Good intentions

Looking at the news and hearing about the numerous difficulties and challenges of others, one might be forgiven for slipping into a sense of despair. The climate crisis alone is sure to give one pause. And no matter what deals are written this week at COP26, they are as insignificant as warm air upon the wind unless they are acted upon.

All of this got me to thinking about hope. It was the middle of the night and I was lying awake fretting over the very troubling news of a good friend. What is hope, after all? Is it, as the ancient Greeks claimed, but a cruel trick?

Pandora’s box

According to the myth, Prometheus angered the gods by giving the humans he created fire. As a consequence, he was doomed to daily, insufferable torture, but his brother Epimetheus was allowed to remain living among their creations on Earth. Having the faculty of foresight, Prometheus begged his brother not to accept any gifts from the gods, as he feared their vindictiveness would not end with his own punishment.

When Epimetheus was presented with the exceptionally lovely Pandora to be his wife and an exquisite box as a wedding gift from Zeus; however, he was unable to refuse. We all know the rest. Pandora, overcome with curiosity, opens the box, which releases the evils of the world. At the bottom lies hope. This is often interpreted as an act of kindness, but the more likely explanation is rather more bleak. The Greek gods were not famous for their altruism, after all. Hope is there, not to give succour to the humans, but rather to perpetuate their misery by giving them the strength to continue amidst all difficulty.

So, in the depth of night, I wondered if this was true. Was hope only a way of making us endure with false optimism or was it something else? Dawn was a long way off and I had plenty time to contemplate this.

**Holding hope in our hands** Image Ronak Valobobhai on Unsplash

Here’s hoping

My first thought was how hope was not hope but merely wishful thinking when we use it to desire a good outcome without having done much to secure it. I’m certain that I’m not the only person to prepare insufficiently for an exam or event and still keep my fingers crossed that the result will be good. Occasionally, we are lucky and it is; however, more often than not, it isn’t.

Many of us will be hoping for a good outcome of the COP26 summit, but unless we are willing to give that hope assistance in the form of life adjustments, our dreams are unlikely to be fulfilled. Such hope is, in fact, dangerous. The attitude that technology will save us; science will save us; politicians will save us, absolves us of responsibility and we need do nothing but wait. I would not wish to gamble on those odds.

**If I wish hard enough it will come true, right?** Image: Dayne Topkin on Unsplash

The road to Hell, they say, is paved with good intentions. I had always interpreted this to mean that without action, our good intentions are worthless. But it can equally mean that good intentions do not ensure positive outcomes. Those scientists who developed pesticides and herbicides to increase crop yields no doubt felt they were benefitting farmers and us by ensuring a bountiful and affordable food supply. The devastation that it has brought to the entire insect world would not have occurred to them. For a thorough examination of this phenomenon known as ‘the law of unintended consequences’, you may like to read the article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/word-less/201904/the-road-hell-is-paved-good-intentions

Yet, without intentionality and the belief that we can improve situations, we are rendered powerless. So what exactly should we do? I confess that I’m not certain. For now, I’m going with a sort of two-pronged approach: to spend time in contemplation seeking a compassionate mindset and in making small steps in what I hope to be the correct direction. A gentle, methodical approach may not be exciting, but it does allow for flexibility and adjustments.

The urgency surrounding climate change may seem to warrant a rapid response, but it also means that we must get it right. If we take it upon ourselves to be as well-informed as we possibly can and to act without self-interest, I do believe that some good can come.

Acceptance

Sometimes, what we hope for simply isn’t possible. No amount of wishing will ensure it. Here, all we can do is bring acceptance to the situation and attempt to minimise the obvious stress and suffering of those involved. I do not feel equipped to do this yet, but I can certainly try to learn the skill of compassionate listening in the desire that it might help.

**From the heart**
Image: Photo by Meghna R on Unsplash

Equally, often what we hope for does not materialise. Life has a habit of taking us by surprise and the goals we have laboured for so long are snatched away. Hard though it is to appreciate at the time, this might be better for us. Though my life has hardly gone to plan over the last several years, I’m not sure that the outcomes have been any worse than if they had. What I have lost in health and material wealth has been more than compensated for in leisure time (to write this, for example), friendship and an opportunity for spiritual development. On balance, I believe I am better off in all the ways that count. Though I regularly have to remind myself of this when frustrated by my limitations. You really can’t have it all.

All will be well

When life seems especially bleak, the words of the medieval anchoress, Julian of Norwich, are very welcome. Sometimes I repeat them on an indefinite loop, but only today did I look up the source. I discovered that these words came from a vision she had while dangerously ill. She was questioning why God had allowed sin (all the contents of Pandora’s box) to enter the world when he was omnipotent. Here is the answer she received:

But Jesus, who in this vision informed me of all that is needed by me, answered with these words and said: ‘It was necessary that there should be sin; but all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.
Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love

It seems that despite life’s suffering, we need not despair for ultimately, ‘all will be well’. Is she right? I certainly hope so.

The road to hell, they say, is paved with good intentions, but not because our intentions are inherently evil, but rather when not acted upon, leave us with our usual flawed behaviours. The trick is to have intentions that we make good upon.

While listening to a wonderful webinar on meditation practice on the OMS website, one of the things the speaker, Phil Startin, recommended was setting one’s intentions for the day. He is not alone in suggesting a daily practice of goal setting, but this was a little different. These were not goals in the sense of achieving an objective – baking a cake, running 5K (!) or doing a kind deed, but in regard to one’s behaviour. ‘How do I want to behave today?’ he asks. It is a question worth pondering.

Here is the whole webinar, should you wish you watch it!

Intention meditation

Phil went on to say how he considers both how he will act and how he will communicate, with the intention of making both more loving and kind. His ideas were something that resonated with me, but how to incorporate this into my daily practice? I try to do a formal meditation each morning for about 15 minutes with mini, informal ones throughout the day. Like most people, I struggle to keep my focus, but here was a way I might do that and give my day a unique sense of purpose. It took me a while to come up with a plan and then I remembered the Quaker testimonies or guide to living that is neatly summed up in the acronym STEEP. The letters stand for: simplicity, truth, equality, environment and peace.

So after a few, deep breaths and a mini-body scan to ground me in the present, I begin.

Simplicity

Let me live simply. How does this work in our world of abundance? We could don sackcloth and live in bare rooms with only Shaker furniture, but I’m not sure that is necessary. I have spent more time thinking about this one than any other and know I shall spend much more time still. My best suggestion to myself is to avoid being seduced by the siren song of materialism. Simplicity is not about depriving oneself but rather avoiding excess. Whatever we have should be valued and honoured. When we appreciate what we have, we seldom want more.

Truth

Let me speak the truth and be true to myself. Speaking the truth as you see it is not always easy and certainly not always popular. However, to retain our self-respect, we do need to be honest about what we believe. There is no need to proselytise, but we should not shrink from our opinion, even as we acknowledge that we might be wrong!

Sometimes the truth hurts or is simply overwhelming. If this is likely to be the case, I try to adopt Emily Dickinson’s strategy of ‘Tell all the truth but tell it slant’. Avoiding hurt is always more important than being right. Here’s her poem in full.

Tell all the truth but tell it slant

Tell all the truth but tell it slant —
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth’s superb surprise
As Lightning to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind —

Equally vital is to stay true to our essential being. We all play roles: mother, wife, daughter, father, husband, son, but these do not reflect who we are. Our true being is much greater and complex. Finding ourselves beneath the roles is a quest on its own, but one which quiet times allow us to embark upon.

Equality

Let me treat everyone as an equal. This one looks so simple, but is the most complex of all. There are inequalities of all kinds of relationships from families to race. I usually pick one to focus upon, as there is so much to contemplate. We can think of transactional analysis where we relate to each other as parent, adult or child (ideally, we relate as adult to adult), or we can think in terms of class struggle: do I look down on those who are financially worse off and unthinkingly admire the wealthy? Then there is race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, disability etc. All the ‘isms’ are best avoided, but we will have more work to do than simply speak in a politically correct way. Christ probably put it most succinctly when he said, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ If we can manage that, we really will have a more equal society.

Environment

Let me honour this world that is my home. I’ve always been a keen environmentalist and struggle constantly with how modern living affects the earth. We cannot fail to make some impact, but we can attempt to make it as small as possible. The Jehovah’s witnesses believe that man has stewardship over the earth rather than dominion. I think they have a point. By setting our intention each morning to look after the world rather than despoil it, we can inform our actions accordingly. By fostering a love of the outdoors, I believe that we make this goal easier still.

Peace

Let me promote peace in my relationships and in my being. Peace, like most things, starts at home. If we can work on creating more peaceful relationships with those we interact with, we can hope to bring peace to others too. It may mean doing something as simple as holding your tongue when someone says something unpleasant or expects you to like a cruel meme. We can fuel the fire or we can take away its oxygen.

As for ourselves, we are cauldrons of emotions – often negative ones. I am no exception here and was famous for my daily rant to my poor office mate in South Carolina. Apologies! There is so much injustice, wickedness, corruption and plain stupidity in the world that it is easy to spend one’s life in a state of permanent outrage. Yet, our anger is of no purpose if we don’t seek solutions. More often than not, we simply disturb the equilibrium of the listener and, of course, ourselves . Finding a centre of peace and loving kindness will lead to ripples of the same extending outward from us. Achieving a state of peace is a life-long challenge, but when I succeed in holding it, even for a few minutes, it is as wonderful as it gets.

Have it your way

Living intentionally doesn’t require joining a convent or a cult. It only requires that you commit to the idea of living with a purpose and setting your intention to do it. As is true for anything worthwhile, it demands a certain amount of discipline and commitment. What are your values? Use these to create your own acronym and guide your morning contemplations. These could develop into prayers or mantras or as a focus for your thoughts. Whatever you choose, it will help you start your day in a positive and hopeful way. And we will all benefit from that.

Tag: Good intentions

Giving Hope a Helping Hand