Everyone loves to receive a letter or card. This is why the greeting cards industry in the UK generated a whopping £1.506 billion in 2017. There are few better ways to start the day than with a missive from a friend.
Yet, though we all love receiving mail, most of us are not so good at sending it. We text, we email, we telephone, but seldom put pen to paper. This post is intended to encourage you to do just that. With a second lock-down in the UK beginning this week, we will all be feeling a little more isolated from our friends and family. Through correspondence, we can bridge that gap.
When I was a little girl, my letter writing began with the obligatory thank you notes. Then I began to correspond with my best friend who had moved to Yorkshire at the end of primary school. The wonderful options available to youngsters today was not available to me, so it was write or lose the friendship. Neither she, nor I, wanted that, so we wrote. I doubt our letters were very profound or even particularly interesting. I imagine that there were numerous complaints about dull lessons and wet PE, but I’m sure we also chatted about our latest crushes and minor triumphs.
The years passed. Very occasionally, we would have an opportunity to meet up, but despite the vast periods of time between, whenever we did, it had none of the awkwardness of a long separation. Because that is the brilliance of letter writing. No matter how far apart we are or for how long, our words form a firm chain of connection.
Writing allows you to fully tell your story
The reason that letter writing keeps you close is that it is the most honest form of communication. We plan what we want to say, we choose our words and are not side-tracked by interjections or subject changes. If we feel that we have said something the wrong way, we can edit it. Correspondence has all the joy of conversation with the benefits of time and contemplation.
Writing also allows you to be more personal. If you need to explain something at length or express a difficult emotion, the space and control that correspondence gives, allows you to do that. Perhaps this is why letters are the favoured form of communication for lovers. In the safety of the page, we can say what we feel without fear of censure or embarrassment.
Good letters are not bragging round robins, but rather portraits of the ordinary.
Letters are equally a window into the writer’s life that I honestly have never enjoyed in any other form of communication. By writing of their day to day existence, especially when it relates the minutiae, we get a glimpse of their reality. Good letters are not bragging round robins, but rather portraits of the ordinary: a book you are enjoying; a funny incident at the supermarket; a social event. My favourite writers include what they are doing as they write – ‘I’m on the second cup of coffee and eyeing a croissant’ or ‘Just thought I’d add this before the washing is finished’. By sharing our thoughts and the details of our lives, we connect with each other in very special ways.
Of course, cards and letters are also vehicles for marking important events, but if they become solely this, we are in danger of our letters becoming a bulletin of social highlights. And just as a picture without shadow becomes two dimensional, so does such a letter create a caricature.
I suspect that people often don’t write because they do not have anything especially exciting to say. To this, I cry, ‘Of course, you do!’ Whatever you are doing will be of interest to someone who cares about you. Have you been selecting and planting spring bulbs? Got on with the knitting project you spoke of last time? Managed to do some yoga practice? We are not in a competition to see who has done the most exciting stuff. In the privacy of a letter, we can share our most mundane achievements and express our fears; in other words, be fully human.
Stationery
Choices! Choices! My idea of heaven would be a giant stationery shop with an endless budget. There are so many ways that we can communicate with each other from micro letter/envelopes to pristine A4 cartridge paper. Choosing the right form for the task is part of the pleasure. And it should be a pleasure – selecting a card or paper or perhaps even which pen would suit. Our selection in some way is a nod to the recipient too. Not only should our stationery reflect ourselves, but what we send to whom should match. I have some pretty crazy stationery that I know some will love and others be bemused by. Send what you think they would love to receive.
Postcard
Reluctant letter writers can take heart that a postcard is an excellent form of communication and requires the most meagre amount of writing. I love that a few folks still send cards from their holidays: the scenes and stamps giving a real flavour of their location.
Art postcards too are perfect. Been to a good exhibition? Buy a card and send it with your news or get a stash of images you love and pass them on. After they’ve been read they can adorn the walls or be used as bookmarks.
The more ambitious might indulge in a little DIY here. Colour-in postcards are fabulous or you can buy watercolour books to create your own designs.
Envelopes
An interesting alternative is to use a letter that is itself an envelope. As a student in America, airmail letters were my life-line. They were relatively cheap and if you wrote really small, you could cram in a surprising amount of news.
Or use an envelope template (take a regular envelope and deconstruct it) and make your own on maps or gift wrap. Add lines on the reverse side and write away! Just remember to leave the areas that need to be glued blank or fold and seal with an imaginative sticker. If you want to go further, it is very easy to make origami envelopes for messages as small or large as you wish! Old magazines have an endless supply of beautiful images to work with.
Cards
These are not just for special occasions. My lovely aunt sends me beautiful photography cards and my friend in the States hilarious ones to make me smile. More often than not, these adorn the mantlepiece for weeks to come and many are stored away as happy keep-sakes. This is hardly something one can do with email.
The letter
And finally we come to letters. I love the ones that go for pages and are, perhaps, written over several days. I am a paper fan, so letter writing gives me every opportunity to indulge in the most gorgeous stationery.
Though it is perfectly okay to type a letter, a handwritten one feels infinitely more personal and friendly. I even like to choose the pen and ink I will write with. If you’re going to the bother to write, you may as well go the whole way!
As the days become shorter and lock-down encloses us, it’s time to stock up on stamps and stationery. I can think of no better way to spend our time and share our love. And speaking of which, I have some letters to write.
There’s nothing like sorting through the bills, flyers, adverts, and coupon packs to discover an actual LETTER or post card in the mix! Happiness and joy! I save opening them to the end like they’re dessert.
Wonderful! One is winging its way to you now!
I quite agree with Elizabeth. Of course, emails from real friends have made communication easier and are still pleasurable but we have still to wade through the boring stuff! On the good side, we don’t have to throw into the waste basket quite so much paper. As you say, Karen, with handwritten letters, we can take time to plan and ‘edit’ what we want to say. My small gripe with emails is that people often adopt a ‘voice’ of being in an almighty hurry. e.g. ‘Thks for reply. will get bak to u soon as can. Hv gd day…’
I’ve received emails like that from people in a formal context. What is the hurry? I write the first drafts/ideas/ phrases of poems by hand. Typing on Word only comes much later when it’s useful to move whole phrases or stanzas around. or trying out various line-lengths, etc. Its’ an interesting topic and well illustrated, Karen. Thanks. Jim.
Thanks Jim. I really do think that we underestimate the value of pen and ink. As your poems attest, all time taken to write thoughtfully brings the best results. x
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