Equality

We live in divisive times. These last few years have seen fractures widening on so many issues: Brexit, Trump, race, gender and sexual orientation. Increasingly, what began as dialogue and debate has fallen into the shrill cry of outrage. And as each shouts louder, the quiet voice of reason is drowned out.

Without doubt, there has been plenty to be concerned about. Injustices too many to count have occurred; individuals and groups have suffered. There is much to be done. But talking and blaming are the least likely routes to a lasting solution. Our only hope is in learning to listen.

Many notes, but one beautiful sound Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

When singing in a choir, as much of our energy needs to be directed to what everyone else is singing as in following our own lines. The diversity of the notes, the varying ranges and tones are what makes the music beautiful. So too, in society.

We need diversity to thrive. We need to have our ideas and values challenged. Without this, we risk falling into a sort of mono political void – where the extremes of Nazism on the right and communism on the left reside.

Recently, I have been very disturbed by the tendency of the cancel culture to fall into this very trap where their battle cry is: If you do not agree with me, then I shall ostracise you, or worse have you lose your job. In the defence of one kind of thinking, individuals have simply suppressed another.

And it is so seductive. Who doesn’t enjoy feeling right? Who doesn’t enjoy that sense of moral superiority? We post and repost sometimes cruel memes, knowing that we will be rewarded with smiley faces and supportive comments. No-one I know likes Trump, for example, and his behaviour has been outrageous. However, I fear that in joining the jeering masses that criticise him, we too have become diminished. If we fill our heads with hate, I fear our hearts soon follow.

And the wedge between those who support him and those who do not widens further. What we need to do is ask why anyone would support such a man. The same has been true of Brexit in the UK. It is so easy to view the holder of the opposite opinion as a fool or worse. And perhaps some are, but when it literally divides a nation in half, we should assume that there is some cause for their position. If we discuss, if we listen, we may discover that they have cause for their beliefs. We may unearth the very fears and difficulties that led them to it. We may, if we are willing to dive into that messy, challenging area of policy change, work towards helping resolve them.

Black lives matter

Together, black and white make beautiful music Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Of course, black lives matter and the global protests have sparked a long-overdue discussion of how race impacts lives. That so many (of every hue) marched in support of this is a sign that a good number genuinely value our multi-cultural society. But speeches, and marches, only go so far. We need to engage with one another and this is not possible when either side is viewed as the enemy. I was somewhat appalled to see when I opened my online library catalogue that one of the best sellers was titled: Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People about Race. Ironically, I’m sure that it will be read by numerous white readers wishing to improve their understanding, but it saddens me nonetheless that many feel the divide is unbridgeable.

Perhaps a sign of hope should be taken from the star of Biden’s inauguration: a young black woman reciting her own work with the first female, mixed race Vice-President sitting behind her.

Brilliant and wise words

Let it begin with me

Since my post was going to be about harmony – blending a variety of voices into one beautiful sound, I looked for an appropriate audio-visual representation and found this gorgeous choir below. The singers come from diverse backgrounds. If I was looking for something to sum up what I hoped to say, it is this.

And let it begin with me is a powerful challenge. Ultimately, we cannot wait for others to show us the way. The times are too pressing for that. We can only look to our shared humanity and follow the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto you. When I meditate on equality, I always come back to this. It is as simple to say as it is difficult to carry out. Yet if we wish to live in a world where we respect and value each other, we really don’t have an option.

The road to hell, they say, is paved with good intentions, but not because our intentions are inherently evil, but rather when not acted upon, leave us with our usual flawed behaviours. The trick is to have intentions that we make good upon.

While listening to a wonderful webinar on meditation practice on the OMS website, one of the things the speaker, Phil Startin, recommended was setting one’s intentions for the day. He is not alone in suggesting a daily practice of goal setting, but this was a little different. These were not goals in the sense of achieving an objective – baking a cake, running 5K (!) or doing a kind deed, but in regard to one’s behaviour. ‘How do I want to behave today?’ he asks. It is a question worth pondering.

Here is the whole webinar, should you wish you watch it!

Intention meditation

Phil went on to say how he considers both how he will act and how he will communicate, with the intention of making both more loving and kind. His ideas were something that resonated with me, but how to incorporate this into my daily practice? I try to do a formal meditation each morning for about 15 minutes with mini, informal ones throughout the day. Like most people, I struggle to keep my focus, but here was a way I might do that and give my day a unique sense of purpose. It took me a while to come up with a plan and then I remembered the Quaker testimonies or guide to living that is neatly summed up in the acronym STEEP. The letters stand for: simplicity, truth, equality, environment and peace.

So after a few, deep breaths and a mini-body scan to ground me in the present, I begin.

Simplicity

Let me live simply. How does this work in our world of abundance? We could don sackcloth and live in bare rooms with only Shaker furniture, but I’m not sure that is necessary. I have spent more time thinking about this one than any other and know I shall spend much more time still. My best suggestion to myself is to avoid being seduced by the siren song of materialism. Simplicity is not about depriving oneself but rather avoiding excess. Whatever we have should be valued and honoured. When we appreciate what we have, we seldom want more.

Truth

Let me speak the truth and be true to myself. Speaking the truth as you see it is not always easy and certainly not always popular. However, to retain our self-respect, we do need to be honest about what we believe. There is no need to proselytise, but we should not shrink from our opinion, even as we acknowledge that we might be wrong!

Sometimes the truth hurts or is simply overwhelming. If this is likely to be the case, I try to adopt Emily Dickinson’s strategy of ‘Tell all the truth but tell it slant’. Avoiding hurt is always more important than being right. Here’s her poem in full.

Tell all the truth but tell it slant

Tell all the truth but tell it slant —
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth’s superb surprise
As Lightning to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind —

Equally vital is to stay true to our essential being. We all play roles: mother, wife, daughter, father, husband, son, but these do not reflect who we are. Our true being is much greater and complex. Finding ourselves beneath the roles is a quest on its own, but one which quiet times allow us to embark upon.

Let me treat everyone as an equal. This one looks so simple, but is the most complex of all. There are inequalities of all kinds of relationships from families to race. I usually pick one to focus upon, as there is so much to contemplate. We can think of transactional analysis where we relate to each other as parent, adult or child (ideally, we relate as adult to adult), or we can think in terms of class struggle: do I look down on those who are financially worse off and unthinkingly admire the wealthy? Then there is race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, disability etc. All the ‘isms’ are best avoided, but we will have more work to do than simply speak in a politically correct way. Christ probably put it most succinctly when he said, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ If we can manage that, we really will have a more equal society.

Environment

Let me honour this world that is my home. I’ve always been a keen environmentalist and struggle constantly with how modern living affects the earth. We cannot fail to make some impact, but we can attempt to make it as small as possible. The Jehovah’s witnesses believe that man has stewardship over the earth rather than dominion. I think they have a point. By setting our intention each morning to look after the world rather than despoil it, we can inform our actions accordingly. By fostering a love of the outdoors, I believe that we make this goal easier still.

Peace

Let me promote peace in my relationships and in my being. Peace, like most things, starts at home. If we can work on creating more peaceful relationships with those we interact with, we can hope to bring peace to others too. It may mean doing something as simple as holding your tongue when someone says something unpleasant or expects you to like a cruel meme. We can fuel the fire or we can take away its oxygen.

As for ourselves, we are cauldrons of emotions – often negative ones. I am no exception here and was famous for my daily rant to my poor office mate in South Carolina. Apologies! There is so much injustice, wickedness, corruption and plain stupidity in the world that it is easy to spend one’s life in a state of permanent outrage. Yet, our anger is of no purpose if we don’t seek solutions. More often than not, we simply disturb the equilibrium of the listener and, of course, ourselves . Finding a centre of peace and loving kindness will lead to ripples of the same extending outward from us. Achieving a state of peace is a life-long challenge, but when I succeed in holding it, even for a few minutes, it is as wonderful as it gets.

Have it your way

Living intentionally doesn’t require joining a convent or a cult. It only requires that you commit to the idea of living with a purpose and setting your intention to do it. As is true for anything worthwhile, it demands a certain amount of discipline and commitment. What are your values? Use these to create your own acronym and guide your morning contemplations. These could develop into prayers or mantras or as a focus for your thoughts. Whatever you choose, it will help you start your day in a positive and hopeful way. And we will all benefit from that.

Tag: Equality

Harmony