Embarking on 2021, the nation convinced itself that this was going to be a year of hope and transformation. This year, all those problems of 2020 would be wiped away. This year, things were definitely going to get better. But world events heed no calendar. The amazing new vaccine was going to take a long time – several months – to deliver and meanwhile, cases were soaring. The much lauded defeat of Trump in November did not end there, but dribbled on with court case after court case and ended, spectacularly, with the storming of the Capitol. And if our spirits were not feeling sufficiently dampened, the rain and the cold saw to that.
And amongst all this, I knew that I had to cultivate gratitude, because without it, my mental and physical health would suffer. It was not going to be easy. As is often the way, the solution came from unexpected quarters. I received an adorable calendar as a Christmas gift just days after I’d purchased one for the kitchen and my son sent me an exquisite leather journal.
The gratitude calendar
The calendar I received was super cute and very personal. My friend knows I love Beatrix Potter, so it definitely was going on display in the dining room where I work. It seemed as shame, though, not to write anything on it. With a full page diary and a supplementary joint calendar, it was not going to be used for appointments. The question then remained as to how I would record each day. Then it came to me. This would be my gratitude calendar. I would write down one thing that I appreciated or brought me joy. In full lock-down, there was not going to be anything newsworthy, but it would remind me of how it is often the little things that count. And at the end of the year, when I took it down, I would see that 365 wonderful things had occurred in my life that I was thankful for.
Examples of my entries include: homemade chocolate (my husband is proving a natural chocolatier); being brought a cup of tea in bed when I was especially tired; a walk in the winter sunshine and cuddles with the dog. Rather than searching for any good thing in my day, I often have to select one of many. And if you are struggling to find the benefits in life, I suggest that you start with your most basic needs and work up. In the West, we so take for granted our warm homes, clean water, and access to varied and delicious foods, that we forget what luxuries they are. As someone who does not take their existence for granted, I always begin and end the day with thanks for being here to enjoy it.
The gratitude journal
These last weeks have been a little stressful with health worries. Not wanting to spiral down the rabbit-hole of self-pity and despair, or obsess on how life hasn’t exactly gone to plan, I thought about all that I had experienced instead. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised that even if I were to expire tomorrow (don’t worry, no chance of that!) I have lived a truly wonderful life.
The more I pondered, the more amazing stories tumbled out. Perhaps I should record them. After all, family stories are so easily lost and forgotten. Now that beautiful journal that had been placed on the shelf, because it seemed too good to write in, had a purpose commensurate with its loveliness. So I began writing. I’m aiming for an entry a day. Like Tristan Shandy, I suspect that my memories will exceed the paper and time available to write them. But what of it? Each day, I am reminded of good times and that raises my spirits. The journal will be there for me too when times are harder and will console me. They are a record too, of a life fully lived.
Gratitude matters
Psychotherapist and author Amy Morin writes in ‘7 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude’ (Psychology Today) how practising the act of thankfulness can bring significant benefits to our lives. Her own life was filled with tragedy, but this young woman has focused on the positive, resulting in her maintaining mental strength through adversity. Here’s a very condensed version of her article.
- Say thank you Most of us were raised by parents who were constantly reminding us to say thank you. Aside from fostering good manners, they were also teaching us a habit that would earn us friends and improve our social relationships.
- Feeling grateful makes you feel better – literally. Positive, grateful people actually experience less pain and are more likely to engage in physical self-care, which, of course, also boosts well-being.
- Gratitude is the key to happiness. Being grateful reduces negative emotions like envy, reduces depression and furthers happiness.
- Thankful people are more empathetic. As a consequence, they respond more generously to others’ behaviours – even when they are unkind.
- Gratitude improves sleep. Writing a gratitude journal, doing an A-Z of gratitude or simply thinking about something you are thankful for in the day puts you in the right frame of mind for deep and restful sleep.
- Having a sense of gratitude makes you feel better about yourself. When comparing yourself with others, you do not feel envy but rather rejoice in their success.
- Fostering gratitude helps us to become more mentally strong and resilient even when life is most challenging. Like now.
And if you need further inspiration, I suggest that you spend a few minutes watching this gorgeous video a friend forwarded to me.
There are still things to make us smile. x