living beautifully – When Life Gives You Lemons

What better way to round off a series of posts on living beautifully than with you? These last few weeks have left us all frazzled. We have had to be infinitely flexible as, weekly, our worlds have shifted under our feet. Some of us have moved from home working to furlough, most of us are concerned about the financial implications and all of us, I’m sure, are worried that we or someone we love will succumb to this hideous virus.

Amazingly, everyone I know is keeping upbeat and doing everything they can to keep things ‘normal’. My choir (and my teaching) have gone on-line, neighbours are checking in on each other, my WattsApp account is filled daily with joyful photos and hilarious clips. But when your husband has to get up in the middle of the night to secure a slot for your grocery delivery; the furthest you have walked is to the mail box and the only other people you have spoken to in person are your neighbours over the fence, eventually, one starts to sag.

My antidote is this. Give yourself a day in which you nurture yourself; a day in which the worries of life are banished; a day in which you both live beautifully and make yourself beautiful. This spa day will cost you pennies, but I hope will refresh and recharge you for the weeks ahead. Ideally, take a whole day to do this, but if this is not possible, pick out the bits that appeal and do them. A little self-care can do wonders.

Preparations

Choose a day and put it in the diary. Easter is almost upon us, so everyone should have some days off
Make sure that you have clean fluffy towels to emulate a spa experience
Find all those lotions and potions that you have stuck in the back of the drawer, because you never have time to use them. Now is the time.
Have some delicious snacks available and a jug of water to hydrate and detox
Have the ingredients ready for a simple lunch and dinner too (or even better, get someone to make it for you)
Do no housework or other chores. There is always tomorrow for that
As promised, this is an economical spa with luxurious results. In addition to your choice of beauty products, everything you need should be in your kitchen. And all the media links will be here – so all you have to do is press play!

The schedule

A great day starts from a good night’s rest. If like me, sleeping is always a bit of a hit and miss affair, start your day whenever you feel ready to face the world. If that is closer to lunch-time, so be it. This is your day for indulgence.

A mug of hot water is always the best way to cleanse the system – but if you reach for a coffee – I won’t tell. Just try to stick to water from now on.

An empower shower

This is not your usual dash in and out affair. Take your time. Play with all those fun lotions that you never remember to use. (I’m going to be using a body scrub that has sat in my chest of drawers for too long!) Wash and condition your hair.

These lovely beauty products are about to be put to use Photo: Karen Costello-mcFeat

While your body is clean and damp, apply body moisturiser generously remembering your poor feet and ankles. After chemo, my skin still has not resumed its usual elasticity and I sometime feel I resemble a reptile more closely than a human, but I shall be using something fragrant and special on my spa day and leaving the industrial E45 moisturising lotion for another time.

Apply a face mask

This is something that I never do, but really should. I’ve made up a recipe from ingredients I had and you can adapt to what you have available. Since honey is at a bit of a premium at the moment, I’ve gone for a simpler version using oats and olive oil. (If you have almond oil, that is even better.)

A face mask that is good enough to eat! Photo: Karen Costello-McFeat

Rose and oat mask

To make the mask, simply mix a scant 1/2 cup of rolled oats with 2 tablespoons of rose water and 2 tablespoons of plain water. (Or all water) Stir well. The oats should be just damp. Mix in 1 teaspoon of rose petals if you have them plus 1 tablespoon of olive oil. Leave to infuse. Makes enough for two+

When you are ready for your mask, simply scoop the mixture into your hands and rub over your face, neck and upper chest. Place two slices of cucumber over your eyes, lay back and relax for 15 minutes. Rinse off the mask with warm water, splash with cold water and pat dry.

Your face will look radiant and taut.

A little mani-pedi

By now, you should be feeling relaxed and lovely. There is one last thing to do and that is to trim, moisturise and pamper your hard working hands and feet. This is usually a task I do quickly and efficiently, but for my spa day, I took my time, massaged my feet, rubbed any dry parts with moisturiser and took care to trim my nails as nicely as possible. Some of you may wish to add some varnish, but since I spend half my life pulling bindweed from the garden, painted nails are not for me!

Refresh!

After all that ‘hard’ work, it’s time to recharge with some lovely, minty cucumber water and perhaps a light lunch!

After lunch, make space for an activity that is just for you. I love making flower arrangements, reading a book or even taking a nap. Yesterday, I joined my on-line choir for a good sing. Whatever will refresh you – do it!

Bringing inspiration in Photo: Karen Costello-McFeat

Yoga

After all this pampering, a little gentle exercise is in order. I use an excellent CD by Jon Kabat-Zinn, but you may have another instructor that you love. Yoga and other activities such as Qi Gong, Thai Chi or a good walk are a perfect way to end the day.

Dressing for dinner

Now you are looking tremendous and feeling relaxed, it’s time to enjoy a good meal. Dress for dinner and put on make-up if you would normally. If you are isolated, book a video chat with a friend or family member and share your meal that way.

The rest of the evening is yours to enjoy, though I would advise against too much social media or any news. We don’t want to destroy that lovely equilibrium.

And just before you go to bed, I’d recommend a short meditation. You can reflect on your day quietly or follow a guided meditation. The one below is my favourite.

A great way to end the day

When I first started thinking about this blog, I envisaged a day of pampering and self-indulgence. But what I found when I did it, was that it was a day of honouring my body. It was not frivolous but mindful. Our bodies do so much for us that once in a while, we should remember to do something for them.

I wish you a relaxing spa day and a very happy Easter.

In these crazy days, as the Corona virus locks us indoors, I thought it might be timely to do a post on something positive: living beautifully. When our lives are filled with activities and deadlines, it is sometimes difficult to make space for the finer things. Yet, these are what make life worth while. They do not require an immense amount of time, money or effort, but if we try to incorporate living beautifully into all that we do, I believe our lives can be transformed.

I have been inspired by friends who always made an extra effort to make a simple coffee date into an afternoon retreat. By taking time to lay a tea tray with pretty cups and linens, they immediately graced the moment with care and friendship. They may have added homemade goodies, flowers or prettily arranged food. Nothing was showy or intimidating (this is not the objective), but they were clearly acts of love.

We do not have to spend a fortune on a gift to show we care. Whatever we can afford, it can be made more precious by a piece of ribbon or pretty paper. So what of life? This is surely the best gift and deserves the prettiest bows, the most gorgeous paper!

My daily reminder on my black board. Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Time is on my side

For once, time is definitely on my side. As I fall into the ‘at risk’ group, I now have twelve weeks (or 84 days!) of zero social commitments! On the one hand, this is a pretty horrible prospect – I’m already missing my friends – but on the other, I have the good fortune of my husband sharing it with me and a number of ideas of what I can do in this huge expanse of time.

Having time to think is always a luxury and one we do not afford ourselves often enough. Now is a perfect opportunity to reevaluate our lives and perhaps consider ways that we could make our lives a little better. I’m going to start with all the things that make me smile and bring joy (Marie Kondo’s decluttering advice is more than just about tidying the house).

You might like to do a mind map too of what brings you joy and make this an interactive experience!

Here’s my list in no particular order: friends and family, flowers, food, books, music, writing, letters, art, exercise and work. So how can they make life beautiful?

Friends and family

Since I am currently isolated, this is definitely the hardest one! However, a judicious use of social media means that we can keep in touch via any number of platforms. Regular video contact with the kids keeps me sane and talking on the phone is always a pleasure. Seeing and hearing others allows us to avoid the many pitfalls that can arise from the misreading of a text.

Another way we can write thoughtfully is through letters. It may be a lost art and postal rates increases do not help, but there are few activities more enjoyable than penning and receiving letters.

To make it ‘beautiful’ I invest in gorgeous stationery. I usually use a fountain pen so that my writing is as attractive as possible and also as meaningful. If you slow the rate at which you write, you are more likely to express your thoughts as you intended.

Modern life means that we often live at a distance from friends and relations, but letters and cards, more than anything else bridge that void. I have a wonderful friend in Yorkshire who is a keen letter writer and despite being separated from the age of ten, we still keep in touch regularly. On the rare occasions when we are able to meet up, we start our conversations as if they had only broken off a day or so ago. The same applies to distant friends who email with the same care as a letter. And some of them have discovered beautiful email stationary, thus merging the beauty of letters with the convenience of modern communication.

Receiving and writing letters is always a joy Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Words

While we are on the topic of words; books are a ‘go to’ for making life beautiful for me! They have the power to thrill, uplift, entertain and inform us. If we make time to read, we are making time for ourselves to tune out of the everyday world and tune in to our imaginations. I believe we are both refreshed and healed by the experience.

Enjoy the sunshine

This has been in rather short supply this year and its rarity makes it all the more precious. In the narrow window of sun we had today, I determined to head outside and do a little gardening. Though I only managed about half an hour, the smell of the earth and the sun warming my bones made me feel wonderful. Excavating the lilac trees from a carpet of ivy was also very satisfying and and my garden is a little more beautiful as a result.

While there, I also took my secateurs to cut some spring flowers for the house. I didn’t take too many, but they made a sweet little bouquet, which will certainly cheer my kitchen.

Even the smallest bouquet, inexpertly arranged, will raise a smile. Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Food art

Despite the fashion in very expensive restaurants to make their minute portions of food look like a modernist painting, flourishes don’t have to be grand to make food appetising. Here are some of my very simple ideas to make food a visual as well as a gastronomic joy!

Add seed sprinkles and herbs to dishes like soup for extra pazzaz.
Invest in nice china – charity and second hand shops have an abundance at very low cost.
If having a modest sandwich, add pickles and fresh veg sticks for colour and texture.
Eat at the table and if you are feeling fancy – add napkins and flowers. For a special occasion, hunt out the table cloths.
Add sliced lemon (and possibly ice) to drinks. It always makes it feel more of a treat.
The list is really endless, but making mealtimes a ritual that has meaning will make it so much more than a refuelling stop.

Be beautiful!

I’m going to finish with one that seems a little obvious but is often over-shadowed by unrealistic expectations. If we hope to feel good about ourselves, it is important to invest in ourselves. Appearance matters -as much to us as those that see us.

When we are home with no visitors, the temptation is to lounge about in our pyjamas and slippers, but I think this would soon eat away at our self-esteem. Even when working from home, most experts advise dressing for the office in order to get your head in the right mindset. I would not suggest you do that, but why not take care to select a nice outfit, do your hair and make-up and (this took me a while to get right) add some matching jewellery?

Shallow though it sounds, when you look good, you feel good. Self-care is not selfish, nor is living beautifully (when done with the right intention) showing off. When we live beautifully, we are expressing that we value all of life’s gifts and appreciation and gratitude, as we know, are always good for the soul.

Tag: living beautifully

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