reading – When Life Gives You Lemons

This post was recommended by a friend who thought a retrospective was in order. It also seemed a good twist on the ‘What I did on my summer holidays’ theme that children up and down the land are asked to write in the first week of school.

Summer 2020 has proven to be a strange one for all of us. For me, it has been especially bizarre – living simultaneously in isolation from society and yet with more of my husband’s company than I have enjoyed in thirty odd years of marriage. Before you ask, the latter helped make up for the former and we both agree that these have been surprisingly happy times.

What to do?

With all normal activities barred to us, we were left with the conundrum of what to do with the vast expanse of time now available. My niece wrote the first draft of a novel; my husband started a YouTube business lecture series and the rest of us discovered or rediscovered slow pleasures: making bread, reading novels, enjoying a leisurely telephone conversation. (When we received a £350 phone bill, we realised that I’d been indulging in that luxury a little too much! We now have a much better BT plan.)

A Good Book

In the days BH (Before Hermione), I devoured books. I have no idea how many I read, but here are the five that stood out: The Well-Gardened Mind by Sue Stuart-Smith, Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult, The Mobster’s Lament by Ray Celestin, Weather by Jenny Offill and Black Swan Green by David Mitchell. I like an eclectic mix! And, of course, I am always looking for more. Suggestions in the comments section please!

This summer, I also completed a life-long desire to read the complete works of Shakespeare. I started some time ago, stopped, started again and this time made it to the end. Aspiring authors take heart! Even Shakespeare had to learn his craft; even Shakespeare had off days.

The history plays, when read in order, were a joy and intelligible. At last, all those knotty family trees made sense. There were some duds: ‘Titus Andronicus’,’Timon of Athens’ (zzzz) but some gems too. I’ve read, often several times, all the greats, but it was wonderful to discover some that are seldom taught like ‘Pericles’ and the lesser known sonnets. Perhaps one day, I shall read them again – but selectively!

Another thing ticked off the bucket list! Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Swedish lessons

Another challenge I have set myself is to read Pippy Longstocking in the original. Like my reading of Shakespeare, learning Swedish has been a stop/ start affair – but now I had no excuse. I increased the time I was spending on my Swedish lessons and committed to a daily session of twenty to thirty minutes. This more committed approach is starting to show real progress. I am delighted to inform you that I can now say: The bear sleeps from November to April (Bjornen sover fran november till april); I only buy yellow cars (Jag koper bara gula bilar) and my favourite: There is a princess in a long, green dress behind the door (Det finns en prinsessa med en lang, gron klanning bakom dorren.) I’m not quite sure when I will be able to show off these skills, but then, I’m not sure when I will ever get to Sweden.

Virtual outings

This summer has had a serious impact on the arts, so many wonderful theatres and opera houses have offered up their productions for free on YouTube.

One thing that my husband and I have always wished to enjoy was Glyndebourne Opera. Though this is only down the road from us, the tickets are prohibitively expensive and more than a little difficult to procure. So when they offered a season on YouTube, we decided to take advantage.

They were showing a delightful production of The Marriage of Figaro, so we prepared our picnic, put on our best outfits and enjoyed the show.

All dressed up with nowhere to go! Image: Jeff Costello-McFeat

Food glorious food!

Rather to the detriment of my waistline, this summer has been all about food : growing it, harvesting it, cooking it and preserving it. At the beginning, when my husband was furloughed with nothing to do, we introduced morning coffee – with cake and afternoon tea – with cake. It certainly cheered us up, but I’m rather relieved that he is at least partially back to work.

Being the competitive types we are, we also thought we’d add a little spice to our culinary adventures and started a competition for the best entree of the day. A dear friend was hauled in to guess who made it, but we didn’t ask her to say who won. My husband, who until recently was adept at making frozen pizza and big breakfast, is now very good at a number of exotic dishes. He is currently making flat bread in the kitchen. Having proven his capabilities, there is no way he will be allowed to slide back once the crisis ends, though I may allow him the weekdays off!

From frozen pizza to chocolate cake – lock-down’s surprising gift. Image: Jeff Costello-McFeat

A new challenge

With MS, it is always difficult to find ways to increase fitness and stamina. The disease works against you in the most frustrating ways. So I was delighted to find a fitness/life-style programme that could help me and perhaps even lesson my symptoms. It is called the Wim Hof method and involves cold treatments, breathing exercises and yoga. During the pandemic, they were offering reduced price courses on-line and with any number of weeks stretching ahead of us, we decided to give it a go. For ten weeks, we dutifully followed the programme. I confess that around the six week mark, I felt like giving up. I was hard. I’ll write about it fully next time, but let’s just say it was worth all the effort. The downside is that, course over, we need to carry on with it anyway.

Puppy love

Our leisurely, civilised life came to an abrupt halt with the arrival of Hermione. Picking up the umpteenth poo and waiting in the garden while she has five more minutes play, I sometimes wonder if it was an act of insanity getting a dog. (My husband, no doubt, has these thoughts at 3am when he gets up to let her out.) I’ve been through this all before with my old dog (and I got up that time) but just like childbirth, one forgets! And just like having children, the sea of tiredness, stress and frustration (puppies are like insane toddlers) disappears when they lie down quietly or give an adoring look.

We are gradually regaining a semblance of normal life, creating routines and filling quiet moments with human tasks. We are learning to accommodate each other’s needs and relax a little our desire to be in control of our days (and nights!) She requires immense amounts of time, attention and love, but of all the things we did last summer – this was the best.

Is it nap time yet? Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

As anyone who knows me knows, I am a total bookaholic (or bibliophile to give its proper name). I adore books and read all the time. I am fairly indiscriminate: if it is in print, that will do. Packaging blurb, newspaper articles, novels and texts are all grist to my reading mill. And I require a constant and varied supply. Should I be denied anything to read for more than a few hours, I become as cranky as a toddler before nap time.

What am I reading at the moment? The Body by Bill Bryson (an introduction to human biology); the novel, Whistle in the Dark by Emma Healey and Shakespeare’s sonnets. Strictly speaking, I am not reading the Bryson book, my husband is reading it to me and more on that anon. Fortunately, unlike most addictions, reading is a very inexpensive one. Even an exquisite hard- back that offers hours of entertainment is unlikely to cost much more than £20. More often than not, my reading matter is free or cheap – borrowed from a friend or bought at the charity shop.

Life holds few greater pleasures than a cup of tea and a good book Image: Photo by My Life Journal on Unsplash

And if the joy of entering an imaginative world were not sufficient, it seems that books have yet another gift: they can make you well.

Books as medicine

Freud had the talking cure; bibliotherapists have the reading one. Though there is no empirical data to support this, anecdotal evidence from those in the mental health professions all have faith in its efficacy. Reading, it seems, like Heineken, reaches other parts other approaches cannot reach.

But here, the quality of reading matter does matter. A recent article in The Times explained that:

‘Classic works of literature by William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens and other great writers can boost your brain and relieve depression, chronic pain and dementia – while self-help books are a waste of time.
Andrew Gregory, The Times, 1 March, 2020

Only when we are challenged in our reading – by more complex vocabulary; unpredictable plots and interesting phrasing and imagery, do we concentrate properly and thereby reap the benefits. Skim reading and easy texts and layouts (typical of the self-help genre) do us no good at all.

While reading great literature stimulates the brain, it opens our minds to the experiences of others and a realisation that what we may be suffering is not limited to ourselves. As Shakespeare put it so precisely:

It easeth some, though none it ever cured,
To think their dolour [unhappiness] others have endured.
Shakespeare, ‘The Rape of Lucrece’

Knowing we are not alone, eases our pain. Misfortune is isolating, but when we read about others who may have shared our troubles, we create a bond with a fellow sufferer. And unlike living relationships where we often conceal our faults and fears; fictional ones reveal theirs to our gaze. As a result, one often feels one knows more about characters than close relations.

Only connect

Reading and connecting with characters in books can significantly help with mental well-being. By adding a reading group, where there is both literary and social interaction, you can amplify the benefits.

The joy of reading with a friend! Image: Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

My book group has now been running for 26 years and still contains many of its original members. Though I doubt we can remember the titles of all the books we have read and discussed, we do still share the pleasure of each others’ company and memories of many happy evenings.

Book groups can be formed by anyone and if you are struggling to find other interested readers, groups are almost always on offer at your local library. Some reading circles will make the evening an impressive affair with themed food or even speakers, whilst the more modest might simply offer a cup of tea. Mine, I must confess, is never short of wine! How you plan your group is entirely up to you, but sharing a joy of reading is enough to ensure a good outcome.

Bedtime stories

Most of us will have fond memories of being read a book at bedtime as a child. There is something infinitely reassuring and restful about listening to another voice. Sadly, this practice usually stops when we are able to read independently.

It isn’t only babies who enjoy a story at bedtime

For many years now, my husband and I have read to each other at the end of the day (well, if I’m honest, my husband is more likely to read than me!) We are not alone in this: the owners of our favourite bookshop do the same. Often, reading for adults is seen as only applying to the visually- impaired, sick or elderly, but there is no reason for this to be the case. Everyone can enjoy the experience. And if you don’t have a reader of your own, audio books can be of service.

Reading aloud – and especially with others – does marvellous things and if we are feeling down or anxious or depressed, it may well provide the very lift we require. Though no-one seems to be able to quantify this scientifically, I think there are numerous components to why it soothes us – just like a sleepy child.

Reading aloud to another requires close proximity and feeling close is always a lovely feeling. Listening to a familiar voice telling an unfamiliar story, causes us to concentrate in ways that do not tire us, yet relieves us of more troublesome thoughts. Listening to a book – whether ‘live’ or recorded- encourages mental stimulation, increases our general knowledge and expands our vocabulary.

Knowing that the next ‘episode’ of a book will be read later in the evening, inevitably gives the end of the day a certain delightful anticipation. Sharing a book also provides a subject to discuss that is removed from the quotidian. But what I love best is that it permits us to turn off all the electronic distractions and instead focus on each other and the words on the page. Few would question that bedtime stories are good for children; perhaps it is time to remind ourselves and others that they are good for adults too!

Tag: reading

What I Did Last Summer