As many of you already know, my son is getting married in Maine, USA, in just over a week. It hardly feels like a year ago that we were celebrating his engagement in our garden, and yet here we are preparing to set out for the main (pun intended) event.
To say that the intervening year has been fraught would be an understatement, but we have resolved what we can and are now desperate to reunite with my family, friends and new relations.
Though we hadn’t met Genevieve until last August, we have got to know her well since and are absolutely delighted that she will be our daughter-in-law.
The prequel: the engagement party
All my bags are packed; I’m ready to go
Well, not quite. I have my wedding outfit and shoes and some sense of what I need to pack. Unfortunately, Maine’s weather fluctuates wildly, but a quick peek at the forecast suggests that we’ll be in the 70s during the time we’re there. I’ll definitely need a light coat, as the evening temperature is unlikely to be much above 5o degrees.
We’re leaving our home and Hermione in Mariia’s capable hands, and no doubt the house will be much tidier on our return.
Of course, my head is filled with lists and all the tasks that must be done – not least wrapping gifts and making cards. With my husband’s 60th birthday on Friday, I don’t want his special day to get submerged in the preparations, so I’m trying to keep some time for him.
That faraway date is now upon us Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
All weddings take so much more mental and physical energy than seems proportionate to the events of a day, but, of course, it is not simply a day but a life that is being defined by those few hours.
By surrounding the betrothed with those who love them, with feasting and dancing, we are helping launch them into matrimony with the best start possible. Nurtured in love, we hope to give them the ideal soil in which to grow together.
We are all aware that life doesn’t always go to plan, yet in attending the wedding we are saying, essentially, ‘We are there for you.’ We look forward to rejoicing in good times and hope to console you in more troubled ones. Just as it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a community of friends and family to support a marriage.
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
The next two weeks will pass in a blur of travel and celebrations, so there will be no time to write my blog. I hope that you enjoy these last few weeks of summer as much as I intend to and look forward to sharing all my adventures with you upon my return.
The title of this week’s post was suggested by my husband. With my brain whirring around like the spin cycle of a washing machine, I was happy for any help he could give.
In general, my life is lived according to the laws of Murphy : whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. As proof, last week BA cancelled our flights to America and the venue for my son’s rehearsal dinner had a fire. (The restaurant was called, wonderfully ironically, Blaze!) One has to find humour where one can.
Our plans up-ended, we had to scramble for new flights and a new itinerary. All is well – for now, at least.
Because, although life flings its arrows at us in the most random ways, it also brings joy and beauty at unexpected moments. The trick is to remember that delight is always possible even in the darkest times. We just need to be open to it.
The road less travelled by
Which way should we go? Image Colin Smith on Wikipedia
My husband and I are inveterate brown sign spotters. Ambling along the road, we invariably veer off if there seems to be a place of any interest on the way. More often that not, these spontaneous diversions take us to the most interesting spots. Often too, the detour takes us to less known destinations and thus we get to enjoy them all to ourselves. The sense of discovery, of a ruined castle or old bell tower, only adds to the joy. A planned route has much to recommend it, but flexibility here, as elsewhere in life may serve us well also.
Naturally delightful
There is very little in nature that is predictable – ask any farmer. She may pelt us with rain and ruffle us with wind for days on end, but even on her most seemingly spiteful days, there is the possibility of an unexpected pleasure. (This might only be that the rain stops long enough for us to get outside.)
Yesterday morning, needing a little rest, I escaped for twenty minutes to my hammock to recover. Hermione was with the dog walker, so I was relieved of ball throwing duties.
Sanctuary Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
At first, I simply enjoyed the quiet and a chance to rest my legs. Then I began to take note of my surroundings. The magpies were chattering noisily again and other little unseen birds were calling to each other. A few butterflies flitted across to the vegetable patch and dozens of little wasps dipped into the flower heads of the rocket.
The air, which had seemed empty, filled the longer that I looked at it with tiny insects whirling in the sunshine.
View from the hammock Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
It was delightfully warm and the trees gave me shade and a colourful palette of leaves. Those few minutes stretched out and became strangely timeless. Totally refreshed, I set about my busy schedule feeling blessed by nature.
We routinely find joy in the outside world – especially the coast. The sea is anything but predicable, so it is an unexpected joy to find a day warm enough and the sea calm enough to swim – as we did on Wednesday.
My husband is rather more hard core and goes out in all weathers to paddle board and surf. Occasionally, the seal that lives in the local marina, comes out to join him and he once spotted a walrus – yes, really. He posted his discovery online, only to be endlessly ridiculed with comments like, ‘Did you see the egg man too?’ He was vindicated weeks later when the site administrator wrote to him saying a walrus had indeed wandered into our waters, but they didn’t want people bothering him.
Sources of joy
We have all enjoyed the delight of surprise when we receive an act of kindness: a cutting from a favourite plant, cake or gifts, but joy can be found in less common ways too.
One of my greatest pleasures is receiving cards and letters in the post. They have that wonderful element of randomness to make them extra special. I’ve upcycled an old toast rack to store my correspondence, which reminds me that I owe Jenny a letter.
News from a friend is always a joy Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
If a letter seems too daunting a task, a note or a postcard gives an almost equal thrill with a great deal less effort.
A well turned phrase
Books have always been more than a form of entertainment for me. They are rather black holes that suck me into different times and worlds; allowing me to live life along the principles of string theory where I can be both here and there simultaneously.
I have read several excellent books recently – both fiction and non-fiction. Along with good plots and well conceived characters, the joy of reading includes the pleasure in discovering the well-turned phrase. Placing ‘the best words in the best order’ as Coleridge defined poetry, is much harder than one would think. Finding these little scraps of genius within a text always makes me smile.
There are so many places and ways that we can find unexpected joys that I cannot hope to cover them here. Keeping onself open to their possibility is sometimes hard, but always worthwhile.
I hope this week brings you much joy where you had expected none and perhaps you can share those moments with us in the comments.
Of the many and varied irritations of my MS, fatigue is the worst. It shortens my day to a mere twelve hours and addles my brain for many more. On really bad days, I stumble through a fog of sleepiness until it finally lifts, leaving me a few precious hours to achieve anything.
Of course, we all feel tired sometimes, but chronic fatigue is more like illness than a need for rest. Imagine a bad hang-over combined with jet lag, all your limbs filled with lead and you’ll get the picture. And frustratingly, it is not cured by a good night’s rest (sometimes you wake up fatigued) nor a quiet day, though this helps. It simply needs time to dissipate.
Helpful habits
That said, I have developed some habits that at least lesson its ill effects. I have worked on a sleep routine that allows for both maximum sleep/rest and minimum fatigue interference during the day. Shortly after the dog goes to bed at nine pm, so do I. My husband reads to me (excellent way to relax) and I eventually nod off. Ironically, no matter how exhausted I am, sleep seldom comes quickly and I lie for some time listening enviously to my husband’s gentle snores.
When I finally do get to sleep, it is often interrupted by my night cough, dead/painful limbs or other irritations. However, by staying in bed until nine the following morning, I’ve usually had enough rest to face the day.
Ahhh! Sleep. Image: David Clode on Unsplash
Since not too much happens in the evening or night-time, I get my rest without missing out. Though I would like to see an evening movie or play, a matinee is a better option.
Nap time
You might think that a ten or eleven hour ‘sleep’ would be enough for anyone. But sadly, no. As for toddlers and grannies, nap time is a must and I get cranky or over-tired if I miss my post-lunch doze. Hermione has one then too and ensures that I do not exceed the half hour mark. Most of us benefit from a post-prandial power nap, so whether you have fatigue of not, a sneaky fifteen minutes will do you good!
My furry sleeping companion and alarm Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
You can’t do everything
As a naturally busy person, not being able to do all the things that I enjoy is a source of great frustration. I want to be likemy friends who regularly travel up to London for an exhibition or a show or even both. I want to be like the ones who go on wonderful hikes across the countryside and still have the energy to do the same the next day. I would like to be able to hold a conversation with someone for more than two hours without being exhausted afterwards.
Our amazing capital filled with interest is a bit too much for me Image: Luke Stackpoole on Unsplash
But as the song says, ‘You can’t always get what you want.’ On special occasions, I will stretch my limits, but the price will need to be paid after. I suspect that after travelling to Maine for my son’s wedding, I may need to sleep for a week!
But you can do something
It’s taken me a long time to accept the limitations that MS puts on my life-style and I have not always faced it with good grace. There has been much swearing and a desire to throw china. Even now, I am not totally Zen about it, but I am more accepting.
What has helped the most is the realisation that no matter how fit and well you are, your life is not entirely your own. Perhaps you have a job, or family or responsibilities that take up your time. Few of us really have all day except after retirement. At fifty-nine, I had hoped to be pursuing a career, but no-one wants someone who falls asleep at their desk. So I gradually wound down my teaching and retired.
Unlike most of my peers, I have a twelve hour day in which I can do some things. Perhaps I can’t do wildly exciting things, but I can do much.
Yesterday, I took a friend to the amazing Barbara Hepworth exhibition at the Towner gallery here in Eastbourne. The day before I enjoyed a coffee with a friend over-looking East Dean green in the sunshine. It was idyllic. On Monday, my craft friends came and made me laugh.
It is a privilege to be able to pursue art and writing, to help others and to enjoy my garden. All these would be denied me working full-time in an office. It seems that MS has its up-side after all.
Embrace the moment
Most of all, my condition and the knowledge that it will reduce my life-expectancy somewhat, has not made me indifferent but rather greedy for life. If I am awake, I plan to enjoy every minute.
Very few hours are spent on social media except to communicate with those I care about. Little more than an hour is spent on television in the evening. Anything not terribly important (read housework) is kept to a minimum. Because in the end, we are all time poor. What matters is taking the hours we are given and enjoying them for the blessing they are.
Perhaps it is the unrelenting wind and rain this summer, or perhaps it is our age, but I find more and more often conversations run to the negative than its opposite.
As someone struggling with fatigue and trying to keep an even keel so that I can support others, I long for good news and positivity. And deep down, I’m sure that we all do.
Something to make you smile. Image: Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
Of course, the media does not help, focusing as it does on catastrophe, murder and scandal. I confess, I only scan the headlines so as to have some idea as to what is going on in the world. The rest I leave. Because if I were to take the news as the foundation of my world view, it would be very depressing indeed.
Negativity and health
I was curious to discover what, if anything, our outlook did to our health. Instinctively, I knew that too much negativity would be bad for you. I just had no idea how bad.
Doctors have found that people with high levels of negativity are more likely to suffer from degenerative brain diseases, cardiovascular problems, digestive issues, and recover from sickness much slower than those with a positive mindset.
Since negative thinking goes hand in hand with stress, it should come as no surprise that it leads to some very serious health outcomes. Stress in moderation is a vital part of our self-defence; in excess, it is lethal.
Perception is all
Somehow, I doubt anyone will thank me for saying this, but stress and negativity have very little to do with our actual circumstances and everything to do with our mindset. More often than not, the most negative people are those whose lives are, by any measure, comfortable. Think of the constant complaints of the privileged. When your life is all but perfect, any slight annoyance becomes an enormous, personal affront. (Think of Charles III and his broken fountain pen.)
Harsh but true Image: Photo by Miguel Luis on Unsplash
In contrast, those who have least, or who are or have dealt with very real difficulties are often the most cheerful. Having survived the worst, they are not phased by life’s little annoyances.
My dear friend, Mary, who has dealt with enormous challenges, is one of the most positive people I know and meeting with her always uplifts the spirits. Each day, she sends a beautiful picture or image and looks always for the good. If it’s raining, the flowers are happy! Here’s today’s:
I confess, I was about to moan about the mighty wind that is scrambling my brains and testing my sanity (we live on top of a hill and the noise is horrible!) but reading this I was forced to shift my view.
Please be assured that I am not being flippant here. I fully appreciate that some are struggling with depression and other mental health issues – I am no stranger to depression myself. We may need medical assistance for dealing with it, but the recommendations for positive mental health hold true for all of us. We may just take a little longer or more practice to get there.
The good news
Because the good news is that since negativity is a mental state, we have it in our power to change it. This is hard to do when you’re down, but not impossible.
Wading through brain fog and the distress of my diagnosis in 2015, I took Jon Kabat-Zinn’s advice and began meditation – forty minutes every day for eight weeks. And it worked and continues to work, though I don’t meditate so formally now.
Because much of our stress comes from what we fear in the future. Post relapse, I had reason to fear the worst. I still must live with the Damocles sword of the constant threat of further deterioration, but by focussing on the present, I am able to deal with what I have now. And most importantly, when we liberate ourselves from the paralysing effects of fear, we are better able to find ways to address our issues.
Often, we can turn a negative into a positive if we set our minds to the task. My diet and life-style are not very exciting and I’d love to eat what I wanted and drink with friends, but it would not be wise. Fortunately, my efforts have paid off in better health than I could have imagined eight years on and better mental health than I’ve ever had. Though taking action can sometimes seem impossible, taking control will always make us feel a little better no matter what the result. (In the worst case scenario, at least we know we tried.)
Practice optimism
Optimistic and pessimistic outlooks are forged in our brain as habit. Every time we have a negative response, it follows the same neural pathways and strengthens them. Changing that will take time and a lot of discipline. Bree Maloney suggests that every time you have a negative thought, you counter it with three positive ones. Practising gratitude is also a great antidote. Being with other, positive people also enhances our positivity.
Thinking of others and showing kindness, I’d argue, brings positivity back to ourselves. My lovely friend in America sent me cheery cards when I was dealing with Covid. These uplifting missives definitely improved my mood and helped my recovery. Knowing that I valued them, sent my friend good vibes too.
Sending positivity
Turning it around
The title of this post comes from a famous Andrew Sisters’ song written during World War Two. Folks had plenty to complain about, but this song, and many others, recognised that difficulties are part of life. When we accept that things will not always be perfect, value what we have and look always for the good, no matter what life throws at us, we can be content.
Six months after an inattentive colleague of Postman Pat ploughed into my beloved convertible and wrote it off, I have been continuing my little experiment on assessing whether I need a car at all. No doubt my answer will be a surprise to many of you as, for me, it is a definite no.
My sentiments at the time! Image: Claudio Schwartz on Unsplash
Nothing new
Not having a car isn’t something that is especially new to me. I didn’t have one until after the birth of my second child and nor did I have one while my eldest took his engineering degree. The cost of running my car went to his accommodation fund instead.
The difference was that then I was fit and walked or cycled everywhere. I preferred moving about this way and often arrived more quickly, relaxed and refreshed through the exercise and fresh air.
Disabled Image: Jakub Pabis on Unsplash
Now, sadly, things are very different. On a good day, I can manage twenty or so minutes and am exhausted thereafter. On a bad day, I won’t make it out the house. Fortunately, the latter is rare and even with limited mobility, one needn’t feel cut off from the world.
Taxis and me
With only one exception, I’ve found taxis to be the perfect solution to my predicament. (I once rashly tried to book one during the school run – no chance!)
The drivers are always courteous and sometimes very kind. My app allows me to track their progress and I seldom wait more than five minutes for one to arrive. Not having to find a parking space near where I need to go nor dealing with rage fuelled drivers is a great relief. It’s rather like the luxury of having one’s own chauffeur.
Taxi! Image: Jordan Brierley on Unsplash
The downside is the expense. At about £6 per ride, it is not cheap. But I have found a way to minimise expense without any undue suffering. Here’s how.
Fuel efficiency
There is nothing like a potential £12 day’s travel cost to focus the mind. So, just as I would try to use my oven efficiently when cooking, I use taxis in the same way. Next week, I have a blood test at my GPs near the town centre. While I’m in the vicinity, I shall get some banking done and my hair cut.
Yesterday, friend came to visit from London and my helpful driver did a U-turn at the station, allowed me to pick her up and continued on to our destination at the art gallery. Thanks Gary!
Mix and match
Of course, there is no need to use taxis all the time. With bus fares at a ridiculously low price (£2 in East Sussex) it makes sense to put this in the mix. Whilst I may use a taxi to get to an appointment on time, I might well use the bus for the return journey. Without a time constraint, buses really are rather good.
An old bus in Brighton Image: Maciek Wrobleswski
I also try to blend a walk with a taxi. My art teacher’s house is just within my capabilities and she will revive me with a delicious coffee when I get there. Since most other forms of exercise are beyond me, this gives my muscles and heart the workout they need.
Share
How often do you watch the traffic and see just one person sitting in the car? Most of the time.
Of course, it isn’t possible always to take others, but equally often, it is. Without doubt it can be a little more time consuming and the passenger needs to be punctual, but when it works, it reduces traffic and gives the driver company.
If you are not able to return the favour of driving, most folks are happy to be bought a coffee or, on a longer drive, to have you pay the petrol. Either way, you both get where you need at a reduced cost and with someone to talk to on the journey.
Just me Image: Igor Starkov on Unsplash
Many cities and towns (far more than I thought, since I found one locally in Seaford) have car sharing options. You go on an app, like Hiyacar, book it for a set period of time and return it when you’re done. It is a very economical service starting at about £5 per hour and a perfect solution for a big shop or trip to family. For anyone living in a city with prohibitive parking restrictions, or no need for a car full-time, it really is a great solution and one that I hope will catch on.
Ready for a challenge?
Though I would probably not suggest going without a car if there is only one in the family, I would certainly suggest trying this if you have two or only use yours occasionally.
Calculate the annual cost of running your car including repairs, Tax, MOT and insurance. To be completely accurate, you should also include depreciation. Divide it by 52. That gives you the weekly cost. Take that money out in cash and keep it separate from your wallet/purse. Every time you need to go somewhere, take the cash and use it to transport you. (Not needed if you are happy to cycle or walk.) Where possible, consider a car or taxi share or other public transport if convenient. At the end of the week (or even better month) calculate what, if anything, you have saved and balance this against any convenience lost. Only you can make that calculation.
For me, my weekly cost, without depreciation, was about £37. (At 20 years old, my car was not depreciating any further.) I never spend anything close to that and can’t say I’ve found being carless inconvenient.
It only takes a week to see if doing without a car is a realistic option. I’m well aware that most people think being without one is a kind of death. It’s not. If anything, it can be liberating not to have to worry about petrol, parking and car repairs.
With climate change literally raging out of control and the cost of living continuing to spiral, a little lateral thinking in regard to our transport needs will do us all good.
Following Mariia’s return, I decided to pick up my Ukrainian studies once more. Having completed the whole of Duolingo, I was feeling rather pleased with myself. Sadly, my confidence was misplaced. Though I’d learned to recognise numerous phrases and plenty vocabulary, I had still barely begun to learn the language. Prescient as always, Mariia returned with a text book and several of her nieces early readers. Having her to direct and guide me was a gift I was not going to ignore, so my battle with this complex language with a whole new alphabet resumed. It was going to be difficult, at times painful, and certainly frustrating, but whenever was learning anything otherwise?
As we grow older, we sometimes eschew the act of learning. We’ve finished school, we’ve sat the exams, we’re good. But as someone who is positively addicted to the process (masochistic tendencies?) I can only say that these trials and small triumphs have given my life much more joy and meaning than almost anything else.
Back to the beginning again
Despite being a naturally inquisitive person who wants to know how to do everything, I have a more pressing reason to torture my grey cells and consume my free hours. MS is a degenerative disease and the only way to combat the incursion of legions on my brain is to rewire it. A wonderful fellow patient in the hospital introduced me to neuroplasticity via a Ted Talk. Here’s a wee video for those new to the concept: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmEOJyWVQj4
Languages have always fascinated me and they have the additional benefit of being really good for your brain. Since we are determined to visit Mariia in Ukraine one day, what better excuse did I need?
Ukrainian for beginners Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
These beginners books are more than testing my skills, but I will get there eventually. The text book is sadly only in Ukrainian (hard core teaching), so Mariia must be my guide. But for those of you who are interested, the title says, ‘Ukrainian language for foreigners – step by step’. Now you can speak a little Ukrainian too.
Learning a new craft
At craft club one of our members is learning to crochet. And dexterous tasks are as beneficial as cerebral ones. Needless to say, there is quite a lot of cursing and ‘I can’t do this’ to which we all reply ‘Yes, you can!’
Those of us who are able to crochet, remember very vividly dropping stitches, losing tension and getting in tangles. It is a bit like riding a bike. A lot of falling precedes success, but when that magic moment comes when fingers and hook work in harmony, you know that practice is all you need to master the art.
A beginner’s brooch Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
I’m still rather a novice, but one of our members has confessed to being a bit of an expert. I suspect that my crochet hooks will be coming out of the cupboard as soon as I finish my current project. There is a blanket that I’d like to do and I could do with some help…
Growing
As my obsession with the garden has grown, so has my desire to begin at the plant’s conception. Nursery plants are wonderful and, of course, I indulge from time to time. However, many of these plants are treated with quite toxic chemicals and if I want to maintain my garden as completely organic, I have to grow from seed. Also, that is what they tell me proper gardeners do.
Unfortunately, neither of my parents were too keen on gardening, so I’ve had to learn largely by myself and more often by letting nature guide me. The trial by error approach is a little more time-consuming, but it is a very good way to learn. Failures abound but triumphs are even sweeter as a result.
My dwarf sunflowers below were sourced from a seed swap event and miraculously, six of the seven have grown beautifully.
Sometimes you win …
And sometimes you lose
As a fan of sunflowers, it’s taken me a while to work out how to get them to maturity without the slugs and snails picnicking on them. The trick, it seems, is to grow them in a cold frame or greenhouse until their stems are thick and hairy. Gastropods, it transpires, are no fans of the hirsute.
Teaching difficulties
It is not only learning that is difficult, teaching is too. When you know how to do something effortlessly, trying to show someone how to do it in a way that makes sense is seriously hard.
My husband had mentioned that he wanted to learn to bake bread. ‘Oh, it’s very simple,’ I blithely replied having completely forgotten the years of slightly wonky loaves and the frustratingly vague recipes I used whilst I was learning.
So this weekend, I showed him how, trying to explain at each step why I did what I did. At times, he reminded me of my recalcitrant students. Warning: teaching adults is no easier than teenagers.
Despite the odd moment of losing patience, we made it and were still friends at the end. It took twice as long as usual and I had to restrain myself from taking over. Because that is the trap that is so easy to fall into. Teaching means allowing the other to take their time and work it out.
The result was two very delicious loaves. My husband was duly pleased with his achievements and I with surviving the teaching role. In future, I shall merely supervise until he is confident to do it without me.
Myhusband’s first loaves Image: Jeff Costello-McFeat
So many of us have skills we take for granted that might be helpful to others. While learning is good for us, teaching is too. We are forced to analyse our knowledge and pass it on in an understandable way. I have benefitted from the kindness of so many others whose abilities exceed mine. I hope that if you have some expertise, you will share it also. It may be difficult, but it will certainly be rewarding.
The three part approach
When working on this post, I came across a mini poster I had kept as a reminder that cooking and learning require three essential ingredients: Patience, practice and presence.
Good advice Image: design by Michael Pollan
Patience to allocate the time and energy required to achieve your objective and the understanding that few things of any worth are achieved in an instant. Any one who has learned an instrument or a language is aware that the process takes years rather than months.
Practice little and often for the best results. Managing one’s goals is important too. If we focus on the achievable and practice regularly, we will almost certainly get there and the buzz we get from success will spur us on. And as our mastery grows, the five minute practice can expand to the forty-five minute one, because it has become a pleasure rather than a chore.
Presence is key to success in all things, but is, I believe, too often ignored. Only when we give our tasks our full attention can we hope for success. If you are trying to learn something new, take care to give yourself adequate time and remove other distractions, or your results may not be what you desire.
As the long summer stretches ahead of us, perhaps it is a good time to learn something new. Or perhaps you could teach someone a skill. The only questions remaining are: What would you like to try? And what are you waiting for?
With food prices rising at an alarming rate (19% at its highest this year) and utility bills skyrocketing, it seemed like a good time to look at some ways of combatting the increasing cost of living without compromising on life-style. As anyone who follows this blog knows, I am a total foodie. Whenever possible, I buy organic and the best quality that I can, but I do believe with a little forethought and effort, we can keep our household bills within acceptable limits without sacrificing quality.
As a bonus, most of these tips are environmentally friendly too, since they reduce energy use and waste.
Fuel efficiency
Okay, not the sexiest topic, but I’m sure we are all despairing at the monthly payments on our heating and electric bills. There is plenty information on-line to help with this, but two easy ones are to simply turn your heating down one degree in winter and turn your hot water temperature down a notch. Most of us won’t notice a small change in heat but will notice the decrease in charges.
Tiny pot on tiny flame Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Low energy cooking
Microwaves, slow-cookers, pressure cookers and air-fryers are all great ways to reduce energy costs, but I do not have space in the kitchen for such things. However, they are not vital if you follow a few basic steps.
Put a lid on it! Food cooks much faster and at a lower heat this way.
Let it cook itself. I cook almost everything using residual heat. By bringing to a full boil and then switching off, with the lid on, most vegetables, soups and beans will cook fully without any further heat at all. (You can always give it a quick blast at the end if needed.)
Soak before you cook. By rinsing and soaking rice and beans before cooking, you can reduce the cooking times by about half. Great news for those of us who use brown rice.
Match the pot with the hob. Putting a small pan on a big one simply heats the air.
Fill the oven. If one of the items you are cooking requires an oven, fill the rest with vegetables rather than boiling them separately. If baking, make an assortment requiring the same temperature: bread and scones for example.
Batch cook. There is some truly great stuff on YouTube here. Cooking in bulk is always more economical than in small portions and has the wonderful advantage of having a ‘ready meal’ available when you are tired.
Cool things
When it comes to economising on our grocery bills, our fridge and freezer are our greatest allies, allowing us to keep food fresh and safe for longer.
We can maximise this further by following a few simple rules: keeping our freezer full; defrosting items in the fridge and ensuring that meals are cool before putting in either.
Split peas ready to add to soup Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
The freezer is my most treasured appliance for allowing me to store excess fresh foods – like the cooking apples from the garden – and for enabling batch cooking.
Recently, I’ve started using more pulses – peas, beans and lentils – and unless you buy them tinned, they require some preparation. My solution? I buy as much as a kilo of dried organic ones from the health food store, soak the whole lot overnight, cook using the residual heat method, cool and store in portion sized amounts. There is minimal waste and I always have the base of a meal to hand. They don’t even need to defrost – just add them to the pot with liquid.
Super staples Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
If you have a local green grocer, they will often have seasonal produce at very low prices. With a tiny bit of cooking, almost all fruits and vegetables can be frozen. With my garden bursting with fruit at the moment, I am certainly filling the freezer to enjoy the bounty when winter comes. And if you don’t have your own produce, let others know you’d be happy to pick some for a share. Most of us are happy to give it away.
Keep it simple
The less your food is processed, the less it will cost. This may seem obvious, but too often we choose the ‘easy’ option rather than cooking ourselves. I know. I’ve done it often enough.
It is worth remembering that every stage a meal goes through that requires the input of another, adds to the price. It also adds to the environmental cost in packaging and transportation, with the worst offenders being take-away food.
The irony is that most of these easy meals are just that. They require simple, basic ingredients and not a great deal of skill, yet supermarket shelves are filled with bottled pasta sauce and pre-packaged macaroni and cheese. They even sell frozen precooked rice (!?)
As someone with very limited energy, I totally understand the desire to come home and simply open a can or put something in the microwave, but it is often a false economy of both time and money.
Tempting but costly Image: Photo by Krzysztof Hepner on Unsplash
Last night, as a little thought experiment, I wondered what it would cost to feed a family of four at McDonald’s. To buy the cheapest, smallest burger with fries and a Coke would set a family back £13.08 plus driving to the restaurant and waiting.
In contrast, using Asda’s essential brands, one could buy more than twice that: 8 burgers, 12 rolls, one lettuce, 6 tomatoes, a bag of French fries, and 1.5 litres of Coke for less than £10. And the time taken to prepare? Probably less than getting the kids in the car.
This is an extreme example, but the point is the same. Despite having a very complicated diet, I seldom spend as much as half and hour in the kitchen. By making twice what we need, usually, that time is effectively halved (excluding reheating). Food doesn’t get much faster than that.
Jeff’s second day chilli is even tastier than the first Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Love those left-overs
With domestic food waste at about 30% in this country, we really need to learn to love our left-overs. Food production is one of the greatest users of energy, so when we waste it, we waste not only good food we could eat but the Earth’s resources too.
Many foods like soups and stews taste better the next day. We need only refrigerate them. A few items, like cooked rice, are best to freeze rather than chill. If in doubt, check food safety advice.
Shop adventurously
My final tip is perhaps a little quirky, but I hope it will inspire a few of you. We often fall into the habit of shopping at just one supermarket and forget the plethora of choices elsewhere.
More recently, I’ve been trying to spread my options. Flour, I have sent direct from the mill; fruit and vegetables from my local grocer; healthy staples from the on-line wholefoods company and anything exotic from the wonderful shops in the more multi-cultural part of town.
Lemon hummus. Three and a half for the price of one! Two are now in the freezer. Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
When it comes to canny cooks, those from foreign climes excel. Rice is bought in sacks and staples in bulk. They are masters of preserving in oil, vinegar and brine. Since they usually cook from scratch, there is always an amazing array of flours, herbs and spices on offer too. Generally, prices are very competitive. The large glass jar of chickpeas that my husband bought in Waitrose for almost £4 was £1 in our specialist shop. Such shopping trips are always inspirational.
A request
I could witter on for some time on this topic and there is much more to say, but for now, I’m going to turn it over to you. If you have any money saving tips on food preparation, energy or shopping, please put it in the comments section below. This is the kind of news from which we can all benefit.
After years of learning the Swedish language; shopping at the ScandiKitchen and watching more Scandi-noir than is probably good for me, I finally got to Stockholm.
My obsession with Scandinavia started young (I blame my genes) and my son had an Erasmus term at Lund University. Yet, somehow, despite my family’s love of travel, we only managed to stay there for a mere 48 hours. Now was my chance to really explore a country that I admired.
Folk art Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Getting it right
My love of all things Scandi was not based solely on the landscape and art. It fundamentally rested on the idea that Sweden, Norway and Denmark had finally cracked the code on how to live right. They were more egalitarian than anywhere on Earth – something any woman would appreciate; they valued Nature and worked hard on green solutions; they lived simply and well, accepting that to support a caring society where no-one was left behind would cost them money – a lot of money. Paying 50% in taxes was viewed as a reasonable exchange for an excellent education system, brilliant infrastructure and healthcare.
A pristine and reliable Metro Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
And our trip to Stockholm bore this out. Everyone was prosperous, the Metro efficient, the boulevards wide and the roads for cars narrow. The only problem for pedestrians was to avoid being run over by electric scooters and bicycles.
Art for art’s sake
As a bonus, the Swedes also saw the value of art to uplift our spirits. I don’t think that I have ever visited a more uniformly beautiful city. Every building had been built with care and few rose beyond four storeys. The area where we were staying was a mix of well designed modern (in concentric circles) and glorious art nouveau with a hint of classical.
Every building had a sense of style, from the triangulated balconies of the modern builds to the embellishments of the older ones. No window, coal shuttle or door was left plain.
Living space
Unlike most cities, one never had the sense of being crowed. If anything, it was rather quieter than most suburban areas in the UK. I know that Stockholm had lost many residents to the countryside for the upcoming Midsummer celebrations, but we arrived well before that.
Where is everyone? A mile from the centre Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Like London, it was filled with parks – but not the awe-inspiring huge variety of Hyde or St James’, but small ones dotted around the residential areas. And at its edges was the water giving access to miles of forest fringed coastline.
It was a city designed for outdoor living, for appreciating one’s free time to picnic with friends or let the children run free. It was like no other city I’ve seen.
A private sculpture garden Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Who would not enjoy an evening looking at the fountain at the centre of this very planned development? We looked inside the lower floors to see a communal space with small kitchen for residents to enjoy. Genius.
Except …
Despite all these advantages and unprecedented affluence, the Swedes did not seem overly happy. There is an expression in Swedish, ”En känsla av vemod” or a feeling of melancholy or sadness, which seemed to be manifest in the faces I saw.
For a society that seems as close to a utopia as humanly possible, this was a strange contradiction. When we passed people in the street in our usual smiling, friendly way, we were often met with blank stares or worse, grimaces. My husband and I determined to crack this by smiling and saying hello to everyone. We had very limited success – except with the immigrants who all greeted us in an equally cheery fashion and often looking somewhat surprised that anyone had addressed them.
Smile … please! Image: Austin Wade on Unsplash
Needless to say, these immigrants were doing the jobs that no-one else felt inclined to do: kitchen work, cleaning and manning the Metro. They enjoyed the benefits of a very civilised society, but they were hardly of it. But despite the hardship of their present lives, I’m sure like migrants everywhere, they could see a brighter future for their children.
A puzzle
Perhaps one should not judge a people by their expressions and not smiling may simply be an indicator of taking life seriously or thoughtfulness or a more private approach. Perhaps not smiling is their way of showing that they are happy. Sweden ranks consistently in the top ten of the happiest countries in the world. (See this article for a scholarly approach to happiness: https://worldhappiness.report/ed/2020/the-nordic-exceptionalism-what-explains-why-the-nordic-countries-are-constantly-among-the-happiest-in-the-world/) There are numerous theories as to why Nordic countries are some of the happiest, but the one I most incline to is simply this: the Swedes have enough and are wise enough not to seek more than they need. In the interest of the communal good, they are willing to devote time, energy and income to the benefit of all rather than themselves individually. Life is lived in moderation and, where no-one is left feeling poor or neglected or vulnerable, trust and communal bonds can be fostered and reflected in governance.
Flowers for everyone to enjoy Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
There is so much that we can learn from such an approach. Shifting from an ego-centric to a community-centric view, we can start a quiet revolution towards greater social equality. Finding more balance in our lives will bring happiness to ourselves and others. Making connections is something that almost always brings joy and if we feel the urge, we can smile about it!
Apologies once again for abandoning my post (pun intended), but the little souvenir we returned home with from Sweden turned out to be Covid. We have enjoyed a smorgasbord of symptoms from fake sunburn to lost voice, fevers to exhaustion. I’ve spent the majority of the last three days asleep – but rest has worked its magic and, unless the virus has yet another surprise waiting for us, I’m cautiously optimistic that we are coming to the end of it.
Pretty deadly Image: Fusion Medical on Unsplash
As always, my MS has intensified my symptoms. Fortunately, my husband has managed to keep us fed and watered. Without him, I suspect I may have just shrivelled under the blankets, too tired to even fetch myself a drink.
I very much hope that you are all well and look forward to your company next week.
We’ve been having a heatwave in the South East for weeks now. Temperatures keep climbing and rain (with the exclusion of one dramatic thunder storm) refuses to fall. Such balmy days are a joy, but they also bring their own challenges. Love them or hate them, long hot summers are here to stay.
The roiling ball of flaming gas that is the sun Image: Nasa
As a power source, the sun is phenomenal. A good friend has just installed solar panels and I wish I could do the same, but I suspect my roof would disintegrate! (It is rather old.) I shall look into it further though, as free-standing ones are an option, and my garden is always filled with sunlight.
Sun baked
Even without solar panels, we can use the sun’s energy in place of the usual electric source. This week, I have been making sun tea – a most refreshing drink on a hot day. It is ludicrously simple. Find a large jam/Kilner jar and add tea to the strength you want. Fill with water and set outside in the sunshine. In a few hours, it will have infused. Add ice or water if too strong. Since the electric kettle is a greedy consumer of energy, this is a way to save it with minimum effort and expense.
Refreshing iced-tea for a summer’s day Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Delighted with my tea experiment, I decided to make fruit leather. I still have some apples left over from last year’s harvest and some delicious rhubarb in the freezer. (Thank you Liz and Peter!)
Fruit leather is simply pureed fruit, spread out on a tray and left to dry. However, it is painfully slow and I refuse to turn my oven on for 12 hours (even at a low temperature) to make it. Instead, I decided to try the old-fashioned option and leave it in the sun. Even in these very hot days, it did take a few to dry out completely and had to be left in the shed sometimes. (If flies are a problem, either cover your trays with a cloth ‘tent’ or keep in a well-lit place.)
But I’m delighted to say that it made the best fruit leather ever. You can easily find instructions on how to make it on YouTube, but essentially you only need to cook and puree the fruit of your choice – here apple and rhubarb – then spread in a .5 cm thick layer on grease-proof paper. Leave in the sun. The leather is ready when it lifts easily from the paper. If you find any wet patches, leave to dry further. Cut into narrow strips and roll up. Remember that even a tiny fruit roll contains a huge amount of fruit.
Of course, the other thing to air dry is your clothes. I was horrified to discover that washing lines are prohibited in certain communities in America. This is insanity. Tumble driers, like kettles, devour electricity. Air your clean laundry in public! The Earth will thank you.
Flower power
Biology lessons at school taught us the marvel that is photosynthesis: the ability of plants to transform sunlight into energy. The results are stunning. At this time of year, my garden is overflowing with blooms (and weeds) but they require a great deal of watering.
Flowers, flowers everywhere, but not a drop to drink Image: Karen Costello-McFeat
Sunshine is lovely, but drought is not and I was a little concerned by the number of gardeners recommending drought resistant species to endure our longer, hotter summers. If we want to keep our British gardens blooming, we should consider how to minimise our fossil energy use.
The dark side of the sun
The sun can give all sorts of benefits from helping our bodies make vitamin D to improving mood by stimulating serotonin. Without care, however, it can do much damage too.
After a rather hot day in the sun, I noticed a rather angry red patch on my skin. It had always been a little odd and I had thought nothing of it, but now it was begging for attention.
Dutifully, I toddled off to see the doctor. Yes, it was a melanoma and yes, it would need to be frozen off (yuk) but hopefully it was benign.
With the sun’s ultra-violet rays increasing in intensity dramatically over the last thirty years, the days of sunbathing without sunscreen or as my sisters did, slathered in baby oil, are over. I confess to having been a little blase about applying sunscreen, but now I do that or cover up. Skin cancer is not on my agenda.
Sun and MS
I adore being out in the warm sun and I adore gardening. Sadly though, my MS does not. After an hour of very gentle weeding and deadheading the roses, I was completely washed out. I was even a little concerned that I’d make it back up the garden to the cool of the house and the sofa to lie down.
Fortunately, I made it and collapsed exhausted. It is a very strange state that is not sleep but is not consciousness either. One simply ‘shuts down’ in the same way a mobile phone will if left in the sun for too long. And like the phone, it will return to functioning at its own pace. Such things cannot be rushed.
At late afternoon, I had wrongly thought I would be safe, but the heat persists well into the evening now. I may have to start gardening just before bedtime.
Such irritations aside, these glorious summer days bring me immense pleasure and the opportunity to eat my meals outside and entertain Hermione whilst gardening or reading. The living is easy and delightful.
So while I enjoy the Mediterranean life-style this new normal brings, I am acutely aware that the sun is not always my friend. Like all power, solar power needs to be treated with caution and respect.
Next week there will be no post, as we are off to Sweden for a short holiday. I hope to return with news of all our adventures. Glad Midsommar to you all!
