‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the house, There was baking and wrapping; the click of a mouse. Yes, we are almost there and for me, this is the best part. Cards have been written and gifts (largely) wrapped. The headache of what to get for whom, of making things and decorating is over – now is the time to enjoy.
This morning involved my favourite activity – the distribution of gifts. My husband kindly drove me around town, dropping me off for a short chat with friends. What a treat to interact with people in 3D, despite masks and social distancing. Because this is what the season is all about, surely. Here is our opportunity to show that we care for one another. In the hustle and bustle of the every day, it is easy to overlook how much we value our friends. Yet, at Christmas, our goodwill embraces loved ones near and far and even, for a short, magical while, to everyone we meet.
Christmas for many, especially women, has become a marathon to be run; a trial to be endured. How frequently we become burdened with insane expectations. The Martha Stewarts of this world have a lot to answer for. Of course, this misses the point entirely. Perhaps it is time to re-evaluate.
Festivals are moulded by convention, but whether we adhere to them or not is really up to us – there is no Christmas police. Take the Christmas card. It was invented by Henry Cole, who was looking for a time-saving solution to the fashion for sending Christmas wishes via ‘decorated letterheads and visiting cards’ (V&A). This was a trend he himself had encouraged to boost the postal service and especially the Penny Post. Many friends have chosen not to send cards this year and instead are giving to charity, which is eminently sensible if card writing is a chore you’d rather avoid. I love making and sending cards, so I shall continue. I also depend upon the Post Office, so in addition to our usual donations, I shall be making one to Royal Mail – via stamps!
The same holds true for Christmas meals. With so many folks unable to host family this year, they are choosing to make something that is far more in line with what they enjoy than what is expected. We’ll be having a woodland nut roast. Another friend will have lamb. If everyone in attendance loves turkey with all the trimmings, that’s great – just remember to get them into the kitchen to help you prepare the potatoes and sprouts or contribute a pudding. Cooking together is a wonderful and often hilarious activity (a glass of wine helps); cooking alone while others lounge on the sofa eating chocolate is an embittering chore.
With no-one able to visit, decorations too have become optional. Some folks have barely bothered, others, like myself have gone a little overboard. Christmas may be a little quieter this year, but there is no reason not to show one’s enthusiasm with lights and elves and reindeer.
My motto has been leave no surface (undecorated) behind and on these dark nights and slightly worrying days, these very decorations have served to cheer me.
This afternoon, I made some sloe gin muffins to pop in the freezer for Christmas Day morning. The sloe gin I’d made in October is now ready and after decanting it, I didn’t want to waste all those delicious sloes. Removing the stones took a little while, but there was no rush, only an opportunity for mindfulness. With Christmas music in the background and my husband making dinner by my side, it was a lovely experience.
I made the muffins because I wanted to. There was no obligation – only a chance to try a new recipe. We need to hold strong to doing things not out of duty but out of love. We need to blow away those clinging cobwebs of convention and embrace what brings us – and just as importantly, others – joy.
The early Quakers – devout though they were – did not celebrate Christmas or any other feast day. For them, every day was sacred and should be valued as such. Though most modern Quakers, and the rest of us, do enjoy these special celebrations, perhaps a balance can be struck.
Christmas Day is both wonderful and ordinary. Its brilliance lies in the efforts we make to contact loved ones, share gifts and food. It reminds us to be our best selves. And if we remember, simultaneously, that is it just a normal day, perhaps we can take the stress of perfectionism out of it.
Better still, we can carry the essence of the season throughout the year. Cards, gifts, fellowship and sharing food is not just for Christmas. An unexpected card will always bring a smile, as will a little ‘unbirthday’ gift. We can share food with the needy through Food Banks and drop samples of our creations round to friends. Christmas Day marks the turning of the year – towards light, life and hope. It offers us a new beginning, as every day does. Let’s make the most of it.
Which leaves me to wish you a Very Merry Christmas! And I look forward to joining you in the New Year. Much love, Karen