Just when you think that winter will never relinquish its icy grip, along comes February with its rapidly lengthening days and exuberant spring flowers. Despite being a short month, it is filled with celebrations: Chinese New Year, Candlemas, Valentine’s and later the carnival season. But the one that best captures this pivotal point between the seasons is the lesser known Imbolc.
Tiny harbingers Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Imbolc
I had never heard of it before my lovely art teacher wished me a happy one. My curiosity peeked, I had to look it up and discovered that if there were possible to have a festival tailored to one’s passions, this was it. Imbolc is a celebration of all things natural with a little culture thrown in for good measure.
Traditionally celebrated by the Celts (Irish and Scots) it was a pagan holiday that started on sundown of Feb 1 and ended 24 hours later. This date marks the half-way point between the winter and spring equinox. From here, though winter may still demonstrate its power with late snow and bitter frosts, the world is turning towards the sun and winter’s reign is reaching its conclusion.
Vibrant narcissus Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
In pre-Christian times, it celebrated the goddess Brigid ‘who was evoked in fertility rites and oversaw poetry, crafts and prophesy.’ (History.com) And she was later absorbed into the Catholic canon as St Brigid, where she continued her patronage of culture, healing and husbandry.
Modern pagans use the date as an opportunity to celebrate the newly waking natural world and culture. As the landscape becomes stippled with the yellows, whites and pinks of spring, it would be churlish not to join them in observing this annual miracle.
Delicate paper whites in their spring colours Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Having admired the blooms and spears of green in my garden, I plan to spend the evening with some poetry. Crafts are always on my to-do list. With Brigid in mind, despite the single figure temperatures of today, I predict that spring will be upon us in no time at all.
As every parent of young children knows, sleep is the most precious of commodities. Were it to be floated on the exchange, its price would exceed all others. The subject is at the forefront of my mind at the moment. Skyping my brother-in-law and daughter-in-law this weekend (both of whom have tiny tots) highlighted the toll that sleepless nights bring. Indeed, considering the levels of sleep deprivation they go through, I am impressed that they are functioning at all, let alone successful professionals.
Sleep has so many necessary functions: from giving your body the opportunity to rest and repair to ensuring good mental health. Yet, too many of us suffer from poor sleep – as many as two-thirds of the population in the UK.
Sleep is crucial to our wellbeing, so if you don’t sleep properly, here are some ideas to improve your nights.
Sleep, glorious sleep! Image: Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash
Early to bed, early to rise
Actually, it is not essential to go to bed early to get a good night’s rest. If you are a night owl, who will simply fidget till midnight, going to bed when you are tired is more sensible. That said, almost all experts agree that earlier is better. Though what is really crucial is establishing a regular routine. Why? Because, ‘keeping a regular sleep schedule—even on weekends—maintains the timing of the body’s internal clock and can help you fall asleep and wake up more easily.’ (Harvard Medical School)
The hardest part of this for me is disciplining myself to get up on the weekend when a lie-in seems so appealing. In another article I read, it suggested adding no more than one hour to your normal wake-up time on days off. Our bodies, sadly, do not know the days of the week and if we extend our sleeping one day and not the next, we are simply deregulating the very clock we depend on for contented slumbers.
Making the bedroom a sanctuary
Perhaps the hardest thing for people during lock-down has been the invasion of work into the home and even the bedroom. If there is no other option than to work from there, where possible keep all your work and equipment in a contained space and ideally out of sight at night. This way you can avoid the siren call of answering just one more email.
Bedrooms are where we go to escape the cares of the day. If we fill them with distractions, they are unlikely to prove restful. Ideally, a bedroom should be clutter free and certainly free from electronic devices such as televisions and laptops. And phones. Definitely phones.
Simple and restful Image: Photo by Beazy on Unsplash
There are a number of reasons why looking at your phone at night is problematic: the blue light inhibits melatonin production and damages the eyes; stimulates you just at the time you need to wind down; causes non-restorative sleep that means you wake feeling tired and can have serious implications for your physical and mental health. For a complete discussion of this topic, please read: https://www.nestandglow.com/life/phone-bedroom
Experts recommend looking at your phone no earlier than 30-60 minutes before bed and keeping it in another room from the one where you sleep. I confess that I do take my phone to bed as an alarm and though I seldom consult it for more than a few minutes, having considered the above, I’ve just ordered an alarm clock!
Keeping your bedroom tidy; making your bed in the morning with lovely linens; decorating in calming colours and adding the odd plant to improve air quality should make your room the sanctuary that it is meant to be.
Book at bedtime
There are few things more delightful than dozing off after reading a book. Better still, have someone to read aloud to you. A story at night (though perhaps not a good thriller) is a great way to bridge the world of reality and the world of dreams.
Everything you need at the bedside Image: Annie Spratt on Unsplash
All books are not equal, however. E-books in general carry the same problems as phones and televisions. A study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences showed that subjects reading from e-readers suffered from a reduction of melatonin and poor quality of sleep. Though it is convenient to use one of these devices when your sleeping partner is dozing off, it may be better to invest in a paperback and a book light.
Interrupted sleep
Far too many people suffer from interrupted sleep or insomnia and few of us will be spared from the odd bout of either. Life is full of stresses and disagreeable surprises, which almost always impact our sleep. Unpleasant though it is at the time, most of us will recover. Others, however, end up on a spiral of inadequate sleep that becomes part of their everyday lives. Knowing how damaging this is, we would be wise to find ways to avoid it happening to us.
That dreaded time when you are wide awake at night Image: Alexandra Gorn
Some of the ways to improve sleep are fairly straight-forward, though not necessarily easy to implement if they are part of your habits.
Avoid stimulants – anything containing caffeine, alcohol and even exercise work as stimulants. Where possible, keep them for earlier in the day.
Keep your cool – most of us sleep better in a room that is a little cooler. Turn the heating down or off before you go to bed.
Reduce the amount you drink, or stop drinking altogether in the hours before bedtime. No-one like to get up in the night to go to the toilet! Contrariwise, if you have a cast-iron bladder and want to get up early, drink a glass or two of water before bedtime. Your bladder will serve as an excellent alarm!
Keep active – the more tired you are, the better you are likely to sleep. If you wish to exercise before bed, stick to something calm like stretching and yoga.
Get outside – Increasing your exposure to natural light will help you sleep better at night.
Stress and anxiety are probably the greatest enemies of a good night’s rest. Strategies such as meditation, yoga, talking therapies and cold immersion can all help here.
Non-restorative sleep
Unfortunately, despite trying all of the above, the blissful benefits of restorative sleep may not be available to you. Those with neurological conditions often suffer from poor sleep as a result of pain and symptoms that occur at night. My new magic medicine has helped with these, but still I wake feeling that I have barely gone to bed. It is possible, even likely, that neurological damage is causing this. As a result, scheduling activities with gaps between and regular rest periods are still required.
And if your sleep is interrupted for another reason, be gentle on yourself. Sometimes life hands us more than we are able to cope with.
As always, I’m optimistic and before I go to bed each night, I recite my little mantra: I will rest well. I will sleep deeply. I will awaken refreshed. Haven’t quite managed it yet, but I’ll keep trying.
Call it synchronicity or call it fate, but this week my reading, conversations and viewing have all reinforced the idea of embracing fear, or as Susan Jeffers put it, to ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’. It started with a great book: OK, Let’s Do Your Stupid Idea. Freyne’s memoir contains a great many stupid ideas that he and his companions acted upon, but crazy though most of them were, one could not help but think that they were part of a life that was lived.
Most of us, in pursuing a more sensible and safe path, often wonder if it is living at all. Though I would not recommend some of Freyne’s more reckless adventures, there is a balance to be struck between allowing our fears to narrow our lives and finding the liberation in overcoming them.
The logic of fear
There is a reason that we feel fear. It is one of our best defences against injury and death. Fear may arise from a direct experience or, as explained by Elizabeth Phelps, through ‘social interaction’. https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/learning-to-fear Our fear response is likely to be equal regardless of whether it is learned as a result of our own experience or from others.
What is interesting here is that we can acquire fears without questioning whether they are well founded or not. Take snakes, for example. Most snakes in Europe are neither venomous nor dangerous to people, yet I confess to being afraid of all of them. Since I an unable to distinguish between the dangerous and benign ones, this is probably a valid position. (In case you ever need to know, venomous snakes tend to have triangular heads and non-venomous round.)
Even looking at this makes me queasy! Image: Alfonso Castro on Unsplash
As an adult, I’m embarrassed to say, I was terrified of talking to official people on the phone. This is something that I learned from my mother. I understand why. While a mother at home with young children, one seldom interacts with anyone more demanding than the postman and it is easy to lose confidence. Unfortunately, official people still need to be spoken to and my husband, never one to shilly-shally, decided that exposure therapy was the way to go.
Facing our fears
So, every time a query needed to be made about the gas bill or the car’s MOT came due, guess who had to make the call? I squirmed and tried to get out of it to no avail. The call was made. No-one died and now, I am happy to talk to anyone.
Certain, deep rooted fears need to be tackled sensitively and slowly. Throwing someone afraid of water into the deep end of a swimming pool is unlikely to work, whereas getting them to join you in a paddling pool on a hot day might start them in the right direction. If it is a true phobia, untangling the source of the fear may also be necessary – sometimes with the help of a good therapist.
Doing it anyway
For most of us though, simply surviving a situation that triggers a fear response can give us the courage to overcome it. Though not claustrophobic, I am not a fan of small, enclosed spaces. When my younger son and husband disappeared down the ‘key hole’ on a caving expedition in Africa, I was given the option of joining them or waiting above with my other son until they returned. The latter seemed much worse and my reluctant older son felt the same way. We went ahead. Let’s say, calling the trip ‘caving’ was a little misleading. This was full-on potholing. There were bats and climbs and commando crawling through the mountain’s granite intestines. At one point, my battery pack caused me to get stuck. The shrill screams of my youngest (who had managed to get dust in his eyes) somehow dislodged me and gave me sufficient adrenaline to finish the course.
Not me, but you get the picture Image: Jason Gardner on Unsplash
Upon reaching daylight, I have never felt so exhilarated. My eldest declared he was no longer claustrophobic and I wondered in that moment if I had become more so! Though having had time to recover, few small, enclosed spaces fill me with dread. Which is good, because yesterday, I spent the better part of an hour in an MRI scanner.
In one episode of the wonderful series, Magic for Humans, magician Justin Willman talks of a recurring nightmare of turning up to perform and discovering he is naked. The cure? He takes a show to a nudist camp. There are ways, it seems, of overcoming even the most outlandish fears safely.
Fear of failure
If there was one fear that causes more pain and suffering and diminishment of life, it is surely this one. Over decades of teaching, my goal, above all others, is to give my pupils confidence in themselves and their abilities. Without it, students panic, lose focus and sometimes even fail exams they are more than qualified to succeed in. Fear of failure in life is costly.
There are ways to allay our fears, of course. Preparation is often our best ally -after all, we have practised the task many times. Quieting our minds is another. I was most impressed by my young student whose ‘meditation practice’ before exams is to breathe whilst counting backwards from 1,000 in sevens. (He’s a maths boffin.) He knows from experience that when he is overcome with anxiety, his mind fizzles into confusion – muddling his answers. So now, when he feels that rising dread, he has a system that works for him.
A third technique, is to reduce the pressure of expectation. When we write with the goal of being a prize winning author, or paint with the quality of one of the masters as our aim, we are likely to be disappointed. If we do it with the pleasure of the activity in mind and an open view of what might result, we can enjoy the process and perhaps initiate something good.
Just playing! Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
My friend was given an art journal. She was instructed to play and explore and give no mind to the result. For those of us working in creative realms, the blank page can feel like the enemy. Taking away any sense of expectation allows us to be more creative not less. The giver of the journal refers to this form of art as ‘playing with colour’. I love that.
Fear of failure, fear of shame
The most stifling and life-diminishing fear of all is that of failure resulting in shame. If we are not careful, it can thwart our lives entirely, preventing us from trying again or even trying at all. Brene Brown has researched, written and talked about this subject extensively and it is far too large a subject to discuss in a paragraph. To give you a taster, here is her TED Talk on Vulnerability.
Not such a stupid idea
Without advocating a reckless disregard for your safety, I would certainly encourage you to take some risks. They may work out; they may not. What of it? When we push our boundaries, we grow. And our failures are often our most helpful training tool. Try to take on something you fear this week – you may find that fear is your friend after all.
Ceaseless rain, freezing temperatures, days that seem to end before they have begun. Is it any wonder then that January, following so close on the heals of the sparkling festive season, often leaves us feeling down? The third Monday in January (the 17th this year) is often referred to as Blue Monday. We may have passed that date, but I think all of us need a little lift during the final weeks of winter. So I have compiled a list of suggestions to help you feel your best, whatever the weather.
Look familiar? Image: Valentin Muller on Unsplash
Brew Monday
I read in the news recently how the Samaritans have come up with an inspired idea for transforming a dull day into a bright, social one. Their Brew Monday campaign hopes to encourage us to use this date to get in touch and have a chat with a cup of tea to hand. Like the Macmillan coffee mornings, it is a good way to support a wonderful charity and if you’d like to take part next year or get suggestions for a meaningful conversation this, here’s the link: https://www.samaritans.org/support-us/campaign/brew-monday/
A comforting cuppa Image: Dayne Topkin on Unsplash
In this link, the Samaritans also offer suggestions on how to develop good listening skills. It is a skill that we do not give sufficient attention to. If you are going to talk to someone who is really feeling down, it might be an idea to check here first. If we are not sensitive to the needs of the speaker, we may make the situation worse rather than better.
When to turn to the professionals
We all want to help a friend in need and often we can, but we should also be aware of our limitations. Sometimes friends and loved ones have problems that are far beyond our expertise. When this is the case, the most help we can provide is in guiding them to someone who is trained to deal with these issues: a bereavement counsellor, their GP or even the Samaritans. We can always offer to accompany them on a visit.
Equally, we need to protect and nourish ourselves. Counsellors have their own counsellors to help them deal with the often distressing information that is shared with them. Give as much as you can, but if it is impacting you negatively, it is time to step back. It is too easy with those we love to both spiral into despair.
Spending time together Image: Jarritos Mexican soda on Unsplash
Practical solutions
Talking is not the only cure for the winter blues: spending time outside and exercising always enhances mood. If you are able to do that in the company of others, even better. Taking the dog to the puppy park each day has been my salvation. It may be freezing, but wrapped up in several layers, the cold can feel invigorating. There are always dogs who fancy a cuddle (including Hermione, who spends quite a lot of time on my lap) and I’m sure the act of stroking soft fur is itself soothing. Folks come and go. Some are regulars, who are becoming friends. Others may only give a cheery wave. In a time when so many of us feel rather isolated, even this modest connection helps.
Should leaving the warmth of the home not appeal, we can keep our spirits up by taking time to be creative in whatever way suits us best. I find having something to show for my day always makes me happy. Today, I baked bread after a few weeks off and was delighted to have something comforting to eat for my lunch and plenty for days to come. I experience a similar joy when I make a card for a friend or complete a small project. Perhaps the rule is to take time to do those things which make you happy, whether they be martial arts training or flower arranging. If we find ourselves too time poor to engage in anything that we love, we should consider a life audit!
Few things beat a homemade loaf Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Embrace the season
This morning I was chatting in the puppy park with someone about the length of days. He said that he hated the short days of winter and longed for summer. I get that, but the shorter days can also be a boon. They give us an opportunity to physically and mentally regroup. Like the trees, which seem dormant throughout winter, we are just gathering our energies for the more active seasons to come.
Parts of Scandinavia are dark almost all day throughout winter. There is no point in fighting it, so they work with it instead. They take up winter sports and bake and make their homes more ‘hygge’. This year, I thought I would adopt some of these ideas and filled the house with twinkly lights and candles, blankets for snuggling under when watching TV and investing in quality knitwear. I make gallons of homemade soup and ‘spoil’ myself with good hot chocolate. All of these make me, and the day, seem brighter.
Of course, I still check the garden for the first signs of spring and look forward to the period when I won’t have to wear quite so many layers. That said, winter is proving to be much less of a burden this year than usual, despite the strange times we live in. I may be looking forward to spring, but for now, winter will do nicely.
What if I told you that there was a way to significantly reduce your carbon footprint, improve your health and advance animal welfare without any real loss to yourself, would you take it? This month, the media is full of stories about the Veganuary Challenge – an annual attempt to encourage folks to adopt a plant-based diet.
While I applaud mainstream media’s support of the challenge; amidst the wonderful and colourful recipes, there is little to explain exactly why a shift to a more plant-based diet is a good idea. I would like to rectify this here. The topic is far too large to tackle in a single post, so I shall include links for you to follow up, should you like to know more.
Well, I had to get your attention somehow Image: Mike Von on Unsplash
The price of meat
Meat is expensive. Yet it does not reflect its true cost in terms of the health of the individual and medical costs. Excessive meat consumption (the average American consumes 124kg per annum) ‘increases risks of heart disease, cancer, kidney disease, osteoporosis and all sorts of other unpleasantness’. (Dave Goulson, The Garden Jungle). Processed meats are also a contributing factor to obesity with all the health complications that brings.
The cost to the planet
These pale into insignificance when balanced against the impact meat production has on the planet. According to an article in Nature, switching to a plant-based diet could more than half our emissions. That is an incredible result for a low-cost solution. In addition, land dedicated to meat production itself affects the Earth negatively.
With two-thirds of farmland devoted to animal pasture and a third of the remaining third to producing feed for those animals, it results in about ’76 per cent of the Earth’s farmland … currently being used for meat production whether directly or indirectly.’ (David Gould)
Why does this matter? For three reasons. Intensive farming methods have a damaging and often irrevocable effect on our soil; depleting its nutrients and destroying the wildlife that ensures its good health. It is the main driver of deforestation: land is cleared for grazing cattle or for growing crops like soya on which livestock feed. Lastly, farm animals like cattle produce large amounts of methane – they suffer from wind – and the manure they produce, if not properly dealt with, can lead to runoff contaminating water supplies.
And for the 750 million humans who cannot obtain sufficient food, it is a terribly imbalanced use of land.
Not all animals are equal
When we work out the ratio of feed to meat produced, chickens come out a firm favourite. It takes a mere 2-3 kg of grain to create 1 kg of meat. A cow, however, will consume a staggering 7-20kg (David Gould). This is a lot of food that might otherwise have been distributed more equitably. So if the thought of giving up meat entirely is too daunting, it might be an idea to shift to more poultry or lamb and if the urge for beef is too strong, go for the grass-fed option.
Happy chickens Image: Thomas Iversen on Unsplash
While David Gouslon recommends the eminently sensible option of eating road kill, I doubt many of us have the stomach or butchery skills to take that up. It is worth considering eating more wild meat like venison, however, as herds are regularly culled to ensure the remainder do not starve. Wild animals, at least, have the pleasure of a good life before they are killed for consumption.
A nation of animal lovers
I live in the UK and we are famously a nation of animal lovers, but our affection, it seems, is restricted to a very limited number of species and particularly those we adopt as pets. When it comes to live-stock, our concerns for animal welfare have a habit of disappearing. That said, our own country’s standards are very high, but much of our meat is imported from other, less scrupulous places.
Intensive or factory farming methods are extremely profitable, but their profits come at the expense of the animals. Even the more animal friendly farms are far from ideal. Since much of this is disturbing and often shocking, I’m not going to write about it here. But if you would like to understand better how your meat is produced, you may like to view some of the documentaries shown on this link https://www.peta.org.uk/blog/vegan-documentaries/
Easily as cute as a puppy Image: Luke Stackpoole
Moving to a plant-based diet
How far you move to a plant-based diet, is of course up to you. You may feel that you cannot manage with meat and I respect that. Though I would ask you to consider taking care to source meat and dairy of the highest standard, preferably organic. Here, the organic label goes with much stricter animal welfare requirements.
If you would like to consider moving towards a vegan-style diet, I would recommend taking it slowly. Our stomachs take a little while to adjust to such changes. Meatless Mondays are a great way to start and gather more days as you become confident in your cooking.
Ten years ago, if you said you were a vegan, people looked at you askance and thought you a little crazy. There were few or no options in the shops and eating out was an impossibility. As a consequence, I confess, I remained a pescatarian – being vegan was just too hard.
Today, things couldn’t be more different. Even our favourite country pub – the bastion of the meat and two veg menu, now has a selection of plant based options. Supermarkets have whole aisles devoted to meat substitutes and plant-based ready meals for those short on time.
Though I still eat some fish, my diet is predominantly plant based. And over the years, I have found substitutes for all the things I loved to eat. There are now non-dairy options for milk, butter, yogurt, cream, ice-cream and even some cheeses with no loss of flavour. Eggs in recipes can be substituted with everything from flax seed to apple puree, so cakes are definitely back on the menu. I have yet to find anything that I cannot make and the chemistry experiment element of it always makes me smile.
No more shades of brown
My first vegetarian cook book was from the famous Cranks restaurant and all the recipes seemed to involve something brown. They were delicious, but visually a little less appealing. Contemporary plant-based cookery books are liable to be a riot of colour – since we now have access to an almost unlimited choice of fruit and vegetables of every hue. We do not need to compromise on taste or presentation if we choose the animal free option.
Anything but dull Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
I hope that this month you will give plant based foods a try. If you need a little help, there are endless recipes available online and I’m including the BBC one here, as they tend to be very reliable. For inspiring ideas for all abilities and budgets, check out: https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/occasions/veganuary Who knows, you may discover a whole new way to cook. And, you will be consuming food that does you good and the planet good too.
Most of us will find ourselves this month looking, like its namesake, Janus, both backwards and forwards. Television shows will highlight the successes and failures of the year; we shall ponder our own highs and lows and as we make resolutions or start filling our pristine diaries, planning or simply hoping for a better future.
2021 was definitely a strange year and the temptation is to see it as one of endless lock-downs, disasters and civil unrest. From a news point of view, it certainly was. From a personal vantage point, it was something else entirely.
Reasons to be thankful
Last year, having received an additional wall calendar, I decided to dedicate it as a gratitude diary. Each day, I would fill in one event or experience that brought me joy. With only a couple of exceptions, I managed to complete something for every entry. I took as my guide Alice Earle’s wise saying that: Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day.
My gratitude diary Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Most of my entries were hardly newsworthy: a coffee with a friend, a trip to a nearby beauty spot, or an act of kindness. Yet, these are the stuff of life. Looking back over the year, I saw that it was filled with moments of joy amidst all the stress and restrictions. It was a good year.
Sustaining hope
For me, knowing that happiness can be found in the most challenging of circumstances gives me not only solace but hope. We need to feed our souls with a belief in the goodness of others and the possibility of positive outcomes, otherwise we will shrivel into despair. The world has never been just nor easy. The most cursory look at history tells us that. Yet it is still a wonderful place. Like Janus again, we can find balance by looking at it both ways and centre ourselves somewhere in the middle. By developing the practice of gratitude, we give ourselves the best defence against life’s ‘slings and arrows’.
This year, I received two wonderful calendars again and I knew exactly what to do with the second. And when this year ends, I shall look forward to reading its entries.
Moominmamma would approve Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Looking forward
Two years ago, when I pondered what 2020 might bring, I did so with great optimism. By February, my diary was packed with planned visits from friends and family, a literary festival in Oxford and my own family’s reunion in the US. Of course, none of those things came to pass. This year, I am a little more circumspect.
And this is the problem with trying to guess the future. We often over-estimate how good or bad it is and forget to focus on the only time that actually counts, which is now.
A cause for celebration Image: Artturi Jalli on Unsplash
Perhaps we should be grateful to our current circumstances for reminding us of this. We literally cannot make plans only tentative goals. Whatever we schedule, we must be willing to change or rearrange or even cancel. This is hard. No-one wishes to be reminded of how slender a grasp one has on one’s life and those prone to be more controlling (as I confess I used to be) find this the hardest of all. We rant, we rage and some even throw tantrums – but it hardly changes anything.
But if we can embrace the current uncertainty as a metaphor for all of life, we can start to enjoy everything that it offers regardless of whether it meets our expectations or not. Of course, we need to make provisional plans for reunions and holidays, but we need not rely on them being fulfilled. There is a place for hope but not, I think, for expectation.
Exchanging expectation for hope
When we expect things to happen: our parcel to arrive the next day, our future vacation to be a success and our plans to go without a hitch, we are tempting fate. We are also likely to be sorely disappointed when things go awry, feeling somehow cheated of our ‘promised joy’.
If, however, we take the more humble approach of simply hoping for a good outcome, our disappointment is likely to be less keen and our ability to recover greater. Hope is a robust thing, as noted in Emily Dickinson’s wonderful poem: ‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers.
“Hope” is the thing with feathers – (314)
“Hope” is the thing with feathers – That perches in the soul – And sings the tune without the words – And never stops – at all –
And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard – And sore must be the storm – That could abash the little Bird That kept so many warm –
I’ve heard it in the chillest land – And on the strangest Sea – Yet – never – in Extremity, It asked a crumb – of me.
Hope is not demanding. It simply continues through times of promise and adversity and ‘never stops – at all -‘ whereas thwarted expectation often ends right there with its accompanying misery.
So, let us hope this new year brings us all that our hearts yearn for, but should it not fulfil our desires, let us remember, with gratitude, all that it has provided.
Since this post will be published on Christmas Eve, I would just like to wish you every happiness tomorrow. The following week is New Year’s and despite the fun squashing presence of the Corona virus, I hope you will be doing your best to celebrate then also. As for me, I’m going to sneak a little break from the blog to enjoy our holidays.
Our celebrations will be in a minor key, but no less harmonious for that. After all the excitement of the build-up to Christmas, it will be rather lovely to enjoy a delicious lunch with my husband and a trip to the park or beach with the dog.
So all that remains is to wish you all a healthy and happy Christmas and a New Year filled with adventures.
A friend once wittily remarked that this year, December has only two weeks and January has six. It certainly feels like it. I’d barely cracked open the first door of my Moomin advent calendar when I felt catapulted into the middle of the month. But, surely, that is the point. By filling our days with decorating, gift-giving and feasting, we are able to take our minds off the icy winds that penetrate even the warmest jumpers and the rain laden clouds that darken even the shortest of days. Through filling our homes with greenery and light and colour, we stave off misery and cold. January only has a brief celebration on the eve of it coming into being and then nothing. No wonder it feels long.
O Christmas tree!
In our family, the Christmas tree goes up on the first weekend of December. It marks the beginning of festivities and serves as a poignant reminder of all those we love who have contributed decorations but who we cannot necessarily see. In the past, this was mainly my husband’s American relatives and my American friend; now it includes our own children who now also live ‘across the pond’.
Our family tree Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Our tree would win no prizes for style; it has no designer elements, just a higgledy-piggledy profusion of ornaments stitched with skill or crafted at Sunday school with glitter and glue. Yet, each one is precious and as we hold the ornament in our hands before placing it on the tree, we reflect on the person who gave it and smile at the memories they invoke. Often, it is a bitter sweet experience. Our children are grown, our days of adventurous travel have ended, but the tree is a symbol of resurrection and new life. So, who knows what the dawning year will bring?
Deck the halls
Before Christmas trees, it was traditional to bring evergreens into the home at the time of the winter solstice. From earliest history, they were seen as harbingers of hope: heralding the sun god’s return and with him the growth of new crops. Others viewed them as protection against evil forces and sickness. (History.com) Evergreens are also associated with eternal life (since, unlike deciduous trees they never ‘die’). For Christians, this marries with the arrival of the Christ child and his promise of immortality.
Though it is not necessary to ascribe our greenery with any greater symbolism than that of Nature’s ability to provide beauty at any time of the year. When I went to pick my greens for the mantle piece this last weekend, the rain was mizzling and the skies a deep grey, but bundled up in coat and scarf, it was a pleasure to pick and snip what I needed, inhaling the clean scent of pine and damp earth beneath my feet.
Bringing in the greens Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Once arranged, the lounge felt lighter and more festive. The centrally heated air took on a fresher perfume. The twin focal points of greenery and fire place served as promises of warmth both now and in the months to come.
Paper play
Christmas always provides the best excuse for paper play. This year, I went into recycling mode and used some sheets from old books I had been given by a local bookshop. I was able to make baubles and pretty ornaments to hang from the window. No doubt, they will be packed away for next year … unless some new design takes my fancy.
When using old books, do keep in mind that really old ones have fragile papers. The ones pictured above held together – just – but I doubt they could manage a lot of handling.
As I ran out of Christmas cards at the eleventh hour, I also took to recycling some old ones into a new design.
Upcycled cards Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
A good scalpel, some origami and a few embellishments brought these old cards to life.
Ornaments
No Christmas is complete without ornaments for the tree or indeed any object that will hold them. To maximise my cards’ usefulness, I made tiny origami angels complete with thread so that once the message was read, they could be attached to the tree.
My little doll looks rather sad in comparison, but since her latest book contains templates and instructions, I shall practice a little more!
First attempt. Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Handmade with love
Conscious as we all are that over-consumption is costly to the planet, I made a decision this year to give only one gift per person and wherever possible, hand made. I started planning in about October, as I’m not as speedy as I’d like to be!
Some of my favourite gifts have been those specific to the holidays. These are things that are brought out year after year and the skill and kindness of the giver remembered each time. Perhaps I could do the same? Working on the principle that everyone can use an extra seasonal something, I decided to make wreaths for those who lived close by and brooches for those that needed posting.
With a little help from YouTube (well, quite a lot actually) I downloaded a poinsettia template and watched the instructions. A trip to Hobbycraft fulfilled the supply side and then all I had to do was make them. The wreaths seemed to need a little extra, so I made some embroidered leaves that I had seen in a magazine. Several weeks later, they were ready to deliver.
Wreath detail Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Since they were assembled using only a little glue from a glue gun, the wreaths can easily be repurposed for other seasons and the brooches are perfect for autumn too.
Looking back, I see that it has been a very creative Christmas season. Sewing, card making, gathering greens and adding decorations has certainly made the time pass pleasantly. Next week, I shall have to focus of wrapping the final presents and before we know it, Christmas will be here.
Flavours of Christmas Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
What is Christmas without the glorious flavours of sugar, spice and exotic dried fruits? Almost all our traditional cakes and treats contain them: marzipan, fruit cake, pies and candies. Yet, the very things that fill our trollies and cupboards at this time of the year, were once the preserve of the seriously rich. We feast like the emperors of old.
Though I knew that sugar and spices were always valuable, I only had the haziest conception of their histories. So I thought a little investigating might be in order. If nothing else, this post might help as a conversation starter over the mince pies.
Sugar
This most ubiquitous of ingredients was once so precious that it was stored in its own safe ( The Sugar Association). Though humans have been chewing sugar cane from earliest times, it was first refined in India around 100AD. Sugar was originally used as a medicine, then as a sweetener.
As it became more widely available, consumption grew exponentially. Unfortunately, this meant that even more slaves, from the Canary Islands to Cuba, were required to grow it. Some of those opposed to slavery boycotted the product, choosing the more ethically sourced maple syrup instead.
A sugar loaf or cone. Little pieces were cut off using a special tool called ‘sugar snips’ right through to the 20th century. Image: By Petr Adam Dohnálek, Wikimedia
With slavery becoming (thankfully) obsolete in the Caribbean in the early 19th century, European producers turned to an alternative source of sweetener in sugar beet. Discovered by Andreas Marggraff in 1747 and made commercially viable by his student, Franz Achard, Europe acquired a sugar it could produce close to home. (Saveur.com)
In the UK, sugar beet is farmed in East Anglia and if you want to know more about its production, here’s the link:https://www.silverspoon.co.uk/field-to-spoonIf you are looking for a fair trade and environmentally sustainable product, sugar derived from sugar beet is it.
Rather ironically, sugar has moved from a sought after medicine to a health hazard. But if we remember its original worth and use it sparingly, we will be able to have our cake and eat it too!
Spice
There are so many essential Christmas spices that it is difficult to choose just one. However, if I could only have a single spice, it would have to be cinnamon. This warm, subtle flavour enriches everything from Christmas cake to mulled wine. Uncooked, the quills make a great decoration – powdered and sprinkled onto food, it adds a certain je ne sais quoi!
Cinnamon is harvested from the bark of the Cinnamomum tree or if you want a more fancy product, from the trunk itself. Sticks of cinnamon add a spicy punch to fruits and beverages, whilst the more economical powder is an essential baking ingredient. Though, as I have just discovered, it is used across the globe in savoury dishes too. Something new to try.
Unlike sugar, cinnamon can be used without a twinge of guilt. Quite the opposite, in fact. Cinnamon is positively medicinal: possessing antimicrobial, antifungal and anti-oxidant qualities. Although, sadly, claims that it helps you lose weight are unsubstantiated (MasterClass).
Spice! Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Cinnamon is produced right across South East Asia with ‘true’ cinnamon coming from Ceylon. Each of the four types of culinary cinnamon available have their own distinctive flavours, so if you really want to know this spice, try each of them and find the one you prefer.
As I was doing a little more research on the topic, I came across a great tip from The Tasting Table. If you want your home to smell extra Christmassy, boil some cinnamon sticks in your kitchen. Personally, I think I would add some apple juice, cloves and star anise. That way I can enjoy both the flavour and the scent.
All things nice …
The final part of the Christmas food triumvirate is dried fruits. Where would our festive cakes be without raisins, sultanas, and currants? (I would add: figs, dates and apricots, but there is only so much one can write about). In warmer climes where grape vines flourish, their fruits have been dried and stored for millennia. Europeans, however, living in the cooler North, had to wait for the returning Crusaders to bring them home. (They also brought sugar from Jerusalem). The Crusades may have been a military catastrophe, but they proved to be a culinary triumph.
Vine fruits – what’s not to love? Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Many people, myself included, are puzzled by the distinction between the three vine fruits, so here’s the explanation.
Raisins are sourced from a variety of grapes. They are dried for around three weeks, in which time they turn a deep, dark brown.
Sultanas come from green seedless grapes, are coated in a drying solution and dried for a shorter time – hence their lighter colour.
Currants are made from small, black , seedless grapes and again dried for three weeks. Of the three, currants tend to pack the most flavour. (Healthline)
Sugar, spice and vine fruits make the most delicious combination. I’ll be planning to introduce them to each other when I make a vegan Christmas cake this weekend. Yes, I know I am rather behind. But a fruit cake, even if it is not ‘well fed’, is still delicious. And if I add to that the knowledge that each and every one of these ingredients would have been prized only a little while ago, I think it will taste even better.
With Christmas rushing towards us like a tornado and the to-do list expanding exponentially, it is tempting to fall into the multi-tasking mode. How else, you ask, are we to get everything done? Well, rather counter intuitively, the best way to get to the end of that list is to take each task one at a time.
When my boys were young, I prided myself on being the queen of multi-tasking: packing lunch boxes, signing forms, making breakfast and entertaining the dog all in the same breath. Time was the enemy that had to be defeated; yet ultimately, the only thing that was defeated was me.
Is that the time already? Image: Sonja Langford on Unsplash
I’d like to say that I’d learned my lesson, but I am still a work in progress. Yesterday, after making pesto, putting the pasta on to boil and making garlic bread to go under the grill, I thought I would squeeze the washing up into the pasta’s cooking time. The faint aroma of charcoal alerted me to the fact the the garlic bread did not need ten minutes (but did need watching!) My sense of smell saved us from disaster, but reminded me once again that doing too many things at the same time often means we do them badly. Worse, we may have to do them all over again or spend time rectifying our errors.
Do I really have to do this?
Media, magazines and talented friends all make us think that our Christmas should be worthy of a Country Living cover. We slave over elaborate meals and table settings, attempt to wrap gifts perfectly and deck our halls with sumptuous greens. In an exquisite magazine a friend just lent me, they suggest adding gold leaf to your cookies (doesn’t everyone?), embroidering your napkins and knitting your own lampshade (!). These all make for stunning illustrations, but when we see too much of these things, we can feel overwhelmed and defeated.
Doesn’t your Christmas look like this? Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Don’t get me wrong. I love these sumptuous Christmas editions and sometimes am even inspired to take on the odd project (well, the simple ones). The problem only arises when we feel that to choose not to do all these things makes us a) an inept parent b) hostess or c)Scrooge.
It is worth remembering that the purpose of all the media excess is to make you buy more. It is certainly not intended to help you have a better Christmas.
It is time to recalibrate.
Making a list, checking it twice
Focusing on a single task while a dozen others swirl through your mind is unlikely to be successful. We need to go back to the good old list and decide what really has to be done. There will be some non-negotiables: food shopping; feeding ourselves and guests; organising gifts and making our homes presentable. Everything else, as they say, is jam.
For the rest, I would advise the Marie Kondo test. Does it bring you joy? If not, ditch it. Loads of people I know do not wish to do cards. They may prefer a phone call or a cheery text or simply greetings face-to-face. (Like so many traditions, this one too had a commercial edge. It was established in the mid 19th century to encourage the public to support the newly formed Post Office.)
With time limited, focus on those things you love and put them at the top of the list. Mine would definitely include making cards, gifts and decorations. These are not chores but pleasures. Making breakfast muffins for Christmas morning would be nice, but I think I’ll put that at the bottom.
A manageable list! Image: Thomas Bormans
Mindful mono-tasking
With a reasonable list made, now is the time for work. Ideally, you want to give ample time for each individual task. This may mean starting earlier than you normally would, but it also means you should be able to enjoy it. Fluster and panic seldom make anything pleasurable.
The greatest paradox that has arisen from my MS and inevitable slowing of my body is this: it is rare that I do not manage to achieve everything I’d planned. Without question, I need to be more organised – and my desk is always littered with to-do lists – but I also find that focusing very carefully on the job in hand allows me to do it more efficiently than I used to.
Which is where the mindfulness comes in. Meditation is a kind of brain training. It involves the repeated practice of disciplining the mind to focus on whatever you are doing – whether that is breathing, invoking loving-kindness or even peeling a vegetable.
And when we bring our whole attention to a task, we do it quickly and well. Even better, it doesn’t feel like work any more -rather something that absorbs our attention. Time slides into a sort of no-time and all sense of urgency is lost and with it any sense of panic.
Trust me. I am no Zen master and often tumble into the turmoil of rush and stress. But those times are fewer and further between, which is a very good thing, as they are the foods this illness feeds upon.
Calm and beautiful! Image: Jessica Delp on Unsplash
Approaching each item on your list with focus and gratitude enables you to have a little extra time to light a candle and contemplate what the season is really about. When you do that, I suspect, you will enjoy it all the more.
