One of the many curious paradoxes of life is this: when you are most in need of help, you will benefit the most in giving it. Let me explain.
Giving is probably one of the most empowering of human behaviours and when one has been dis-empowered by ill-health, misfortune or just life hurling lemons, this is the antidote. It enables us to regain our self-respect and the respect of others; it connects us with the community when we are feeling most isolated and not only does it make us feel happier, it creates a field of contentment in those around us too.
And if you are thinking that you are unable to contribute anything: think again. Each of us has our own unique abilities when it comes to giving -from hiking Mount Kilimanjaro for charity to shaking a collection tin at the shopping centre.
But I will make one condition here. Our giving must be done willingly and with love. We all know how horrible it is to be on the receiving end of a ‘good deed’ that has been done begrudgingly. If anything, it makes us feel worse rather than better. So don’t let me or anyone else bully you into giving! It will come as naturally as breathing if we just let it.
And if you feel the urge? Go ahead!
Social interaction
When you are volunteering, you are likely to be amongst people who share your passion. Perhaps you want to save the planet or support your local hospital or make some tiny, positive difference in an unequal world. Here, you do not need to argue your case to disinterested listeners, instead you are with people who agree with you and are working towards the same aim.
Interacting with like-minded souls is always a good experience. Why else do people join clubs and societies? By doing this in a voluntary setting, you are improving your social life and getting the additional benefits of giving. In some instances, strong bonds of friendship will form. (I can’t count how many great friends I have found this way) and in others, they will remain companionable colleagues.
But whatever happens, you will be among caring people and that, in itself, is uplifting. By volunteering for an hour a week or several, you are creating a structure to your days and avoiding that most dreadful of fates: social isolation.
The gift that keeps on giving
I volunteer for my local Citizens Advice in Research and Campaigns team. I love my colleagues and I love the challenges that the work gives me. We have been able to make some very real and beneficial changes to the lives of those in temporary accommodation in the town and even won the Citizens Advice national award for it.
As the lead researcher, I learnt a great deal both about housing and how to persuade people to do the right thing. Perhaps my greatest discovery was that when you give others the tools, information and support to make positive change, more often than not, they do. By the end, our main accommodation provider was asking us for suggestions on improvements!
The whole experience confirmed the research on giving. The original manager we worked with, listened with interest to what I said, and this boosted my self-worth. He instigated some changes to improve his accommodation: an on-site laundry and welcome letter are two examples. As a consequence, the clients felt more comfortable and at home and the atmosphere became friendlier. The residence went from a notorious place that no-one wanted to end up in to pleasant one in which to work and live. Giving creates a virtuous knock on effect: one action prompting another in a cascade of kindness.
Flexible hours
Unlike most jobs, volunteering comes with hours to suit. If an hour a week is all you can manage, that hour will be valued. If you can do more, that’s brilliant. Most charities are grateful for whatever you can give and are understanding when you are not well enough to come in.
With an unpredictable disease like MS, flexibility is key. As a researcher, most of my work is done at home and when I am most able and if I have meetings, I’ll ensure I rest before and after. Though standard employment is not an option for me, volunteering offers an opportunity to use my abilities and energy (when I have it!) in a positive way.
Go for it
Before I started at Citizens Advice, I took a little volunteering sabbatical. In the past, I was often nudged into roles rather than choosing them. Though I do not regret any, this time, I wanted to do something that I especially cared about (social justice) and take a position that would enable me to use my full range of skills. It took quite a few months of searching to find the perfect fit, but it was worth the investment. I would recommend that you take your time too.
Charities have an almost infinite variety of positions available from home visitors to fund-raisers. You should be able to find out about these from their website or talking to volunteers. If you find something you think you would like, perhaps ask if you can spend a day shadowing someone or simply meet the team. If they are a good fit, go for it. If not, there will be somewhere that is. Charities spend a great deal of energy on new recruits and they want you for the long haul, not just a week or two. By taking the time to find the right place and position, everyone benefits.
Something only you know
Each of us is unique and our own experiences may well be of assistance to others. Part of my motivation in writing this blog was to give a voice to those suffering from MS. Not everyone is well enough to do this and certainly not everyone would want to, but by giving an ‘insider’s view’, I hoped to make it easier for others to relate to their friends and relations who may also have chronic conditions or even give them the confidence to ask (as people very rarely do) what it is like.
Others may use their experiences to help those recently diagnosed or those treating them. Below is a fantastic example of using a personal perspective to help those in the healthcare industry to do their jobs even more brilliantly. This talk is an absolutely inspiring look at how, even in the very worst circumstances, giving time to others can heal and empower.
If there is anyone who epitomises the philosophy of this blog, it is Lucy, for whom life has given a whole truckload of lemons.