This week finds me in a celebratory mood. It was my birthday on Monday and my head is still fizzing with the energy and pleasure of the day. Blessed with azure skies, radiant sunshine and warm temperatures, my friends were able to join me in the garden for Prosecco and cake.
Thinking about the joy this party brought made me ponder the role of celebration in our lives. After a trawl through the cybersphere, I found what I was looking for: proof that celebrations offer more than an opportunity to indulge and socialise. Celebrations provide a chance to engage with others, often across generations; they dramatically improve our sense of well-being and focus our attention on gratitude over indifference.
Need to reduce stress and anxiety? Join a celebration
Hosting a party invariably increases stress, at least in the preparatory stages, but I can’t say that it has ever put me off having more. The pay-off far outweighs the efforts made and if you are lucky enough to be invited to one – even better!
Parties are, to put it in the simplest of terms, good for you. And the science backs this up. While we engage in socialising, our bodies are releasing a cascade of happy chemicals, enhancing our mood. These are: ‘Oxytocin, which is associated with bonding and happiness and is released when you’re around other people; noradrenaline, which skyrockets when you socialize and makes you feel energized and happy; and endorphins, feel-good chemicals that are released when you laugh, dance, and have a drink or two.’ (Dr R Froemke Shape.com)
Further, those celebrations that are part of our national, religious or personal calendar have a soothing effect on our psyche since at most rituals we know what to do and that is, in itself, consoling. Tricia Lavasseur explains that, ‘Laboratory experiments and field studies show that the structured and repetitive actions involved in holiday rituals can act as a buffer against anxiety by making our world a more predictable place.
When Skyping my four-year old granddaughter in the States, she had no difficulty in singing Happy Birthday to her Nana. As she grows, she will have endless opportunities to repeat that rendition and doing so will serve in giving her a tiny anchor of predictability in an unpredictable world.
That time of year again?
I always find it a bit hilarious when folks remark that Christmas has taken them by surprise. After all, it’s the same date every year. And like so many festivals, that is a part of its charm.
Our years are punctuated with such celebrations and there is a great deal of reassurance in that. We are marking, almost like a clock face, the turning of the year and with that acknowledgment (consciously or not) the ever changing and ever returning circle of life.
These fixed festivals give us the joy of anticipation, the pleasure of the day itself and out of the ordinary events upon which to hang the pictures of memory.
Let them eat cake
And festivals seem designed to be remembered. They are replete with sensory experience: physical contact, music, special food and drink, decorations and clothing. All of these help our brains lodge the event in our minds.
Better still, each time we repeat these pleasurable experiences, our memories are triggered to previous ones and our joy is intensified.
Re-Connecting
This year’s party felt especially precious after two long years of celebratory desert. It is wonderful to reconnect with friends again and the calendar has been pretty full of such reunions of late. As a result, I feel more energised and more cheerful than I have in a long time. If I need to rest the day after a party, so be it. But I would not miss it for the world.
And this kind of lift has quite far reaching effects, boosting our mental energy and making us better at decision making and coping with difficulty. (Dr Madeleine, thevidaconsultancy.com)
A chance to show you care and get creative
Celebrations are a perfect opportunity to show that you care. It is not the cost of the gift that counts, however, but the degree to which the giver has considered your particular interests. Mine were full of flowers and books and journals, vegan treats and gardening gifts.
Realising that people know you is a boost in itself. We all want that. While expensive, generic gifts may be what the shops want you to buy, it is the personal ones that are treasured.
Some used the occasion to bring their creativity to the fore with wonderful cards or brownies baked for my guests. Saving your host time in the kitchen is especially thoughtful. (My husband made the cake and sacrificed half his day off to waitering and washing dishes.) With the cost of living rising at a startling rate, we would be wise to remember that showing our affection need not cost us more than we can afford.
Tiny celebrations
Don’t have a date in the diary for a celebration? Don’t despair. Research shows that a tiny party of just four guests can be perfect too. Ask the neighbours round for a coffee or glass of something. Make it easy, so that they can return the favour and you can repeat the experience. Lock-down limitations have shown that an enjoyable event does not need to be an extravagant, highly populated one.
Make celebrations part of your day. My students are deep in revision for GCSEs at the moment and I’ve reminded them to fit little breaks into their schedule to reward themselves and celebrate learning what they have.
Personally, I love marking my day with micro parties for one. Taking time to make a proper mug of chai or coffee elevates the moment into something more than a refreshment break. Get out the good china, if you have it. A little self-care might well lift your mood enough to get you through those chores with a smile.
Getting in the mood
If none of the above has awakened your inner party animal, I have one last gambit. Music, above all, has a wonderful way of putting us in the mood. Just think of all the family weddings you have attended where suddenly the dance-floor is flooded because the DJ has selected exactly the right tune. It’s probably corny and almost definitely old, but it triggers within us memories of more carefree times. So, all you 1970’s disco divas, this one’s for you.