Winter – When Life Gives You Lemons

For a very long time, I seriously disliked winter. I saw it as a boring interlude between fiery autumn and delicate spring. January especially seemed to drag for an eternity. But now, I adore winter, as I love all the seasons, for the very special gifts that it brings. Join me and let me show you why.

The weather outside is frightful

We Brits enjoy nothing more than discussing the weather, and the winter months certainly give us plenty to talk about. These last few weeks, we’ve seen strong winds, days of fog, rain, sunshine and hereabouts, snow.

With an energetic cocker spaniel to exercise, not going out is hardly an option (though Hermione draws the line at heavy rain). So away we go, regardless of the conditions. Even if the weather is not ‘nice’ it is has its music too (to misquote Keats).

For days, we had such heavy fog that it was as if the clouds had dropped from the sky to earth. Sound was muffled and visibility poor (see above left). It was a little eerie, but also magical – this still, soft world that looked as if it were covered with tracing paper. Today (above right) the sky was rinsed blue and the light piercingly bright. Each branch and twig was gilded with sunlight and the air icy fresh.

‘There is no such thing as bad weather…

only unsuitable clothing ,’ (Alfred Wainwright, Coast to Coast ) is as true now as when it was written fifty+ years ago. Only now, we have the advantage of high-tech fabrics to protect us from the most severe weather.

Investing in a proper rain jacket (or even better a Dryrobe) means that no weather will defeat your plans. And I love nothing better than being snuggled up in a warm coat with gloves and a scarf and feeling the cold on my face. Few things will wake you up more effectively than a blast of freezing air: it is completely invigorating.

**Keeping toasty** Image: Jeff Costello-McFeat

On our recent trip to the Highlands, the thermometer rarely rose above five degrees centigrade and the weather was, quite frankly, awful, but it barely dented our spirits, as we were kitted out to cope. Even the stinging rain and strong winds that assaulted us as we walked along Nairn beach was stimulating rather than miserable. Our faces were scrubbed clean and rosy by the time we got back into the dry of the cafe. And a hot chocolate never tasted so good or felt so welcome.

Contrast is what makes life interesting

Winter is a time of deep contrast. We leave our centrally heated homes into the chilly air outside; we combat the short dark days by filling our rooms with fairy lights and candles; we take a rest from the hectic pace of spring and summer. As with light and dark, we cannot appreciate one without the other. Artists love winter, because deep structures are exposed and the light (when we are graced with it) is especially sharp.

With the sun low, and setting so early, we are also able to witness the most glorious sunsets.

That which does not kill us

Facing adversity – even in as basic a way as facing the elements when they are not favourable – is an important way to build resilience. Wim Hof has made millions (deservedly) through showing people how to learn mental strength through physical challenge – including the cold.

Taking the time to take a walk outside (appropriately dressed) is the easiest and most enjoyable way of boosting one’s mood. Add a friend and a coffee date afterwards and it is positively perfect. With the January blues affecting so many of us this month, it is a prescription I would recommend.

Acceptance

The most radical change that has occurred in me is the simple acceptance of the weather – whatever form it takes. If you are struggling with the idea of living in the moment, perhaps start here. We cannot do a single thing to change or improve it. If it is miserable, it will pass. If it is fine, that will pass also.

We can complain or be grumpy or we can embrace it. Through searching for the beauty (and you may have to work hard at that in the beginning) it helps us see beauty in other things too.

Winter is an essential phase in the cycle of the year and we may find that winter, in the metaphorical sense, is an essential part of our lives too. But to avoid stretching your patience too much, I shall consider that next week.

**Tree tops in winter** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Ceaseless rain, freezing temperatures, days that seem to end before they have begun. Is it any wonder then that January, following so close on the heals of the sparkling festive season, often leaves us feeling down? The third Monday in January (the 17th this year) is often referred to as Blue Monday. We may have passed that date, but I think all of us need a little lift during the final weeks of winter. So I have compiled a list of suggestions to help you feel your best, whatever the weather.

**Look familiar?** Image: Valentin Muller on Unsplash

Brew Monday

I read in the news recently how the Samaritans have come up with an inspired idea for transforming a dull day into a bright, social one. Their Brew Monday campaign hopes to encourage us to use this date to get in touch and have a chat with a cup of tea to hand. Like the Macmillan coffee mornings, it is a good way to support a wonderful charity and if you’d like to take part next year or get suggestions for a meaningful conversation this, here’s the link: https://www.samaritans.org/support-us/campaign/brew-monday/

**A comforting cuppa** Image: Dayne Topkin on Unsplash

In this link, the Samaritans also offer suggestions on how to develop good listening skills. It is a skill that we do not give sufficient attention to. If you are going to talk to someone who is really feeling down, it might be an idea to check here first. If we are not sensitive to the needs of the speaker, we may make the situation worse rather than better.

When to turn to the professionals

We all want to help a friend in need and often we can, but we should also be aware of our limitations. Sometimes friends and loved ones have problems that are far beyond our expertise. When this is the case, the most help we can provide is in guiding them to someone who is trained to deal with these issues: a bereavement counsellor, their GP or even the Samaritans. We can always offer to accompany them on a visit.

Equally, we need to protect and nourish ourselves. Counsellors have their own counsellors to help them deal with the often distressing information that is shared with them. Give as much as you can, but if it is impacting you negatively, it is time to step back. It is too easy with those we love to both spiral into despair.

**Spending time together** Image: Jarritos Mexican soda on Unsplash

Practical solutions

Talking is not the only cure for the winter blues: spending time outside and exercising always enhances mood. If you are able to do that in the company of others, even better. Taking the dog to the puppy park each day has been my salvation. It may be freezing, but wrapped up in several layers, the cold can feel invigorating. There are always dogs who fancy a cuddle (including Hermione, who spends quite a lot of time on my lap) and I’m sure the act of stroking soft fur is itself soothing. Folks come and go. Some are regulars, who are becoming friends. Others may only give a cheery wave. In a time when so many of us feel rather isolated, even this modest connection helps.

Should leaving the warmth of the home not appeal, we can keep our spirits up by taking time to be creative in whatever way suits us best. I find having something to show for my day always makes me happy. Today, I baked bread after a few weeks off and was delighted to have something comforting to eat for my lunch and plenty for days to come. I experience a similar joy when I make a card for a friend or complete a small project. Perhaps the rule is to take time to do those things which make you happy, whether they be martial arts training or flower arranging. If we find ourselves too time poor to engage in anything that we love, we should consider a life audit!

**Few things beat a homemade loaf**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Embrace the season

This morning I was chatting in the puppy park with someone about the length of days. He said that he hated the short days of winter and longed for summer. I get that, but the shorter days can also be a boon. They give us an opportunity to physically and mentally regroup. Like the trees, which seem dormant throughout winter, we are just gathering our energies for the more active seasons to come.

Parts of Scandinavia are dark almost all day throughout winter. There is no point in fighting it, so they work with it instead. They take up winter sports and bake and make their homes more ‘hygge’. This year, I thought I would adopt some of these ideas and filled the house with twinkly lights and candles, blankets for snuggling under when watching TV and investing in quality knitwear. I make gallons of homemade soup and ‘spoil’ myself with good hot chocolate. All of these make me, and the day, seem brighter.

Of course, I still check the garden for the first signs of spring and look forward to the period when I won’t have to wear quite so many layers. That said, winter is proving to be much less of a burden this year than usual, despite the strange times we live in. I may be looking forward to spring, but for now, winter will do nicely.

Tag: Winter

Embracing the season