Re-entry

Almost two years on from the beginning of the pandemic, life is returning to normal – at least on paper. England has lifted all legal restrictions relating to Covid and Scotland and Ireland are following, albeit more slowly. It should be a time for celebration. As someone whose life has been extremely restricted for the last two years, these increased freedoms should come as a welcome respite. However, the news fills me with equal quantities of exhilaration and dread.

**Medical illustration of Covid 19** Image: CDC on Unsplash

Desiring to be normal – needing to be safe

Though I welcome the freedoms and societal benefits that will accrue from a more open approach to business and life in general, I am left at something of a loss as to what those of us with underlying health issues are supposed to do. And it all rests on the rather rash suggestion that those testing positive are not required to self-isolate but only advised to do so. The Government clearly has a rather more optimistic view of the public’s sense of civic responsibility than I do – especially when that same Government was unable to discipline itself sufficiently to obey legally binding lock-down rules.

Further, by removing assistance from low income families should they test positive, the Government is de facto expecting infected, low wage workers to return to work and no doubt infect their colleagues. Do these individuals not count? Those in poorly paid employment seldom have the option of working from home that their middle class peers do, so this decision seems divisive in extreme. Add to this the removal of free testing and you have a formula for yet another spike in cases.

The poor, the disabled and the vulnerable, it seems, are expected to take their chances. We can either go back into isolation or risk serious illness. Do we go with the sunk cost theory -I’ve spent two years in isolation and that’s enough- and head out or do we continue until such a time as it seems only a minor risk? This is my conundrum this week and I am tired of constantly assessing the odds.

**To mask or not to mask?** Image: Ani Kolleshi on Unsplash

Who is vulnerable?

The obvious answer to this question is the old, the chronically ill and those at risk from infection. But I would argue that it goes far beyond that. We can be vulnerable economically too. When I was speaking to my hairdresser this week, I asked her opinion on the new policy and whether they would continue to ask customers to wear masks. She said, ‘Yes. We are all self-employed. And if we get sick, we lose two weeks’ pay.’ So far, her customers have all been more than amenable, but I hope that this will continue into the future.

Mental health over physical health

Anxiety arising from the risk of infection has not been the only issue these last couple of years. Anxiety on re-entering society after a prolonged period of isolation is equally impactful. There is a reason that the harshest punishment given to prisoners is a spell in solitary. It has the unfortunate effect of driving you crazy.

**Relaxing with friends is a vital part of our good mental health** Image: Elevate on Unsplash

Getting Hermione has been a life-saver on this front. Every day, I must go out to the park for her to exercise (and often twice). Here I meet friendly faces, have social interactions, and keep up my driving skills. In wide open spaces, there are no risks involved, so I get to enjoy a social life in absolute safety. During lock-down, I had my husband’s company and plenty of communication with friends via social media. But, my life-style is not usual and I feel very concerned for those who, having sacrificed their freedoms for so long, are not going to feel safe going out even now. Many, many healthy people have suffered mentally as a consequence of the pandemic. I cannot imagine how much worse this will be for those already struggling with fragile health.

Stepping out

With the Office of National Statistics estimating that one in twenty people have Covid at the moment, I shan’t be heading to any busy social venues soon. I shall, however, be increasing my trips to the shops and less densely populated areas. In a few weeks, as the worst part of the flu season comes to an end, I plan to resume visiting friends at home. Trips to cafes and restaurants will probably continue to be outside for a little longer.

In the end, it will be an act of faith. For any kind of normal life to happen for the vulnerable, we rely on the good sense and consideration of the healthy. The law may not require you to self-isolate when testing positive; the law may not require you to wear masks and no one will force you to stay at home if you feel unwell. However, such small sacrifices will open the world to freedoms that we have missed for far too long.

Love is…

When I was young, there was an adorable cartoon strip called Love is… Each image was accompanied by a definition of love. The series began, romantically enough, as notes between Kim Casali, nee Grove, and her future husband. But love, for me, is far more than romantic gestures (wonderful though they are). Love is found between couples, families, friends and strangers, pets and our relationship with the planet. So, with Valentine’s fresh in our minds this week, I’d like to propose my own list of what love is and I hope that you will add to it in the comments’ section.

Love is… sharing laughter with good friends
Love is… enjoying each others’ company with or without words
Love is… the energy of the Universe
Love is… a kind word
Love is… a child giving you their hand
Love is… bringing someone the perfect cup of tea when they are too tired to move
Love is… waiting at the window for you to come home

**Doggy love**! Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Love is… loving you just as you are
Love is… always being ready to say sorry
Love is… donating the gift of time
Love is… having your best interests at heart
Love is… honouring the Earth
Love is… a warm hug!
Love is… the greatest present we can give ourselves

**Love lifts you up** Image: Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Of course, no one can surpass St Paul’s list of love’s attributes in Corinthians 1 13:4-8 beginning, ‘Love is patient, love is kind’. I have a section of it in beautiful calligraphy on my kitchen shelf. It serves as a reminder when I am feeling less charitable.

Happiness is the by-product of love

This morning, as I took Hermione to her grooming session, I passed a couple of street pastors who had been singing and playing guitar on the wide pavement. They stopped to pat the dog and say hi and I went on my way. After dropping Hermione off, I spoke to them again and thanked them for bringing a little music to the street. They did not proselytise, but explained they were there to bring a little friendliness and joy at a time when so many were struggling. Thinking about it, I realised that they were the embodiment of love in action- giving their time and good cheer freely. And I thought how such acts of love bring happiness and how happiness is always a by-product of love. There is so much in print about happiness and how to achieve it, when it can be summed up in a few words. Want more happiness? Share more love.

Hold On. It’s Almost Here

Just when you think that winter will never relinquish its icy grip, along comes February with its rapidly lengthening days and exuberant spring flowers. Despite being a short month, it is filled with celebrations: Chinese New Year, Candlemas, Valentine’s and later the carnival season. But the one that best captures this pivotal point between the seasons is the lesser known Imbolc.

**Tiny harbingers** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Imbolc

I had never heard of it before my lovely art teacher wished me a happy one. My curiosity peeked, I had to look it up and discovered that if there were possible to have a festival tailored to one’s passions, this was it. Imbolc is a celebration of all things natural with a little culture thrown in for good measure.

Traditionally celebrated by the Celts (Irish and Scots) it was a pagan holiday that started on sundown of Feb 1 and ended 24 hours later. This date marks the half-way point between the winter and spring equinox. From here, though winter may still demonstrate its power with late snow and bitter frosts, the world is turning towards the sun and winter’s reign is reaching its conclusion.

**Vibrant narcissus**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

In pre-Christian times, it celebrated the goddess Brigid ‘who was evoked in fertility rites and oversaw poetry, crafts and prophesy.’ (History.com) And she was later absorbed into the Catholic canon as St Brigid, where she continued her patronage of culture, healing and husbandry.

Modern pagans use the date as an opportunity to celebrate the newly waking natural world and culture. As the landscape becomes stippled with the yellows, whites and pinks of spring, it would be churlish not to join them in observing this annual miracle.

**Delicate paper whites in their spring colours**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Having admired the blooms and spears of green in my garden, I plan to spend the evening with some poetry. Crafts are always on my to-do list. With Brigid in mind, despite the single figure temperatures of today, I predict that spring will be upon us in no time at all.

And So to Bed…

As every parent of young children knows, sleep is the most precious of commodities. Were it to be floated on the exchange, its price would exceed all others. The subject is at the forefront of my mind at the moment. Skyping my brother-in-law and daughter-in-law this weekend (both of whom have tiny tots) highlighted the toll that sleepless nights bring. Indeed, considering the levels of sleep deprivation they go through, I am impressed that they are functioning at all, let alone successful professionals.

Sleep has so many necessary functions: from giving your body the opportunity to rest and repair to ensuring good mental health. Yet, too many of us suffer from poor sleep – as many as two-thirds of the population in the UK.

Sleep is crucial to our wellbeing, so if you don’t sleep properly, here are some ideas to improve your nights.

**Sleep, glorious sleep!** Image: Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash

Early to bed, early to rise

Actually, it is not essential to go to bed early to get a good night’s rest. If you are a night owl, who will simply fidget till midnight, going to bed when you are tired is more sensible. That said, almost all experts agree that earlier is better. Though what is really crucial is establishing a regular routine. Why? Because, ‘keeping a regular sleep schedule—even on weekends—maintains the timing of the body’s internal clock and can help you fall asleep and wake up more easily.’ (Harvard Medical School)

The hardest part of this for me is disciplining myself to get up on the weekend when a lie-in seems so appealing. In another article I read, it suggested adding no more than one hour to your normal wake-up time on days off. Our bodies, sadly, do not know the days of the week and if we extend our sleeping one day and not the next, we are simply deregulating the very clock we depend on for contented slumbers.

Making the bedroom a sanctuary

Perhaps the hardest thing for people during lock-down has been the invasion of work into the home and even the bedroom. If there is no other option than to work from there, where possible keep all your work and equipment in a contained space and ideally out of sight at night. This way you can avoid the siren call of answering just one more email.

Bedrooms are where we go to escape the cares of the day. If we fill them with distractions, they are unlikely to prove restful. Ideally, a bedroom should be clutter free and certainly free from electronic devices such as televisions and laptops. And phones. Definitely phones.

**Simple and restful** Image: Photo by Beazy on Unsplash

There are a number of reasons why looking at your phone at night is problematic: the blue light inhibits melatonin production and damages the eyes; stimulates you just at the time you need to wind down; causes non-restorative sleep that means you wake feeling tired and can have serious implications for your physical and mental health. For a complete discussion of this topic, please read: https://www.nestandglow.com/life/phone-bedroom

Experts recommend looking at your phone no earlier than 30-60 minutes before bed and keeping it in another room from the one where you sleep. I confess that I do take my phone to bed as an alarm and though I seldom consult it for more than a few minutes, having considered the above, I’ve just ordered an alarm clock!

Keeping your bedroom tidy; making your bed in the morning with lovely linens; decorating in calming colours and adding the odd plant to improve air quality should make your room the sanctuary that it is meant to be.

Book at bedtime

There are few things more delightful than dozing off after reading a book. Better still, have someone to read aloud to you. A story at night (though perhaps not a good thriller) is a great way to bridge the world of reality and the world of dreams.

**Everything you need at the bedside** Image: Annie Spratt on Unsplash

All books are not equal, however. E-books in general carry the same problems as phones and televisions. A study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences showed that subjects reading from e-readers suffered from a reduction of melatonin and poor quality of sleep. Though it is convenient to use one of these devices when your sleeping partner is dozing off, it may be better to invest in a paperback and a book light.

Interrupted sleep

Far too many people suffer from interrupted sleep or insomnia and few of us will be spared from the odd bout of either. Life is full of stresses and disagreeable surprises, which almost always impact our sleep. Unpleasant though it is at the time, most of us will recover. Others, however, end up on a spiral of inadequate sleep that becomes part of their everyday lives. Knowing how damaging this is, we would be wise to find ways to avoid it happening to us.

**That dreaded time when you are wide awake at night** Image: Alexandra Gorn

Some of the ways to improve sleep are fairly straight-forward, though not necessarily easy to implement if they are part of your habits.

Avoid stimulants – anything containing caffeine, alcohol and even exercise work as stimulants. Where possible, keep them for earlier in the day.
Keep your cool – most of us sleep better in a room that is a little cooler. Turn the heating down or off before you go to bed.
Reduce the amount you drink, or stop drinking altogether in the hours before bedtime. No-one like to get up in the night to go to the toilet! Contrariwise, if you have a cast-iron bladder and want to get up early, drink a glass or two of water before bedtime. Your bladder will serve as an excellent alarm!
Keep active – the more tired you are, the better you are likely to sleep. If you wish to exercise before bed, stick to something calm like stretching and yoga.
Get outside – Increasing your exposure to natural light will help you sleep better at night.
Stress and anxiety are probably the greatest enemies of a good night’s rest. Strategies such as meditation, yoga, talking therapies and cold immersion can all help here.

Non-restorative sleep

Unfortunately, despite trying all of the above, the blissful benefits of restorative sleep may not be available to you. Those with neurological conditions often suffer from poor sleep as a result of pain and symptoms that occur at night. My new magic medicine has helped with these, but still I wake feeling that I have barely gone to bed. It is possible, even likely, that neurological damage is causing this. As a result, scheduling activities with gaps between and regular rest periods are still required.

And if your sleep is interrupted for another reason, be gentle on yourself. Sometimes life hands us more than we are able to cope with.

As always, I’m optimistic and before I go to bed each night, I recite my little mantra: I will rest well. I will sleep deeply. I will awaken refreshed. Haven’t quite managed it yet, but I’ll keep trying.

Befriending your Fears

Call it synchronicity or call it fate, but this week my reading, conversations and viewing have all reinforced the idea of embracing fear, or as Susan Jeffers put it, to ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’. It started with a great book: OK, Let’s Do Your Stupid Idea. Freyne’s memoir contains a great many stupid ideas that he and his companions acted upon, but crazy though most of them were, one could not help but think that they were part of a life that was lived.

Most of us, in pursuing a more sensible and safe path, often wonder if it is living at all. Though I would not recommend some of Freyne’s more reckless adventures, there is a balance to be struck between allowing our fears to narrow our lives and finding the liberation in overcoming them.

The logic of fear

There is a reason that we feel fear. It is one of our best defences against injury and death. Fear may arise from a direct experience or, as explained by Elizabeth Phelps, through ‘social interaction’. https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/learning-to-fear Our fear response is likely to be equal regardless of whether it is learned as a result of our own experience or from others.

What is interesting here is that we can acquire fears without questioning whether they are well founded or not. Take snakes, for example. Most snakes in Europe are neither venomous nor dangerous to people, yet I confess to being afraid of all of them. Since I an unable to distinguish between the dangerous and benign ones, this is probably a valid position. (In case you ever need to know, venomous snakes tend to have triangular heads and non-venomous round.)

**Even looking at this makes me queasy!** Image: Alfonso Castro on Unsplash

As an adult, I’m embarrassed to say, I was terrified of talking to official people on the phone. This is something that I learned from my mother. I understand why. While a mother at home with young children, one seldom interacts with anyone more demanding than the postman and it is easy to lose confidence. Unfortunately, official people still need to be spoken to and my husband, never one to shilly-shally, decided that exposure therapy was the way to go.

Facing our fears

So, every time a query needed to be made about the gas bill or the car’s MOT came due, guess who had to make the call? I squirmed and tried to get out of it to no avail. The call was made. No-one died and now, I am happy to talk to anyone.

Certain, deep rooted fears need to be tackled sensitively and slowly. Throwing someone afraid of water into the deep end of a swimming pool is unlikely to work, whereas getting them to join you in a paddling pool on a hot day might start them in the right direction. If it is a true phobia, untangling the source of the fear may also be necessary – sometimes with the help of a good therapist.

Doing it anyway

For most of us though, simply surviving a situation that triggers a fear response can give us the courage to overcome it. Though not claustrophobic, I am not a fan of small, enclosed spaces. When my younger son and husband disappeared down the ‘key hole’ on a caving expedition in Africa, I was given the option of joining them or waiting above with my other son until they returned. The latter seemed much worse and my reluctant older son felt the same way. We went ahead. Let’s say, calling the trip ‘caving’ was a little misleading. This was full-on potholing. There were bats and climbs and commando crawling through the mountain’s granite intestines. At one point, my battery pack caused me to get stuck. The shrill screams of my youngest (who had managed to get dust in his eyes) somehow dislodged me and gave me sufficient adrenaline to finish the course.

**Not me, but you get the picture** Image: Jason Gardner on Unsplash

Upon reaching daylight, I have never felt so exhilarated. My eldest declared he was no longer claustrophobic and I wondered in that moment if I had become more so! Though having had time to recover, few small, enclosed spaces fill me with dread. Which is good, because yesterday, I spent the better part of an hour in an MRI scanner.

In one episode of the wonderful series, Magic for Humans, magician Justin Willman talks of a recurring nightmare of turning up to perform and discovering he is naked. The cure? He takes a show to a nudist camp. There are ways, it seems, of overcoming even the most outlandish fears safely.

Fear of failure

If there was one fear that causes more pain and suffering and diminishment of life, it is surely this one. Over decades of teaching, my goal, above all others, is to give my pupils confidence in themselves and their abilities. Without it, students panic, lose focus and sometimes even fail exams they are more than qualified to succeed in. Fear of failure in life is costly.

There are ways to allay our fears, of course. Preparation is often our best ally -after all, we have practised the task many times. Quieting our minds is another. I was most impressed by my young student whose ‘meditation practice’ before exams is to breathe whilst counting backwards from 1,000 in sevens. (He’s a maths boffin.) He knows from experience that when he is overcome with anxiety, his mind fizzles into confusion – muddling his answers. So now, when he feels that rising dread, he has a system that works for him.

A third technique, is to reduce the pressure of expectation. When we write with the goal of being a prize winning author, or paint with the quality of one of the masters as our aim, we are likely to be disappointed. If we do it with the pleasure of the activity in mind and an open view of what might result, we can enjoy the process and perhaps initiate something good.

**Just playing!**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

My friend was given an art journal. She was instructed to play and explore and give no mind to the result. For those of us working in creative realms, the blank page can feel like the enemy. Taking away any sense of expectation allows us to be more creative not less. The giver of the journal refers to this form of art as ‘playing with colour’. I love that.

Fear of failure, fear of shame

The most stifling and life-diminishing fear of all is that of failure resulting in shame. If we are not careful, it can thwart our lives entirely, preventing us from trying again or even trying at all. Brene Brown has researched, written and talked about this subject extensively and it is far too large a subject to discuss in a paragraph. To give you a taster, here is her TED Talk on Vulnerability.

Not such a stupid idea

Without advocating a reckless disregard for your safety, I would certainly encourage you to take some risks. They may work out; they may not. What of it? When we push our boundaries, we grow. And our failures are often our most helpful training tool. Try to take on something you fear this week – you may find that fear is your friend after all.

I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues

Ceaseless rain, freezing temperatures, days that seem to end before they have begun. Is it any wonder then that January, following so close on the heals of the sparkling festive season, often leaves us feeling down? The third Monday in January (the 17th this year) is often referred to as Blue Monday. We may have passed that date, but I think all of us need a little lift during the final weeks of winter. So I have compiled a list of suggestions to help you feel your best, whatever the weather.

**Look familiar?** Image: Valentin Muller on Unsplash

Brew Monday

I read in the news recently how the Samaritans have come up with an inspired idea for transforming a dull day into a bright, social one. Their Brew Monday campaign hopes to encourage us to use this date to get in touch and have a chat with a cup of tea to hand. Like the Macmillan coffee mornings, it is a good way to support a wonderful charity and if you’d like to take part next year or get suggestions for a meaningful conversation this, here’s the link: https://www.samaritans.org/support-us/campaign/brew-monday/

**A comforting cuppa** Image: Dayne Topkin on Unsplash

In this link, the Samaritans also offer suggestions on how to develop good listening skills. It is a skill that we do not give sufficient attention to. If you are going to talk to someone who is really feeling down, it might be an idea to check here first. If we are not sensitive to the needs of the speaker, we may make the situation worse rather than better.

When to turn to the professionals

We all want to help a friend in need and often we can, but we should also be aware of our limitations. Sometimes friends and loved ones have problems that are far beyond our expertise. When this is the case, the most help we can provide is in guiding them to someone who is trained to deal with these issues: a bereavement counsellor, their GP or even the Samaritans. We can always offer to accompany them on a visit.

Equally, we need to protect and nourish ourselves. Counsellors have their own counsellors to help them deal with the often distressing information that is shared with them. Give as much as you can, but if it is impacting you negatively, it is time to step back. It is too easy with those we love to both spiral into despair.

**Spending time together** Image: Jarritos Mexican soda on Unsplash

Practical solutions

Talking is not the only cure for the winter blues: spending time outside and exercising always enhances mood. If you are able to do that in the company of others, even better. Taking the dog to the puppy park each day has been my salvation. It may be freezing, but wrapped up in several layers, the cold can feel invigorating. There are always dogs who fancy a cuddle (including Hermione, who spends quite a lot of time on my lap) and I’m sure the act of stroking soft fur is itself soothing. Folks come and go. Some are regulars, who are becoming friends. Others may only give a cheery wave. In a time when so many of us feel rather isolated, even this modest connection helps.

Should leaving the warmth of the home not appeal, we can keep our spirits up by taking time to be creative in whatever way suits us best. I find having something to show for my day always makes me happy. Today, I baked bread after a few weeks off and was delighted to have something comforting to eat for my lunch and plenty for days to come. I experience a similar joy when I make a card for a friend or complete a small project. Perhaps the rule is to take time to do those things which make you happy, whether they be martial arts training or flower arranging. If we find ourselves too time poor to engage in anything that we love, we should consider a life audit!

**Few things beat a homemade loaf**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Embrace the season

This morning I was chatting in the puppy park with someone about the length of days. He said that he hated the short days of winter and longed for summer. I get that, but the shorter days can also be a boon. They give us an opportunity to physically and mentally regroup. Like the trees, which seem dormant throughout winter, we are just gathering our energies for the more active seasons to come.

Parts of Scandinavia are dark almost all day throughout winter. There is no point in fighting it, so they work with it instead. They take up winter sports and bake and make their homes more ‘hygge’. This year, I thought I would adopt some of these ideas and filled the house with twinkly lights and candles, blankets for snuggling under when watching TV and investing in quality knitwear. I make gallons of homemade soup and ‘spoil’ myself with good hot chocolate. All of these make me, and the day, seem brighter.

Of course, I still check the garden for the first signs of spring and look forward to the period when I won’t have to wear quite so many layers. That said, winter is proving to be much less of a burden this year than usual, despite the strange times we live in. I may be looking forward to spring, but for now, winter will do nicely.

A Delicious Way to Save the Planet

What if I told you that there was a way to significantly reduce your carbon footprint, improve your health and advance animal welfare without any real loss to yourself, would you take it? This month, the media is full of stories about the Veganuary Challenge – an annual attempt to encourage folks to adopt a plant-based diet.

While I applaud mainstream media’s support of the challenge; amidst the wonderful and colourful recipes, there is little to explain exactly why a shift to a more plant-based diet is a good idea. I would like to rectify this here. The topic is far too large to tackle in a single post, so I shall include links for you to follow up, should you like to know more.

**Well, I had to get your attention somehow** Image: Mike Von on Unsplash

The price of meat

Meat is expensive. Yet it does not reflect its true cost in terms of the health of the individual and medical costs. Excessive meat consumption (the average American consumes 124kg per annum) ‘increases risks of heart disease, cancer, kidney disease, osteoporosis and all sorts of other unpleasantness’. (Dave Goulson, The Garden Jungle). Processed meats are also a contributing factor to obesity with all the health complications that brings.

The cost to the planet

These pale into insignificance when balanced against the impact meat production has on the planet. According to an article in Nature, switching to a plant-based diet could more than half our emissions. That is an incredible result for a low-cost solution. In addition, land dedicated to meat production itself affects the Earth negatively.

With two-thirds of farmland devoted to animal pasture and a third of the remaining third to producing feed for those animals, it results in about ’76 per cent of the Earth’s farmland … currently being used for meat production whether directly or indirectly.’ (David Gould)

Why does this matter? For three reasons. Intensive farming methods have a damaging and often irrevocable effect on our soil; depleting its nutrients and destroying the wildlife that ensures its good health. It is the main driver of deforestation: land is cleared for grazing cattle or for growing crops like soya on which livestock feed. Lastly, farm animals like cattle produce large amounts of methane – they suffer from wind – and the manure they produce, if not properly dealt with, can lead to runoff contaminating water supplies.

And for the 750 million humans who cannot obtain sufficient food, it is a terribly imbalanced use of land.

Not all animals are equal

When we work out the ratio of feed to meat produced, chickens come out a firm favourite. It takes a mere 2-3 kg of grain to create 1 kg of meat. A cow, however, will consume a staggering 7-20kg (David Gould). This is a lot of food that might otherwise have been distributed more equitably. So if the thought of giving up meat entirely is too daunting, it might be an idea to shift to more poultry or lamb and if the urge for beef is too strong, go for the grass-fed option.

**Happy chickens** Image: Thomas Iversen on Unsplash

While David Gouslon recommends the eminently sensible option of eating road kill, I doubt many of us have the stomach or butchery skills to take that up. It is worth considering eating more wild meat like venison, however, as herds are regularly culled to ensure the remainder do not starve. Wild animals, at least, have the pleasure of a good life before they are killed for consumption.

A nation of animal lovers

I live in the UK and we are famously a nation of animal lovers, but our affection, it seems, is restricted to a very limited number of species and particularly those we adopt as pets. When it comes to live-stock, our concerns for animal welfare have a habit of disappearing. That said, our own country’s standards are very high, but much of our meat is imported from other, less scrupulous places.

Intensive or factory farming methods are extremely profitable, but their profits come at the expense of the animals. Even the more animal friendly farms are far from ideal. Since much of this is disturbing and often shocking, I’m not going to write about it here. But if you would like to understand better how your meat is produced, you may like to view some of the documentaries shown on this link https://www.peta.org.uk/blog/vegan-documentaries/

**Easily as cute as a puppy** Image: Luke Stackpoole

Moving to a plant-based diet

How far you move to a plant-based diet, is of course up to you. You may feel that you cannot manage with meat and I respect that. Though I would ask you to consider taking care to source meat and dairy of the highest standard, preferably organic. Here, the organic label goes with much stricter animal welfare requirements.

If you would like to consider moving towards a vegan-style diet, I would recommend taking it slowly. Our stomachs take a little while to adjust to such changes. Meatless Mondays are a great way to start and gather more days as you become confident in your cooking.

Ten years ago, if you said you were a vegan, people looked at you askance and thought you a little crazy. There were few or no options in the shops and eating out was an impossibility. As a consequence, I confess, I remained a pescatarian – being vegan was just too hard.

Today, things couldn’t be more different. Even our favourite country pub – the bastion of the meat and two veg menu, now has a selection of plant based options. Supermarkets have whole aisles devoted to meat substitutes and plant-based ready meals for those short on time.

Though I still eat some fish, my diet is predominantly plant based. And over the years, I have found substitutes for all the things I loved to eat. There are now non-dairy options for milk, butter, yogurt, cream, ice-cream and even some cheeses with no loss of flavour. Eggs in recipes can be substituted with everything from flax seed to apple puree, so cakes are definitely back on the menu. I have yet to find anything that I cannot make and the chemistry experiment element of it always makes me smile.

No more shades of brown

My first vegetarian cook book was from the famous Cranks restaurant and all the recipes seemed to involve something brown. They were delicious, but visually a little less appealing. Contemporary plant-based cookery books are liable to be a riot of colour – since we now have access to an almost unlimited choice of fruit and vegetables of every hue. We do not need to compromise on taste or presentation if we choose the animal free option.

**Anything but dull**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

I hope that this month you will give plant based foods a try. If you need a little help, there are endless recipes available online and I’m including the BBC one here, as they tend to be very reliable. For inspiring ideas for all abilities and budgets, check out: https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/occasions/veganuary Who knows, you may discover a whole new way to cook. And, you will be consuming food that does you good and the planet good too.

Look Both Ways Before You Start the Year.

Most of us will find ourselves this month looking, like its namesake, Janus, both backwards and forwards. Television shows will highlight the successes and failures of the year; we shall ponder our own highs and lows and as we make resolutions or start filling our pristine diaries, planning or simply hoping for a better future.

2021 was definitely a strange year and the temptation is to see it as one of endless lock-downs, disasters and civil unrest. From a news point of view, it certainly was. From a personal vantage point, it was something else entirely.

Reasons to be thankful

Last year, having received an additional wall calendar, I decided to dedicate it as a gratitude diary. Each day, I would fill in one event or experience that brought me joy. With only a couple of exceptions, I managed to complete something for every entry. I took as my guide Alice Earle’s wise saying that: Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day.

**My gratitude diary**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Most of my entries were hardly newsworthy: a coffee with a friend, a trip to a nearby beauty spot, or an act of kindness. Yet, these are the stuff of life. Looking back over the year, I saw that it was filled with moments of joy amidst all the stress and restrictions. It was a good year.

Sustaining hope

For me, knowing that happiness can be found in the most challenging of circumstances gives me not only solace but hope. We need to feed our souls with a belief in the goodness of others and the possibility of positive outcomes, otherwise we will shrivel into despair. The world has never been just nor easy. The most cursory look at history tells us that. Yet it is still a wonderful place. Like Janus again, we can find balance by looking at it both ways and centre ourselves somewhere in the middle. By developing the practice of gratitude, we give ourselves the best defence against life’s ‘slings and arrows’.

This year, I received two wonderful calendars again and I knew exactly what to do with the second. And when this year ends, I shall look forward to reading its entries.

**Moominmamma would approve**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Looking forward

Two years ago, when I pondered what 2020 might bring, I did so with great optimism. By February, my diary was packed with planned visits from friends and family, a literary festival in Oxford and my own family’s reunion in the US. Of course, none of those things came to pass. This year, I am a little more circumspect.

And this is the problem with trying to guess the future. We often over-estimate how good or bad it is and forget to focus on the only time that actually counts, which is now.

**A cause for celebration** Image: Artturi Jalli on Unsplash

Perhaps we should be grateful to our current circumstances for reminding us of this. We literally cannot make plans only tentative goals. Whatever we schedule, we must be willing to change or rearrange or even cancel. This is hard. No-one wishes to be reminded of how slender a grasp one has on one’s life and those prone to be more controlling (as I confess I used to be) find this the hardest of all. We rant, we rage and some even throw tantrums – but it hardly changes anything.

But if we can embrace the current uncertainty as a metaphor for all of life, we can start to enjoy everything that it offers regardless of whether it meets our expectations or not. Of course, we need to make provisional plans for reunions and holidays, but we need not rely on them being fulfilled. There is a place for hope but not, I think, for expectation.

Exchanging expectation for hope

When we expect things to happen: our parcel to arrive the next day, our future vacation to be a success and our plans to go without a hitch, we are tempting fate. We are also likely to be sorely disappointed when things go awry, feeling somehow cheated of our ‘promised joy’.

If, however, we take the more humble approach of simply hoping for a good outcome, our disappointment is likely to be less keen and our ability to recover greater. Hope is a robust thing, as noted in Emily Dickinson’s wonderful poem: ‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers – (314)

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all –

And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard –
And sore must be the storm –
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm –

I’ve heard it in the chillest land –
And on the strangest Sea –
Yet – never – in Extremity,
It asked a crumb – of me.

Hope is not demanding. It simply continues through times of promise and adversity and ‘never stops – at all -‘ whereas thwarted expectation often ends right there with its accompanying misery.

So, let us hope this new year brings us all that our hearts yearn for, but should it not fulfil our desires, let us remember, with gratitude, all that it has provided.

Let the Holidays Begin!

Since this post will be published on Christmas Eve, I would just like to wish you every happiness tomorrow. The following week is New Year’s and despite the fun squashing presence of the Corona virus, I hope you will be doing your best to celebrate then also. As for me, I’m going to sneak a little break from the blog to enjoy our holidays.

Our celebrations will be in a minor key, but no less harmonious for that. After all the excitement of the build-up to Christmas, it will be rather lovely to enjoy a delicious lunch with my husband and a trip to the park or beach with the dog.

So all that remains is to wish you all a healthy and happy Christmas and a New Year filled with adventures.

I hope you will join me again in 2022.

Much love, Karen

**Decking the halls** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like … Well, You Know What.

**Christmas greenery** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

A friend once wittily remarked that this year, December has only two weeks and January has six. It certainly feels like it. I’d barely cracked open the first door of my Moomin advent calendar when I felt catapulted into the middle of the month. But, surely, that is the point. By filling our days with decorating, gift-giving and feasting, we are able to take our minds off the icy winds that penetrate even the warmest jumpers and the rain laden clouds that darken even the shortest of days. Through filling our homes with greenery and light and colour, we stave off misery and cold. January only has a brief celebration on the eve of it coming into being and then nothing. No wonder it feels long.

O Christmas tree!

In our family, the Christmas tree goes up on the first weekend of December. It marks the beginning of festivities and serves as a poignant reminder of all those we love who have contributed decorations but who we cannot necessarily see. In the past, this was mainly my husband’s American relatives and my American friend; now it includes our own children who now also live ‘across the pond’.

**Our family tree** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Our tree would win no prizes for style; it has no designer elements, just a higgledy-piggledy profusion of ornaments stitched with skill or crafted at Sunday school with glitter and glue. Yet, each one is precious and as we hold the ornament in our hands before placing it on the tree, we reflect on the person who gave it and smile at the memories they invoke. Often, it is a bitter sweet experience. Our children are grown, our days of adventurous travel have ended, but the tree is a symbol of resurrection and new life. So, who knows what the dawning year will bring?

Deck the halls

Before Christmas trees, it was traditional to bring evergreens into the home at the time of the winter solstice. From earliest history, they were seen as harbingers of hope: heralding the sun god’s return and with him the growth of new crops. Others viewed them as protection against evil forces and sickness. (History.com) Evergreens are also associated with eternal life (since, unlike deciduous trees they never ‘die’). For Christians, this marries with the arrival of the Christ child and his promise of immortality.

Though it is not necessary to ascribe our greenery with any greater symbolism than that of Nature’s ability to provide beauty at any time of the year. When I went to pick my greens for the mantle piece this last weekend, the rain was mizzling and the skies a deep grey, but bundled up in coat and scarf, it was a pleasure to pick and snip what I needed, inhaling the clean scent of pine and damp earth beneath my feet.

**Bringing in the greens**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Once arranged, the lounge felt lighter and more festive. The centrally heated air took on a fresher perfume. The twin focal points of greenery and fire place served as promises of warmth both now and in the months to come.

Paper play

Christmas always provides the best excuse for paper play. This year, I went into recycling mode and used some sheets from old books I had been given by a local bookshop. I was able to make baubles and pretty ornaments to hang from the window. No doubt, they will be packed away for next year … unless some new design takes my fancy.

**Literary decorations!** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

When using old books, do keep in mind that really old ones have fragile papers. The ones pictured above held together – just – but I doubt they could manage a lot of handling.

As I ran out of Christmas cards at the eleventh hour, I also took to recycling some old ones into a new design.

**Upcycled cards**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

A good scalpel, some origami and a few embellishments brought these old cards to life.

Ornaments

No Christmas is complete without ornaments for the tree or indeed any object that will hold them. To maximise my cards’ usefulness, I made tiny origami angels complete with thread so that once the message was read, they could be attached to the tree.

With a little help from the inimitable Su Blackwell, I even made a teeny paper doll for my ‘pear tree’. It was a privilege to meet this astonishingly talented paper artist and if you have a moment, you may like to look at this link to see how transforming books into art is really done. https://www.boredpanda.com/illuminated-book-sculpture-su-blackwell/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

My little doll looks rather sad in comparison, but since her latest book contains templates and instructions, I shall practice a little more!

**First attempt.** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Handmade with love

Conscious as we all are that over-consumption is costly to the planet, I made a decision this year to give only one gift per person and wherever possible, hand made. I started planning in about October, as I’m not as speedy as I’d like to be!

Some of my favourite gifts have been those specific to the holidays. These are things that are brought out year after year and the skill and kindness of the giver remembered each time. Perhaps I could do the same? Working on the principle that everyone can use an extra seasonal something, I decided to make wreaths for those who lived close by and brooches for those that needed posting.

With a little help from YouTube (well, quite a lot actually) I downloaded a poinsettia template and watched the instructions. A trip to Hobbycraft fulfilled the supply side and then all I had to do was make them. The wreaths seemed to need a little extra, so I made some embroidered leaves that I had seen in a magazine. Several weeks later, they were ready to deliver.

**Wreath detail** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Since they were assembled using only a little glue from a glue gun, the wreaths can easily be repurposed for other seasons and the brooches are perfect for autumn too.

Looking back, I see that it has been a very creative Christmas season. Sewing, card making, gathering greens and adding decorations has certainly made the time pass pleasantly. Next week, I shall have to focus of wrapping the final presents and before we know it, Christmas will be here.

And then, I shall have to think about cooking…