Easter – When Life Gives You Lemons

Seeking Guidance

We all need guidance sometimes, whether it is for a life-changing decision like retirement or how to negotiate a difficult situation. Where we go for such guidance will vary from seeking professional advice to asking a friend. But what about all those little decisions in between or ones we’re not even sure how to ask for?

Some of you will remember that I’ve written about Julia Cameron’s seminal text The Artist’s Way before. So when I felt I needed a little more instruction on pursuing a more creative life, who better to turn to than the same author? Her latest book, Living the Artist’s Way differs from the first in that its focus is the spiritual. It is another interactive book, requiring the reader to pursue their own answers and what I love about it is the fact that while remaining devotional at heart, she never veers into dogmatism or preaching. She, like me, believes that we must each find a path that we are comfortable with.

**Where it all started**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

The Four Pillars

For Cameron believes that a creative life – in its fullest sense – rests on four pillars. These are: morning pages, artist dates, walks and asking for guidance. The focus here is on the first and the last.

Morning pages

This is journal writing to the rest of us. She requires us to write three pages at a time and to do so at the start of the day. Why in the morning? Well, it is a way of decluttering before you begin the day’s tasks. If you have had strange dreams, been fretting in the night or gone to bed a little disturbed by events, here is your chance to write them out and away.

My dreams are often fairly crazy (could be the CBD oil) and sometimes linger if I do not set them down and come to terms with them. The morning pages also let me reflect on the day ahead and, most importantly, set my intentions.

**This year’s journals** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

As you can see, one soon fills us a lot of journals. Writing in this way not only helps our mental health (seeing our thoughts written out on paper makes them so much clearer and less scary). It also helps to improve our writing, since, as in anything, practice is key.

If nothing else, it keeps a record of our life that is rather more reliable than memory and certainly more honest that photographs. And if your life is really exciting, a constant source of entertainment. I love Gwendolyn’s comment in The Importance of Being Earnest:

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.’
Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

Ah, if only my quiet life should merit such a comment!

But I become frivolous.

Ways of looking at prayer

Cameron suggests that at the end of our morning pages (and any other time we feel the need) that we use this opportunity to write down what it is that we would like help with. This is the point that we can ask for guidance and wait for the answer and transcribe it.

The answer may be immediate or it may take some time, but it will come.

Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.

Mother Teresa

I love the way that Mother Teresa has described prayer above. It is a act of humility: giving our own desires over to a higher, benevolent power.

In the Quaker tradition it is known as holding in the light. We still our minds in the silence and wait for guidance. It may not always be what we want to hear, but it will always be right.

Cameron’s technique works in the same way. Once we have finished burbling in our journals and emptied our minds, we are ready to receive our counsel.

Here is an example from her book that I think could be of use to many of us.

‘Often, when we slow down, we find that we open the door to guidance and inspiration. It is a paradox that by easing up on ourselves, answers seem to come to us as if out of nowhere, and often with powerful speed.

Ask your guidance what you could do to ease the pressure on yourself. Can you take a break or a nap? Can you push a deadline? Can you give yourself a full day of ‘no expectations,’ where you ask for nothing from yourself?

What do you hear? Can you give it a try?

Julia Cameron, Living the Artist’s Way

Because prayer, once asked, requires action. Our guidance will help us proceed in a thoughtful way. If we pray for a friend who is sick, our counsel may prompt us to send a letter or make a call. If we ask for advice, as above, we may need to set better boundaries for ourselves or those we live with.

Sources of inspiration

Over the years, I have found many places which give me inspiration on how to live. If you are a member of a religious organisation, you have the holy texts, but for the more secular amongst us, poems and inspirational quotes can act as a doorway to contemplation.

A time for reflection

The arrival of spring with its promise of rebirth in the natural world coincides with festivals for many of the major religions: Ramadan, Passover, Easter and Holi, just to name a few. And as people celebrate throughout the world, we too can join in our own way. There is so much to be grateful for – not least that we have survived the hardships of winter.

And if you are new to prayer, I suggest this one.

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was “thank you”, that would be enough.
Meister Eckhart

Happy Easter

As the Easter holiday begins next Friday, there will be no post then, but I hope to return with news of some of our creative ventures.

May the long weekend give you an opportunity to relax and reflect and perhaps begin the habit of asking for guidance.

**Plum blossom**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Keeping your Balance

Last week, I was at a meeting in a local church and the lady sitting next to me asked why the building was devoid of any decoration or flowers. Even the statuary was covered in purple cloth. ‘It is because it’s coming up to Easter’, I replied, though I had forgotten the details. Through the period of Lent, the church and its congregation use the time for reflection and so simplify their places of worship and their own lives. Some may practice fasting or ‘give up’ a luxury. Most other religions too have dates set aside for spiritual development allied with physical denial, such as Ramadan.

**Deep in prayer** Image: Isabella and Zsa Fischer on Unsplash

Perhaps you do not have a spiritual practice that requires such abstinence or perhaps you have no spiritual practice at all. Either way, I don’t think that we need one to remind us that it is valuable to set aside time to take stock of our lives and to learn a little resilience and self-discipline by doing without now and again.

Nature knows best

While I was contemplating this world-wide phenomenon of periods of rest followed by bursts of activity, I thought about how this is exactly what happens in the natural world. As winter advances, trees shed their leaves and enter a state of dormancy while storms rage and snow falls. They are not being idle however, but rather gathering their strength for the magnificent display of new growth and flowering that is spring.

**The pear tree bursting into life**
Image: Karen Costello-Mcfeat

Without enduring the harsh winter months, such a brilliant display would not be possible. And we too are creatures of the Earth who need to find a balance between dormancy and regeneration.

Losing balance

Ironically, having finally settled on this subject for my post, I fell foul of the very problem I was going to write about. After several weeks of frantic activity, wonderful socialising and simply doing too much, my body protested and simply shut down. MS is very helpful at reminding you when you need to rest. It doesn’t let you do anything else. So, cancelling some lovely social plans, I took myself to bed and slept and dozed. Reading and even watching the television was beyond me. I required zero stimulation. Luckily, my husband was home early to take care of the dog.

This morning, I awoke super early, refreshed and ready for the day. I was also suitably chastised and know that I must pace myself more carefully from now on. Fortunately, we are on the brink of the bank holiday weekend and I have nothing more planned than gardening, house tidying and eating Easter treats.

**Perfect balance** Image: Loic Leray on Unsplash

Bucking the 24/7 culture

Modern living doesn’t promote balance in life. Rather, it promotes the notion that we must have whatever our heart desires in minutes or, at worst, the next day. We have lost the joy of anticipation and of waiting. And with that, we have lost much of what brings true satisfaction. Instant gratification is followed very quickly by its opposite. So, we click and click again in search of that elusive high.

Only when we can step back and draw on the wisdom of nature and ancient spiritual practices can we see that waiting, even doing without, is not a punishment but a preparation. Anyone with even the most basic understanding of economics will tell you that value is set on the basis of supply and demand. When supply is ubiquitous, value tumbles. When supply is limited, it soars.

For most of us, time is our most valuable asset. We bemoan its lack while frantically filling our days with tasks of dubious value. Just as we are told that we should have everything immediately, we are also expected to fill every day with Instagrammable moments. Our fear of missing out propels us to visit one more event, to engage in one more outing even when we know our batteries are low. After all, spending an afternoon sitting quietly in the garden enjoying the birdsong and the touch of sun on your face is unlikely to generate many ‘likes’. And this is precisely where the market wants us to be – endlessly consuming goods and experiences since that is, after all, what generates profits.

But we are not automatons. We have choices and need to have the courage to follow the path that works for us. I am hardly advocating ‘dropping out’ or wearing a hair shirt. What I suggest is that we take this little holiday to re-evaluate what really matters to us.

Like the dormant trees in winter, the period of Lent ends in a riot of celebration: flowers and feasting and colourful spring clothes. Our moments of stillness refresh and nurture us so that the following abundance can be truly enjoyed. If we can keep our balance, we really can have it all.

Happy Easter!

**Wishing you a joyful Easter** Image: Mark Olsen on Unsplash

The Three Chocolatiers

Easter and chocolate go together like spring and daffodils. So what better time to indulge in a little chocolate making than Easter Monday? General craziness meant that my husband and I hadn’t made our treat packed baskets and I was missing that indulgence. There was a solution; however, and like most of our solutions this year, it lay in doing it ourselves.

In an act of self-interested generosity, I had bought my husband a chocolate making kit for Christmas. (He had expressed interest and who was I to deny him?) Using YouTube as his guide, he made a batch of the best chocolate I have ever tasted. He made another and then this time, I asked to be initiated into this most eminently useful skill.

Ingredients are key

As with all things culinary, the better the ingredients you have to start with, the better the result. Get organic and fair trade if you can. I found mine online and, though not cheap, would hardly break the bank either.

Everything you need Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Chocolate’s ingredients are surprisingly few: cocoa mass, cocoa butter, sweetener and salt. Any flavours you wish can be added, but the base is just that. The really complicated part of transforming a sticky bean to cocoa mass/butter has been done for you.

The equipment too, is very straight forward. All that is required is a heat-proof bowl, a pot, and a wooden spoon. As your skills progress, you may wish to invest in a marble slab for tempering the chocolate and a sugar thermometer for ensuring temperatures are just right, but we are happy with our less than perfect version.

Chocolate for beginners recipe

After a little trial and error, this is the recipe we went with. It makes a dark chocolate that is vegan friendly.

Ingredients

200g of cocoa butter

300 g of cocoa solids

1 tsp of vanilla essence

Pinch of salt

Honey and maple syrup to taste

Method

Place the cocoa butter in a heat proof bowl and sit on a pot filled to a quarter with water (to make a bain-marie). Ensure that the bottom of the bowl isn’t touching the water. Bring the water to the simmer and then continue to heat gently until the cocoa butter melts. Stir all the while. When fully liquid, add the cocoa solids gradually and continue stirring. Do not over-heat and do not let any water come in contact with the chocolate or it will ruin it!

When all is liquid, add one teaspoon of vanilla essence, a pinch of salt and honey and pure maple syrup to taste. You can use liquid sugar but we love the taste of honey with a little smoky note of maple. Taste as you go – you’ll need quite a lot – and when it is on the bitter side of perfect – stop. The chocolate will get a little sweeter as it cools, so err on the bitter side.

Adding flavour

This is the fun part and you are limited only by your imagination. Chocolate is one of those rare foods that goes with almost everything – it is the little black dress of cooking. If you wish to infuse your chocolate with a flavour such as peppermint, substitute that for the vanilla above. I love rose geranium, but if you wish to add herbal/floral extracts make sure they are food safe first. Also, add only a few drops at a time. The good stuff is very intense.

Chocolate pairs well with stronger herbs such as rosemary, delicate florals like rose and spicy flavours such as chilli. For ideas, look up a gourmet chocolate shop or play with what you have to hand.

Choices, choices Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Roasted nuts and dried fruits are always going to be good. In the batch we made we had: crystallized ginger and crunched ginger thins; dried white mulberries; date and mango and whole roasted hazelnuts. Personally, I think that really strong contrast flavours work the best, so perhaps avoid any insipid ones.

Get set!

Now your chocolate is ready for the moulds. We bought a couple on Ebay and used cupcake trays for the remainder. Moulds can be expensive and if you just want to give it a try without investing too much, gorgeous chocolate called bark can be made by simply smearing it thickly onto a sheet of baking paper and sprinkling the additional components on top.

A couple of moulds and some muffin tins works fine! Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Before pouring the chocolate into the moulds, we sprinkle our extra ingredients on the bottom. They will float up a little bit when the liquid chocolate is added to give a lovely texture. Err on the conservative side when adding the chocolate. Add a spoonful at a time and leave a little space at the top. (Otherwise, it sloshes chocolate all over when you move it and makes it difficult to ease out the mould. I know this, because that is exactly what I did on the chocolate bar mould!) Top tip: If your mould is on the wobbly side, place on a baking tray before filling, that way you can move it about with ease.

Now wait

This is clearly the hardest part of the operation – waiting for the chocolate to set. It takes several hours and patience is key. Ideally, place the chocolate in a cool part of the house away from pets. (Chocolate is poisonous to dogs.) Make a cup of tea, read a magazine and only a few hours later, check its progress. It should be hard and shiny(ish) on the top and pop out the mould easily if fully set.

Easter chocolates at last! Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

The joy of chocolate making is that it makes a lot. This recipe makes about one pound: that means plenty for you and plenty to share. If giving as a gift, it can be wrapped prettily in cellophane or bars can be wrapped in wax paper with a colourful paper sleeve. However you present it, though, it will taste great.

And the third chocolatier? Hermione, of course, whose contribution was to entertain us while we cooked.

Begin. Again.

Easter, like all the world’s spring festivals, is a celebration of new life, of second chances. New beginnings are both exciting and challenging times. We are moving into unchartered territory and the question remains, How shall we approach this? Over the last year and especially the last few days, I’ve been thinking hard about how I would like to proceed in this ‘brave new world’. Things won’t be normal for ages and perhaps never will be, though I can’t say I am sad about that. Our old lives were crazily busy and unsustainable. If this last year has given us anything, it has been the opportunity to hit the pause button on life and reset it. This is an incredible gift, which I doubt will come again. So as we enter into our new ways of being, how will we define them? What structures will we give our lives? When planning this post, I came up with way too many ideas to address here, but I have managed to condense them into five categories – ways of living – that will be good for me and the planet. I doubt I will succeed all the time, but that is the whole point of new beginnings. They can occur once a year or every dawn. If I fail, and I will often fail, I shall just begin. Again.

Time to leave my ‘lock-down’ egg. Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Living simply

This last year, managing on a very much smaller budget, has meant that living simply was as much a necessity as an option. Yet, bizarrely, our lives were infinitely richer. My husband and I finally had plenty time to spend together; we tended our garden and were rewarded with a bumper crop; we were grateful for everything we had. We had enough.

With my husband getting back to normal working hours, our income will increase once more and the temptation is to return to the convenience that purchasing power gives. However, I am determined to keep living simply at the heart of all I do. I want to make my own bread; I want to make meals a time of celebration as well as nourishment; I want to reduce the demands put on the planet through buying less and up-cycling more.

While doing the obligatory cupboard cleaning, I was appalled at just how much stuff we have. From now on, I’m going to take care to look and see what might serve a purpose before rushing off to buy something new. Often spares languish at the back of the cupboard while we shop. Often, a little imagination enables us to reuse or upcycle objects that might otherwise be thrown out. It is a creative act and one which, for me at least, is more pleasure than chore.

Living slowly

Living frantically didn’t do me any good. Both my serious illnesses were triggered by stress. Slowing down, taking time to simply be, to smell the flowers and to focus mindfully on each task has allowed my body to heal in ways I didn’t think were possible. Tempting though it might be to start rushing around again, I can take a hint.

Take time to enjoy Nature Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Ironically, slow living is not boring living. Time doesn’t drag but glides seamlessly from one hour to the next. Slow living is about being rather than doing. And when we live within time, it becomes fluid. The task takes the time it needs to take, no more and no less. Time is no longer the enemy, but rather the liquid medium through which we work.

Living creatively

Time and limited finances have both contributed to living more creatively. There are hours in the day without appointments, so I can doodle and create for as long as the dog is willing to sit still. Apart from childhood, I have never done so many crafts and art projects. They are hardly professional, but they are entertaining. With the help of YouTube, one can learn almost anything and that resource is available to everyone and free.

Stretched finances means that making gifts and cards is the sensible option. Though I can’t offer the most expensive presents, I hope that I can offer something made with the person in mind – a sort of economy bespoke. And when I do purchase something I think the recipient would love, I take time to wrap with care. For my own part, the most precious gifts that I’ve received are ones that someone has made for me. They are the ones that are kept and cherished.

A butterfly card for a butterfly lover! Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Living flexibly

Just as there are groups for recovering alcoholics, I think there should be support groups for recovering control freaks. In the past, my page to a day diary was crammed with entries: places to be, things to do, appointments and work. A blank page would have left me disoriented. My life was scheduled from sun-up to sundown. And heaven forbid if plans had to be changed! Like removing a brick from a giant Jenga game, one loose block destabilised the whole. Well, the tower did fall eventually and I have been assembling the pieces ever since. Except now, I do not feel the need for a huge tower – any interesting formation will do.

Picking up the pieces Image: Naveen Kumar on Unsplash

The pandemic with all its shifting rules, uncertainties and cancelled trips, has made planning a fool’s game. So now, in proper Zen fashion, I take each day as it comes. Accepting that one really has very little control in life, though initially horrifying, is hugely consoling. Though I still have tasks I’d like to do each day, I try to ignore the pressure to complete by some arbitrary time, but rather work on the assumption that they will get done. They do not always get finished on the allotted day, but amazingly they are almost always realised. There are advantages to having a shorter list.

Living socially

For me, there is no greater pleasure than the company of those I love. Lock-down has precluded face to face contact, but it has not impeded my enjoying friendships in other ways. My telephone schedule has meant that we are all up-to-date with each others’ news; I write letters and emails more often and at greater length; I have started regular video calls with a friend in the States. I intend to maintain all of these plus, I hope, the joy of personal interaction. Separation from my children in the States is my only real sadness: Skype is only a partial substitute for a hug.

And if these strange times have taught us anything, it is just how much we need and depend on each other. When life’s demands become more urgent again in the coming weeks, the trick will be to remember where our priorities lie.

A roadmap for life

I hope that this long weekend will give you an opportunity to evaluate what you would like life to be like in the future. Elaborate plans are not necessary, but I do think deciding on your objectives and how you might achieve them is helpful. Whatever you decide, I hope it brings you joy.