concerned with art in all its forms, though he is most famous for his architecture. An early environmentalist, his buildings celebrate the inclusion of the natural world in tandem with the manmade. His famous social housing project, Hundertwasserhaus, was designed to show that social housing can be both beautiful and organic. The roofs were covered in soil and trees were planted. Plants protrude from balconies and the walls painted in rainbow hues. It is now a major tourist attraction.

We chose to visit the Kunst Haus (art house) that contained his collection of

**Kunst Haus** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

art and architectural designs. The building itself is a manifestation of both his credo and creativity. Considering straight lines an anathema, he ensured all the walls curved subtly. So too the floors – which required some attention.

My favourite parts were the disabled loo (yes, seriously cool) and the outside cafe where I could have happily whiled away many hours.

**The delightful, whimsical courtyard** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Vienna has always been known for its slightly racy scene and bohemian artists. Yet, it still maintains standards that make visiting a joy: clean streets, great infrastructure and tolerance.

We were there for a week and crammed each day (between naps) with excursions. Still, we only managed the most cursory of investigations. The churches alone with their Baroque ornate style could fill weeks and so too the hundred or so museums. The parks and architecture presented their own delights and simply perusing the streets soon led to culture fatigue.

A week later, my brain is still trying to process it all. Challenged, inspired and exhilarated, I doubt I will need an art date for months to come.

The Happy Buddha Bowl

Greetings all! I’m finally back to full strength and enjoying the explosion of colour that marks the appearance of summer. The season is always a joy: filled with floral extravagance and the freshest, tenderest produce.

My own attempts at growing have been somewhat stymied by the voracious appetites of our garden gastropods, but I have some hope for my fruit trees and bushes and perhaps my squash. We’ll see.

Luckily for us, the supermarkets and grocers are fully stocked and we can choose any number of delicacies. Taking advantage of this abundance, Mariia and I (and now my husband too, who takes a lunchbox) have been enjoying the most delicious lunches composed of the season’s offerings.

**Food for health**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Gut health

It is also rather rewarding to discover that we have been doing exactly what is necessary for our guts (and our immune systems) to thrive. The Overcoming Multiple Sclerosis programme has been advocating this for years, and it seems that the world has caught on.

Eating lots of raw and unprocessed foods, in a rainbow of colours and varieties, ensures that our guts work at their best. One of my favourite chefs, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, has just written a cookery book on How to Eat 30 Plants a Week based in part on the work of Tim Spector (who also has a book and co-founded Zoe). I’ve referenced them so that you can find out a bit more about the science (Tim Spector) and additional ideas (Hugh). But if you want an easy entry to the topic – read on!

Through feeding our bodies with fresh, healthy foods, we can help diminish the chances of succumbing to any number of nasty health conditions: the auto-immune ones, which include cancer and MS; heart disease and all the horrid embarrassing ones like IBS.

I credit the OMS diet – plant based with a wide variety of foods – as an essential part of my keeping my MS stable. It also ensures that I look well – healthy skin, nails, and hair are all reflections of a healthy diet.

Buddha bowls for beginners

When I first embarked on making Buddha bowls regularly, I began with a salad and then went from there. A delicious, green salad is the perfect base for your meal and, when made in bulk, lasts at least a few days in the fridge.

**The base** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

My family has always loved an interesting salad and there are no holds barred when it comes to ingredients. These are things that might get thrown in: salad leaves, pea shoots, cucumber, broccoli, avocado, apples, mint, marjoram, dill, parsley, chard, spinach, rosemary, onions and carrots for a bit of colour. Whatever you have in the fridge, or enjoy, should form the base of your bowl. I use loads of herbs, as they are superfoods and grow in my garden – but they are equally easy to grow on the windowsill.

Grains

I’m not sure that I could survive with just a green salad. Something a little more substantial is called for. My go-to choice would be couscous, cracked bulger wheat and quinoa.

All of these can be cooked with vegetable stock and/or dressed with oil and vinegar or lemon. For tabbouleh, add chopped fresh mint, spring onions and dried fruits.

Though I invariably make a huge amount, it never seems to last long. Luckily, they only take minutes to cook. By using the residual heat method (add liquid, bring to boil, cover and leave with lid on and heat source off) it could not be easier. Any left-overs will improve in the fridge where they take on the flavour of the dressings.

Bean there, done that

Another way to ensure that lunch will keep you going is to add beans and lentils to the bowl. I especially love giant butter beans, chickpeas and beluga lentils.

Many of us are put off these, as the ones we get in a tin are seldom very toothsome. For chickpeas, I always buy them in jars and the beans and lentils, I cook in bulk from dried.

**From dried bean to ready to use** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Again, do not despair in anticipating lots of preparation. Beans need soaking overnight in a large bowl (they expand exponentially). Lentils just need rinsing. Despite what many of my cookery books advise, a pressure cooker or hours standing over the stove is not necessary. Most beans and lentils will cook fine if you add the required water, bring to the boil and then leave off the heat with the lid on until the water has cooled. If your beans need an extra blast to make them soft, simply repeat.

I tend to cook my beans and lentils 500g at a time (dried) and when everything is cooked and cooled, put them into little recycled bags and freeze. (Aim for about a tin drained weight and they will be perfect for all your recipes.) With salad dressings, mayonnaise or plain, they add a delicious bit of protein to your meal.

Extras!

My family are total foodies for whom the expression, ‘If less is more, imagine how much more would be,’ is especially apt. Our bowls may start with the basics of leaves, beans and grains, but they soon turn into a cornucopia of deliciousness sourced from whatever is in the fridge or on our shelves.

As these are all premade or long life products, it allows us to vary our bowls without much extra effort. Hearty additions include houmous, olives , pickles, nuts, fruit and left-overs.

Is there a little dollop of houmous in the fridge? Drop it in. One lonesome veggie sausage from last night’s dinner? Slice and add. Many fruits, dried or fresh can add a bit of zing to your bowl. Those non-vegans among us can turn to the trusty staples of tuna and cheese.

Not just for summer

Though these salad days are the perfect time to get into the Buddha bowl vibe, they are equally good during the cooler months. Choose leaves that are in season where possible or create scrumptious slaws with cabbage, carrot and apples. The options are endless.

I hope that you will take the opportunity to try this wonderful food concept and enjoy nourishment and enlightenment in one.

My husband and I are off for a cultural vacation in Vienna next week. I wish you sunny days and look forward to writing to you again when we get back. x

Speechless

One of the many miseries this wretched virus has bestowed upon me has been the loss of my voice. As a voluble, chatty sort, this has been hard to bear. I was unable to call anyone if I needed anything, explain myself, or sing. My world suddenly became very quiet. Because I could only whisper, others whispered back. Or if there was background noise, such as the car, nobody bothered speaking at all.

Return

Luckily, my voice returned last night, but its presence is at best intermittent and certainly feeble.

All this made me think about having a voice and being able to use it. In my case, it has been a temporary and annoying symptom of a nasty cold. Yet, historically, silencing has been a much more lengthy and miserable affair.

While convalescing, I read Sue Monk Kidd’s excellent The Invention of Wings. It is a brilliant book intertwining the lives of the Grimke sisters and the slaves belonging to their household. It is unlikely that you have heard of them (another silencing) but the sisters were leading abolitionists and exceptional because they came from the wealthy plantation class. Their response to witnessing the ill-use of slaves was to defend them.

**Sarah Moore Grimke** whose work inspired Harriet Beecher Stowe’s *Uncle Tom’s Cabin*

Seeing a startling connection between the lack of rights for slaves and of women, they became some of the earliest advocates of rights for women in the US. Ironically, it was the condemnation and abuse they experienced for ‘speaking out’ on the slavery issue that propelled them to this position.

Controlled expression

While mocked in editorials, heckled after lectures and once pelted with stones, the sisters were spared the worst of punishments for those who spoke out of turn. One of the most evil was the scold : an iron bridle that pierced the tongue if the user attempted to speak. The victim was further humiliated by being paraded around the village or held at a public place – all for the ‘crime’ of nagging or of speaking inappropriately. Presumably, men stumbling drunkenly from the pub shouting all manner of obscenities were no threat to the public at all.

**Branks or scold’s bridle** Image: Rev. Thomas Davidson

What you can and cannot say

Women have not been the only ones punished for speaking out of turn. Political reformers and all manner of religious proponents have been punished, often by death, for daring to question the sovereignty of the government’s views.

When we imagine of this kind of punishment, our thoughts invariably turn to those countries that are theocracies. Yet, the blasphemy laws were only repealed in the UK in 2008 (England and Wales) and 2024 (Scotland). The last person punished under these laws was John William Gott in Dec 1921. He received nine months’ of hard labour and died shortly afterwards (Wikipedia).

And the blasphemy laws did not prohibit people from disrespecting the religions of others – they only protected the state religion (in our case Christianity) whilst all abuse levelled at Jews, Muslims etc was quite acceptable.

Modern prohibitions

Though I am grateful that we have moved on from burning folks at the stake for expressing their non-conformist beliefs, we have not moved on as far as one might hope. Where censorship once rested with the state, it now seems to rest with the public and most especially users of social media.

**Cancel culture** Image: Markus Winkler on Unsplash

Being ‘cancelled’ may not phase the immensely wealthy like JK Rowling (though I doubt she enjoys it), but it has cost many their jobs and a position they have taken years, if not decades, to obtain. Trial by mob is as far from democratic principles as one can get, yet far too many large organisations bow to this form of dictatorship.

The fear of saying the wrong thing has a stifling effect across society. We are not always sure what is or is not appropriate language, so we say nothing. The moderate views are subsumed by the more aggressive until nothing but shouts and extremism is heard.

It’s time to speak our truth

With the election soon upon us, I hope that we will feel free to express our views without ridicule or censure. People are often, understandably, cautious to do this, but if we do not speak and listen attentively, our political system becomes a farce.

If our position is strong and based on solid information, we have nothing to fear from our perceived opponent. A sea wall does not crumble at the appearance of the first wave.

Historically, so many have suffered and died that we might have the freedom (both social and political) to express our thoughts. Let us ensure their legacy continues and that all of us who have a voice can use it.

Sick Note

Apologies, but I shan’t be able to hand in my homework on time this week. I have been struck low by a stinky cold and spent most of my days on the sofa: sleeping, coughing and blowing my nose.

I’m hoping that I shall be back to full strength next week and will write to you then.

All the best, Karen x

A Day to Remember

To be honest, I had not intended to write about my birthday celebrations on Saturday, but the day turned out so beautifully that I wanted to make a record of it here. After days of preparation, we were ready to welcome our guests. The dining room table was laden with afternoon tea goodies (to which my friends added even more) and the garden was arranged to be as sociable as possible.

**All is quiet** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Perfect weather

After all the changeable and quite frankly wet weather we have had recently, I was being rather optimistic about having a garden party. But the gods were smiling upon us and the day proved to be positively Mediterranean.

Soon seats and glasses were filled. We managed to build our appetites with conversation before loading our plates with sweets and savouries of every kind.

Since many friends brought delicious treats they had made themselves, I could offer a variety that went well beyond my abilities. It also removed a great deal of the pressure. If my scones didn’t rise or the cake got burnt, I would at least have something else to offer.

Entertainments

With such a range of guests of varying ages, who did not all know one another, we thought it wise to employ some activities to encourage mingling.

The most successful was our crazy croquet. Much as we love Hermione, she has done nothing for our lawn, which, in the politest description is a trifle uneven. Croquet, of course, should be played on a billiard table smooth surface, but we do like a challenge.

Jeff had set up a very easy route, but between evading the dog who thinks all balls ought to be chased, and overcoming clumps and bumps in the grass, it took some skill (and a little cheating) to get around.

My niece and nephew (far right) were completely unperturbed by the obstacles and had won before Clare and I had reached half way. Ah well, youth was on their side.

How well do you know your country?

After thirty odd years of living in the UK, my husband has finally decided to apply for citizenship. Of course, now it is a little more difficult and requires learning all about the country (and I mean all about the country.)

**The test** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Our parties always include a quiz and here we had one ready made. The questions are seriously hard and I’m not entirely sure that everyone there would have passed on their own. Ironically, the winning team contained a German and a Ukrainian. Though they did have one very clever Brit!

Not wanting the day to end

Eventually, it was time for everyone to go and we said our prolonged goodbyes and tidied up the chaos.

But we were not really ready for the day to end. On Friday, Sussex had been blessed with an amazing display of the Northern Lights, which we had failed to note, being otherwise distracted.

Since the Northern Lights have been on my bucket list for decades, I was not willing to miss the chance of seeing them again. So I prepared to stay up waaay past my bedtime.

As the evening was balmy, my husband lit the chimenea and we waited for darkness to fall. The fire launched itself into the dimming night, sparks twirling like fireflies.

Then, just as the final light was fading, the bats wooshed past, flapping their wings at great speed. They looked otherworldly in the purple dusk.

The stars at night

When the sky was silky black, we set off for Beachy Head, thinking it an ideal spot with dark skies. Alas, everyone else had had the same idea and we were caught in a traffic jam!

Undeterred, we turned around and headed for the churchyard of a quiet village. Perfect. We set up our blanket in the grounds of the Medieval church, wrapped ourselves up in our DryRobes and lay back to watch the show.

**The night sky** Image: Klemen Vrankar on Unsplash

Since the sky was clear, the stars were brilliant. In this dark space, I was able to see constellations that I seldom observe in the town. Jeff even saw a shooting star and I hope that he made a good wish.

It was truly magical and though the Northern Lights decided not to appear, I was still very happy to have spent an hour in the company of stars.

In so many ways, the day was remarkable. I doubt that every birthday will be quite so special, but I have this one to treasure.

Thoughts on Turning Sixty

Today (Thursday) I turn sixty. It seemed such a long way off and now, suddenly, it is here! I cannot say that I am sad to see the end of my 50s, as they were a challenging time.

They were an extended period of ill health with my MS diagnosis followed only a couple of years later by that of breast cancer. It was a decade filled with hospital appointments, intrusive and often painful procedures. It was a decade marked by despair and endless, endless adjustments to an ever-shifting reality. Yet.

Up from the ashes

It has also been a decade of tremendous growth. Coping with all of the above has forced me to consider the ways that we can manage a life that is less than ideal. My guide on this journey was the inimitable Jon Kabat-Zinn, whose opus Full Catastrophe Living was my starting point.

Just as entering a hospice releases the patient from the well-meaning ‘Get well soons’, so this book released me from unrealistic hope. It said, rather bluntly, that you are sick; you are not likely to get better, but here is what we can do about it so that you can live with grace and even joy.

In addition, I engaged therapists who helped me navigate first the difficulties of MS and then to cope with whatever outcome my cancer may bring. (It carried a 75% survival rate, but one in four not surviving felt a little daunting.)

These amazing women enabled me to let go of the burdens we all carry psychologically and, I truly believe, set me on the path to healing.

In tandem with this, I embarked full-heartedly on the OMS lifestyle – switching to a plant based diet, keeping active through the pain, seeking guidance and employing meditation and prayer more consistently.

**The way forward** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

And it worked.

At sixty, I am, against all odds, able to live a full life. I may not be able to walk far, but I can walk.

And throughout these difficult years, there were the most joyous occasions. Both my sons married and now I have two, beautiful and talented daughter-in-laws who I am proud to call family. I also have an adorable granddaughter, Sofia, who is a bright and charming as can be.

**Sofia enjoying the outdoors** Image: Scott Costello-McFeat

We have a crazy, bouncy, and loving Cocker Spaniel who keeps us feeling fit and loved. We have our Ukrainian guest, Mariia, who is a joy. She has taught us so much about her home and the trials her countrymen face.

On a personal side, retiring from both teaching and volunteering at Citizens’ Advice has meant missing good company and stimulating work, but it does give me space to rest and pursue my own interests.

My days are usually filled with all sorts of loveliness. Little of it is FB worthy, but trips to Birling Gap; crafting with friends and working in the garden give me the most pleasure of all.

If the last decade has taught me anything, it is that we should not sweat the small stuff but celebrate it. Practising gratitude daily has, I’m sure, transformed my brain. All the things that seemed so important when I was younger: status, wealth, possessions have lost their allure. A single flower is a masterpiece; a novel, a whole world.

The cliche that great pain can lead to great growth has been true in my case. I would not wish the pain on anyone, but it is humbling. And we are not alone. Everyone struggles. Everyone suffers. Attuning to this can help us develop compassion.

Mirror image

My planned life and my actual one have been mirror images. As someone still playing tennis and cycling into their late forties, I’d assumed that my good health would continue indefinitely. With my children grown and settled, I could indulge in a proper career (with a pension!) and travel with my husband.

Or not.

Perhaps the greatest challenge has been to accept that. My life is certainly different, but I cannot say that it is really worse. I can fill my days with art, reading, writing and companionship. These are all the things I love.

As for my 60s? Who knows what they will bring and I no longer try to anticipate the future. There is today and there is tomorrow and I plan to relish every minute of it. And I hope that you can do the same.

Word Power – Part 3

Kind Words

With so many people abusing language, it sometimes makes us feel rather hopeless. How can we combat all those stirring up hatred or misinforming us for their own ends?

We can, as many do, shake our heads and ask what the world is coming to, or we can retaliate with truth and kindness. If anything, truth is a far more powerful than lies and kindness can overcome even the most deep-seated hatred. Perhaps you think me naive, but history tells us otherwise. Dictators fall and the dishonest are exposed. Perhaps this doesn’t happen as quickly as we hope, but it does happen.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

Burke was right. Evil only flourishes when it is left unattended, just like the weeds in the garden. Inaction is so appealing. Letting someone else deal with it is so appealing, but such passivity comes at a cost.

And we don’t need to do anything radical or extreme to support those causes we value. We can voice our opinion in a measured way when others say cruel or false things. We can write to the papers or our MP and know that at least someone will note what we have said. So few people actually write letters to their MP that you can be assured of a reply. Don’t expect them to suddenly change their mind, but you may well have sown a seed of doubt or offered a viable solution.

**One drop at a time** Image: Herbert Goetsch on Unsplash

The quiet and peaceful approach takes time and effort (which is why so few embrace it) but it is the one that yields results. It is best to think of it as drip feeding ideas. You plant the seed and water slowly and consistently until suddenly it becomes mainstream. I watched this happen with a brilliant guy who was trying to get us all to use FairTrade products. What was novel then is commonplace now. We tend to forget the labour involved in bringing about change, but without people arguing on our behalf, children would not be educated to 18; women would not have the vote, and homosexuals would still be jailed. Take a moment to think of all the positive changes that have taken place in the last century. It began with a voice.

One of the blessings of living in a democracy is that if all else fails, we can amplify our voices through peaceful protest. When tens of thousands of people join to express their views, politicians take notice.

Softly, softly

No matter how irritating, wrong headed or outrageous the remarks made, we need to control our desire to lash back. Responding to inflammatory language with inflammatory language merely stokes the fire. We need to take a breath, ask questions (why do they have such strange ideas?) and most importantly, treat the speaker with respect no matter how much we may wish to bop them on the nose.

**Good advice** Image: Brett Jordan on Unsplash

It takes incredible self control to do this (and as a rather passionate creature, it nearly kills me to do it) but I know that it is the only way forward. And if we can, an argument becomes a debate in which we can both learn.

On the personal level

Of course, kind language should always be used on the personal level. We all crave recognition and love and I cannot say how often a few kind words have lifted me from sadness or despair. Language can be a super power to transform lives.

Perhaps our words may be made in a phone call or text or even better a letter. When we write, we have the luxury of time to think through what we want to say. And who doesn’t love to receive a letter?

**Who said stationery should be dull?**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Our words may be a frivolous exchange of news – always a joy – or may be something more serious. Sadly, a number of people I know are going through real difficulties of illness and bereavement. Though such situations are hard to negotiate, our words can be a balm where little else can help.

Nourishing relationships

The language we exchange between friends is what nourishes our relationships. We may send a silly meme or write a long missive, but at heart we are saying we care. I love receiving cards and keep them on the mantle piece for far longer than I probably should. But they are something that always makes me smile.

**Cheerful cards** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

I received beautiful thank you cards from my university friends who came to visit recently. They make me want them to come and see us all over again.

Word shy

I appreciate that not everyone is comfortable writing or even expressing themselves, but if this is the case, there is no reason to remain silent, we can all upon the professionals!

Poets are the ultimate wordsmiths and are quite happy to be quoted, so if you cannot think how to express something difficult, google will provide plenty poets who can.

Or perhaps you just want to share something wonderful you have read. One of my Flow activities is to leave a message on a public bench. I am shy of doing it and unsure what to write. But I think I have found my answer in Mary Oliver’s poetry book. Here is the section 4 of the poem ‘Sometimes’ that I’d like to use:

Instructions for living a life:

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell about it.

Mary Oliver

For ultimately, language should be the vehicle of thoughtfulness and kindness. Express it!

Word Power – Part 2

Bad Language

In part one, I looked at how numerous authors and organisations attempted to rein in English to create one cohesive and comprehensible form. Their intentions were invariably good- to facilitate understanding and aid in education. Yet, even here they also created barriers for some and power for others. Even the best laid schemes will have their flaws.

Class division

Perhaps one of the most subtle and erroneous effects of creating a ‘right’ way to speak and use English was to strengthen those barriers erected by class. The educated, middle and upper classes could flag their superiority over others simply by opening their mouths. The working classes would despise them for it and vice versa.

It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him.
George Bernard Shaw

Such prejudice serves neither group well.

**If, like me, you want to correct that W to the standard H, you know where you stand!**
Image: Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

Unfortunately, until quite recently, it was fair to assume that the top jobs went to those who spoke ‘properly’. Parents often invested in elocution lessons or private schooling to ensure that their children would. In a world where these things matter, such action is entirely understandable. And though there is a penchant for Estuary English (think East Enders) amongst DJs and celebrities, it is unlikely to appear much in the Houses of Parliament.

And it is not merely accent. Our vocabulary too can be weaponised to exclude or make others feel stupid. If our sentences are littered with foreign phrases, Latin or technical terms, we are either speaking with peers or brandishing our linguistic skills as a sword to cut others down.

A doctor who tells a patient that he has a contusion, is unlikely to enlighten her. One who says it is just a bruise, will.

Tired of endless gobbledygook in all aspects of documents from legal letters to NHS ones, Chrissy Maher founded the Clear English Campaign in 1979 with the intention of making English intelligible to all.

Here’s an example of unclear English:

Any reference to a specific statute include any statutory extension or modification amendment or re-enactment of such statute and any regulations or orders made under such statute and any general reference to “statute” or “statutes” include any regulations or orders made under such statute or statutes.”

(Paragraph within a letter from a solicitor’s firm) Plainenglish.co.uk

?????????

**Words, words, words** Image: Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash

The use of legalese, for example, is a notorious abuse of the language, forcing clients to rely on their solicitor’s interpreting skills and boosting his fees. In defence of lawyers (pun intended) absolute precision is required in legal documents – but precision does not obscure meaning.

Language can also become a tool to discriminate against and belittle minority groups. Again attempts have been made to correct this, but currently there are fears that things have gone a bit too far.

Sticks and Stones

As a child, I would chant the popular rhyme, ‘Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me,’ whenever someone made a mean comment. But this was just bravado. Name calling does hurt – especially if it refers to something which sets us apart.

In the 1970s, the term political correctness was formed. People began to challenge the right to being sexist, homophobic etc in ways that no-one had really considered before. The British hit comedy TV show, Till Death Do Us Part now comes with a ‘disturbing’ notice for the viewer on YouTube. In the 1960’s, it was mainstream television.

Much of what this loose, language movement has achieved is admirable. Words such as chairman, fireman and so on have been made gender neutral allowing girls to think that this is something to which they can aspire. Insulting language based on race, religion, disability or sexual orientation is no longer acceptable. All this is great.

The only problem is that occasionally, minority groups use ‘correct language’ themselves as a means to shame those they disagree with. Some sort of balance needs to be found before we fall into farce.

Doublespeak

Unlike the Scottish government’s intention to eradicate hate speech, other governments have used language to generate hatred (propaganda) or to obscure their actions – sometimes inverting meaning. George Orwell in his classic 1984 takes the concept of doublespeak to it’s extreme.

“War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.”
― George Orwell, 1984

If this seems fanciful, the modern examples of ‘killed by friendly fire’ and ‘alternative facts’ (lies) are no different.

Spreading falsehoods to achieve ones ends is, sadly, nothing new. Nazi Germany excelled in this area. Through a relentless hate campaign, the Nazis successfully dehumanised and vilified the Jews to the extent that ordinary citizens became complicit in killing them. For an interesting and in-depth look at language and propaganda, click here: https://english.elpais.com/society/2022-12-04/how-nazi-propaganda-dehumanized-jews-to-facilitate-the-holocaust.html#

And of course, Jews were not their only target, communists, homosexuals and Romany people all came under attack and suffered equally.

**Bolshevism without a mask** Herbert Agricola Library of Congress

Images and language combine for the most potent effects, which is why the media is the perfect vehicle for transmission.

Media aware

The 21st century has seen an explosion of news and information sites. The interconnectivity of the World Wide Web allows content sharing at its finest and its worst.

Fake news, propaganda and misinformation all swirl in the same pool that we call the media. Add AI generated material and digital manipulation and sifting the truth becomes a Herculean task.

**Read all about it!** Image: The Blowup on Unsplash

Yet, establishing what sources of information we can trust is vital for a healthy democracy. How else can we vote with conviction?

The first problem that we encounter is the fact that all media outlets are driven not by a desire to inform but to raise revenue via advertising. The more readers; the more revenue. The more sensational the story; the more readers. You can see where this is going.

High quality outlets are generally less obviously skewed by this, but we should bear in mind that they are not immune from the effects of it either.

So how can we select what is fact and what is mere manipulation? Our first task is to identify the kind of language that the paper uses. If it is highly emotive as in the headline above (rescue), reader beware. Language that sets our pulses racing and our blood pressure rising is invariably suspect.

The length of an article is also a good measure of its seriousness. Reduction always involves an abbreviation of information, which in itself simplifies, losing nuance and explanation.

Limiting ourselves to publications that reflect our political beliefs may be comfortable but purely reinforces them. Reading what the other side has to say is enlightening and, if nothing else, helps us understand the views of those we oppose.

All this takes time.

And I’ve already taken a good deal of yours reading this (though I have edited out as much as I’ve put in). Our time is precious; yet language too is precious in formulating and expressing our thoughts. Take your time and use it wisely.

Next week, I’ll look at using the power of language to create positive outcomes.