The road to hell, they say, is paved with good intentions, but not because our intentions are inherently evil, but rather when not acted upon, leave us with our usual flawed behaviours. The trick is to have intentions that we make good upon.
While listening to a wonderful webinar on meditation practice on the OMS website, one of the things the speaker, Phil Startin, recommended was setting one’s intentions for the day. He is not alone in suggesting a daily practice of goal setting, but this was a little different. These were not goals in the sense of achieving an objective – baking a cake, running 5K (!) or doing a kind deed, but in regard to one’s behaviour. ‘How do I want to behave today?’ he asks. It is a question worth pondering.
Intention meditation
Phil went on to say how he considers both how he will act and how he will communicate, with the intention of making both more loving and kind. His ideas were something that resonated with me, but how to incorporate this into my daily practice? I try to do a formal meditation each morning for about 15 minutes with mini, informal ones throughout the day. Like most people, I struggle to keep my focus, but here was a way I might do that and give my day a unique sense of purpose. It took me a while to come up with a plan and then I remembered the Quaker testimonies or guide to living that is neatly summed up in the acronym STEEP. The letters stand for: simplicity, truth, equality, environment and peace.
So after a few, deep breaths and a mini-body scan to ground me in the present, I begin.
Simplicity
Let me live simply. How does this work in our world of abundance? We could don sackcloth and live in bare rooms with only Shaker furniture, but I’m not sure that is necessary. I have spent more time thinking about this one than any other and know I shall spend much more time still. My best suggestion to myself is to avoid being seduced by the siren song of materialism. Simplicity is not about depriving oneself but rather avoiding excess. Whatever we have should be valued and honoured. When we appreciate what we have, we seldom want more.
Truth
Let me speak the truth and be true to myself. Speaking the truth as you see it is not always easy and certainly not always popular. However, to retain our self-respect, we do need to be honest about what we believe. There is no need to proselytise, but we should not shrink from our opinion, even as we acknowledge that we might be wrong!
Sometimes the truth hurts or is simply overwhelming. If this is likely to be the case, I try to adopt Emily Dickinson’s strategy of ‘Tell all the truth but tell it slant’. Avoiding hurt is always more important than being right. Here’s her poem in full.
Tell all the truth but tell it slant
Tell all the truth but tell it slant —
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth’s superb surprise
As Lightning to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind —
Equally vital is to stay true to our essential being. We all play roles: mother, wife, daughter, father, husband, son, but these do not reflect who we are. Our true being is much greater and complex. Finding ourselves beneath the roles is a quest on its own, but one which quiet times allow us to embark upon.
Equality
Let me treat everyone as an equal. This one looks so simple, but is the most complex of all. There are inequalities of all kinds of relationships from families to race. I usually pick one to focus upon, as there is so much to contemplate. We can think of transactional analysis where we relate to each other as parent, adult or child (ideally, we relate as adult to adult), or we can think in terms of class struggle: do I look down on those who are financially worse off and unthinkingly admire the wealthy? Then there is race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, disability etc. All the ‘isms’ are best avoided, but we will have more work to do than simply speak in a politically correct way. Christ probably put it most succinctly when he said, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ If we can manage that, we really will have a more equal society.
Environment
Let me honour this world that is my home. I’ve always been a keen environmentalist and struggle constantly with how modern living affects the earth. We cannot fail to make some impact, but we can attempt to make it as small as possible. The Jehovah’s witnesses believe that man has stewardship over the earth rather than dominion. I think they have a point. By setting our intention each morning to look after the world rather than despoil it, we can inform our actions accordingly. By fostering a love of the outdoors, I believe that we make this goal easier still.
Peace
Let me promote peace in my relationships and in my being. Peace, like most things, starts at home. If we can work on creating more peaceful relationships with those we interact with, we can hope to bring peace to others too. It may mean doing something as simple as holding your tongue when someone says something unpleasant or expects you to like a cruel meme. We can fuel the fire or we can take away its oxygen.
As for ourselves, we are cauldrons of emotions – often negative ones. I am no exception here and was famous for my daily rant to my poor office mate in South Carolina. Apologies! There is so much injustice, wickedness, corruption and plain stupidity in the world that it is easy to spend one’s life in a state of permanent outrage. Yet, our anger is of no purpose if we don’t seek solutions. More often than not, we simply disturb the equilibrium of the listener and, of course, ourselves . Finding a centre of peace and loving kindness will lead to ripples of the same extending outward from us. Achieving a state of peace is a life-long challenge, but when I succeed in holding it, even for a few minutes, it is as wonderful as it gets.
Have it your way
Living intentionally doesn’t require joining a convent or a cult. It only requires that you commit to the idea of living with a purpose and setting your intention to do it. As is true for anything worthwhile, it demands a certain amount of discipline and commitment. What are your values? Use these to create your own acronym and guide your morning contemplations. These could develop into prayers or mantras or as a focus for your thoughts. Whatever you choose, it will help you start your day in a positive and hopeful way. And we will all benefit from that.