As December sets in, the days begin to shorten ever more rapidly, compressing down to a mere eight hours of sunlight when the Earth tilts the furthest from the sun on the winter solstice.
With the weather often dismal, the skies an impenetrable grey, it seems as though dawn and dusk are interchangeable – a long, dull ache separating the night.
These are the dark days.
To combat this, almost all cultures have created winter festivals that celebrate light to combat the gloom and expel its accompanying sadness. Yet, this very insistence on jollity can itself be a burden for those who find this period of year a difficult one.
Christmas is presented as a time of family reunion, friendship and conviviality, but for many it will be a bitter-sweet reminder of those they have lost. My brother died when he was a young man and I have spent every Christmas since becoming a little unhinged (which fortunately my husband understands) until I have visited the cemetery and laid an evergreen wreath. This year, it will be for my father too. Blessed are those who will not be grieving someone this Christmas.
With the focus on parties and socialising, those suffering from isolation are isolated further. Harsh weather conditions make mobility even more of a mine-field and fragile health will cause many to stay indoors to avoid the risks of cold and flu. But in doing so, they will miss the tonic of friendship which fends off melancholy.
Unfortunately, depression will strike most of us at some point in our lives. Usually, we can shrug it off, but if it continues, we need to have the courage to ask for (and if appropriate) offer help. In certain instances, it is related to the weather. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is most common during the winter months and is worsened by staying inside. If your depression is seasonal, the NHS gives helpful information here: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/ If your depression has gone beyond what you feel able to cope with, contact your GP or an organisation such as The Samaritans https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/.
Chiaroscuro – light and shadow
The great masters knew that the best way to perceive darkness was through the addition of light – that as a sort of optical yin and yang, they were inseparable from each other.
And this is the essence of this post. No-one’s life is composed of solely happy, carefree days any more than a year is filled with temperate, summer ones. Our days, like the weather, shift and change, fleeting as the clouds on the horizon. The assumption that because it is the Christmas season, we will be happy is as misconceived as it is dangerous.
We know very well that this is a period of real mental trial for many. If I have been a bit of a downer in this post, I apologise, but I didn’t want to go full swing into the Christmas period (which I love) without first giving voice to my concerns.
Dark days are not to be shunned and those who experience them outcast. They are reminders of the transitory nature of things and as such to be welcomed and acknowledged with the same grace as any other part of our lives.
So, if you are struggling at this time of year, please know that you are not alone. We just need to hold fast. Brighter days are coming.