Books – When Life Gives You Lemons

Dolphins, Waterfalls and Other Magical Things -Part 2

Leaving the mythical grandeur of Scotland for the traffic clogged roads of England was pretty demoralising. What kept me cheery was the prospect of meeting up with old university friends in East Anglia.

Gone were the days of tuna bake and cheap booze in our shared house. These were replaced with Liz’s ornate Swedish celebration cake and blood orange G&Ts in their gorgeous home. What had not changed was the pleasure we took in each other’s company.

**Perfect hosts: Liz and Peter Holland**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Though we had left Scotland, it is fair to say that it has not left me. My thoughts continually drift back to those magical days and this post is an opportunity to visit once again.

Last week, I focussed on the beauty of nature in the far north and this week I’d like to turn to more human concerns. For despite the small and often scattered populations of the Highlands, it is replete with cultural interest.

Walking with the ancients

No trip to the Highlands is complete for me without a little visit to the Clava Cairns. We were startled to find that a few other people had discovered them too, but while they disembarked their mini-buses and rushed around the site, we waited to hear the whispers of our ancestors.

**Clava Cairns in its Victorian ‘druidic’ grove.** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

The mysterious Picts

The Pictish peoples are said to have disappeared from Scotland, though our DNA would probably tell us otherwise. Though their culture has been largely lost, it is believed that they merely assimilated with their Gaelic and Scots contemporaries. Since the Picts had no written language, it is hard to establish exactly what life was like, but we do have some wonderful archaeological evidence to go by.

They left magnificent carved standing stones and they left the outlines of their villages. In Burghead, we came across a Pictish settlement as shown below, left. The location was ideal for repelling Viking and other invaders and the proximity to the sea ensured a stable food supply. Though the Romans viewed the Picts as barbarians, it seems that, inter-tribe fighting aside, they were a very civilised people, growing crops and maintaining quite complex communities. It takes a little imagination to turn photo one to the imagined settlement below, but it is not impossible.

**The stunning location of the Pictish settlement with deep earthworks for protection.**
Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

**An imagined view of Burghead settlement in Pictish times.**

Kinloss Abbey

On our return from Burghead, we came across another beautiful, Romantic ruin. Following the signs, we set off to explore. It transpired that these now tumble-down walls were once part of one of the largest, and most prosperous abbeys in Scotland. The site is huge. Low walls indicate where buildings once stood and a whole section waits to be made safe for viewing.

Though the abbey is ancient (12th century), the place has not stood still in time. Over the centuries, it has continued to be a burial ground. Large, ornate mausoleums press close to the abbey walls, in the hope, perhaps, that their wealthy residents could jump the queue at the resurrection. More poignantly, it is a military graveyard containing a number of much plainer, humbler Commonwealth graves.

**Kinloss Abbey** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Castle Rait and a ghost story

Castle lovers could hardly wish for more treasures to explore than in Scotland. Inverness Shire, where we were staying had 69. Venture into the neighbouring county and there are a further 260. Even my husband would not run out! Indeed, castles are so plentiful that even some of the best preserved haven’t warranted a brown sign. Rait Castle is one such. It is found at the end of a farmer’s track, but is truly a fascinating ruin.

This 13th century castle, like most castles, has a horrible history. According to legend, this ruin is haunted by the handless ghost of a young maiden. The story behind it is part Romeo and Juliet and part clannish betrayal.

Here is a very short account:

There was a young woman, daughter of Laird Cumming, who loved and was loved by the son of a rival clan – the Mackintoshes. Her father hated his enemies and planned to destroy them at a feast.

Learning of his devilish plan, the young woman set off to warn her beloved.

The night of the feast arrived and the Mackintoshes feigned good humour and ignorance of the plot. Yet, when the signal was given to the Cummings to attack, the Mackintoshes pulled their dirks (long bladed daggers) from the folds of their clothes and slaughtered the Cummings.

Realising that he had been betrayed by his daughter, Cummings followed her up to the first story tower room (see above centre) and as she attempted to jump from the window, chopped off her hands.

Whether this story is true of not, I would certainly not wish to linger in the environs after dark.

Bookish times

Despite the above, all was not murder and mayhem in Scotland. It is a country renowned for its excellent educational system and with providing the world with a disproportionate number of great thinkers.

That tradition still holds and I was delighted to find that both Grantown on Spey and Nairn had excellent independent book shops. Nairn even has a book and arts festival at the end of August each year. Not bad for a town with a population of 12,000!

On our visit to Grantown’s bookshop, we discovered that the owner had organised a book event at a local venue. The speakers, Merryn Glover and Linda Cracknell were speaking about their new books: one retracing the steps of Nan Shepherd and the other writing about nature. How could we resist?

**Perfect books for a Highland adventure** Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

It was a wonderful evening, though Hermione could not quite contain herself sufficiently to last the whole talk!

At the same bookshop, we’d found a new favourite author, S J MacLean and now we had two more to add to our shelves. Indeed, we came home laden with books – some old and some new. The clement weather had left no time for reading!

Highland hospitality

And lastly, our stay would not have been nearly so good if we hadn’t been spoiled by the kindness of everyone who helped us. The lovely hotel below, could not have been more welcoming: including providing Hermione with her own bacon each breakfast.

**The Westerlea Hotel** Image: from hotel website

We enjoyed fabulous meals and chats everywhere we went. We may have been strangers, but we were treated like old friends.

From hardship to happiness

Times have more often than not been exceptionally hard in these remote regions. Fishing was the main source of income for those on the coast and it was both desperately exhausting for the women sorting, preparing and selling the catch and dangerous for the men in unpredictable waters.

But now, all that remains of these times is the beautiful statue of a fishwife overlooking a small marina – a symbol that could not be beaten to illustrate the new prosperity.

But the honesty and kindness of the region has not been lost over time. The wee cake shop provides delicious treats and drinks and works on the honesty system. The exquisite peacock that resides in Cawdor had been abandoned by its owners and adopted by the town. His magnificent feathers attest to his good care.

A final touch of magic

I promised you magic in my title and I have one last charm. Though Nessie did not reward us with a sighting at Loch Ness, we did have a little magical incident on our way home from the book talk. I was telling my husband a strange story that I had read in Country Living about MacFarlane’s The Lost Spells. in it, his illustrator had been repeating the owl ‘spell’ poem, in the hope of conjuring one to see. It didn’t work and she was a little disappointed. However, the next day her son phoned to say how, surreally, an owl had turned up on his doorstep. What a gorgeous tale, I told my husband. Five minutes later, his headlights swept the wooded landscape and what should I see sitting regally on a fence post but the ghostly white breast of a barn owl. Coincidence? Perhaps. But I prefer to think of it as Highland magic.

And So to Bed…

As every parent of young children knows, sleep is the most precious of commodities. Were it to be floated on the exchange, its price would exceed all others. The subject is at the forefront of my mind at the moment. Skyping my brother-in-law and daughter-in-law this weekend (both of whom have tiny tots) highlighted the toll that sleepless nights bring. Indeed, considering the levels of sleep deprivation they go through, I am impressed that they are functioning at all, let alone successful professionals.

Sleep has so many necessary functions: from giving your body the opportunity to rest and repair to ensuring good mental health. Yet, too many of us suffer from poor sleep – as many as two-thirds of the population in the UK.

Sleep is crucial to our wellbeing, so if you don’t sleep properly, here are some ideas to improve your nights.

**Sleep, glorious sleep!** Image: Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash

Early to bed, early to rise

Actually, it is not essential to go to bed early to get a good night’s rest. If you are a night owl, who will simply fidget till midnight, going to bed when you are tired is more sensible. That said, almost all experts agree that earlier is better. Though what is really crucial is establishing a regular routine. Why? Because, ‘keeping a regular sleep schedule—even on weekends—maintains the timing of the body’s internal clock and can help you fall asleep and wake up more easily.’ (Harvard Medical School)

The hardest part of this for me is disciplining myself to get up on the weekend when a lie-in seems so appealing. In another article I read, it suggested adding no more than one hour to your normal wake-up time on days off. Our bodies, sadly, do not know the days of the week and if we extend our sleeping one day and not the next, we are simply deregulating the very clock we depend on for contented slumbers.

Making the bedroom a sanctuary

Perhaps the hardest thing for people during lock-down has been the invasion of work into the home and even the bedroom. If there is no other option than to work from there, where possible keep all your work and equipment in a contained space and ideally out of sight at night. This way you can avoid the siren call of answering just one more email.

Bedrooms are where we go to escape the cares of the day. If we fill them with distractions, they are unlikely to prove restful. Ideally, a bedroom should be clutter free and certainly free from electronic devices such as televisions and laptops. And phones. Definitely phones.

**Simple and restful** Image: Photo by Beazy on Unsplash

There are a number of reasons why looking at your phone at night is problematic: the blue light inhibits melatonin production and damages the eyes; stimulates you just at the time you need to wind down; causes non-restorative sleep that means you wake feeling tired and can have serious implications for your physical and mental health. For a complete discussion of this topic, please read: https://www.nestandglow.com/life/phone-bedroom

Experts recommend looking at your phone no earlier than 30-60 minutes before bed and keeping it in another room from the one where you sleep. I confess that I do take my phone to bed as an alarm and though I seldom consult it for more than a few minutes, having considered the above, I’ve just ordered an alarm clock!

Keeping your bedroom tidy; making your bed in the morning with lovely linens; decorating in calming colours and adding the odd plant to improve air quality should make your room the sanctuary that it is meant to be.

Book at bedtime

There are few things more delightful than dozing off after reading a book. Better still, have someone to read aloud to you. A story at night (though perhaps not a good thriller) is a great way to bridge the world of reality and the world of dreams.

**Everything you need at the bedside** Image: Annie Spratt on Unsplash

All books are not equal, however. E-books in general carry the same problems as phones and televisions. A study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences showed that subjects reading from e-readers suffered from a reduction of melatonin and poor quality of sleep. Though it is convenient to use one of these devices when your sleeping partner is dozing off, it may be better to invest in a paperback and a book light.

Interrupted sleep

Far too many people suffer from interrupted sleep or insomnia and few of us will be spared from the odd bout of either. Life is full of stresses and disagreeable surprises, which almost always impact our sleep. Unpleasant though it is at the time, most of us will recover. Others, however, end up on a spiral of inadequate sleep that becomes part of their everyday lives. Knowing how damaging this is, we would be wise to find ways to avoid it happening to us.

**That dreaded time when you are wide awake at night** Image: Alexandra Gorn

Some of the ways to improve sleep are fairly straight-forward, though not necessarily easy to implement if they are part of your habits.

Avoid stimulants – anything containing caffeine, alcohol and even exercise work as stimulants. Where possible, keep them for earlier in the day.
Keep your cool – most of us sleep better in a room that is a little cooler. Turn the heating down or off before you go to bed.
Reduce the amount you drink, or stop drinking altogether in the hours before bedtime. No-one like to get up in the night to go to the toilet! Contrariwise, if you have a cast-iron bladder and want to get up early, drink a glass or two of water before bedtime. Your bladder will serve as an excellent alarm!
Keep active – the more tired you are, the better you are likely to sleep. If you wish to exercise before bed, stick to something calm like stretching and yoga.
Get outside – Increasing your exposure to natural light will help you sleep better at night.
Stress and anxiety are probably the greatest enemies of a good night’s rest. Strategies such as meditation, yoga, talking therapies and cold immersion can all help here.

Non-restorative sleep

Unfortunately, despite trying all of the above, the blissful benefits of restorative sleep may not be available to you. Those with neurological conditions often suffer from poor sleep as a result of pain and symptoms that occur at night. My new magic medicine has helped with these, but still I wake feeling that I have barely gone to bed. It is possible, even likely, that neurological damage is causing this. As a result, scheduling activities with gaps between and regular rest periods are still required.

And if your sleep is interrupted for another reason, be gentle on yourself. Sometimes life hands us more than we are able to cope with.

As always, I’m optimistic and before I go to bed each night, I recite my little mantra: I will rest well. I will sleep deeply. I will awaken refreshed. Haven’t quite managed it yet, but I’ll keep trying.

If you have…

Wise words. Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Cicero – famed orator, lawyer and politician was certainly wise. So, it is interesting that his most well-known quote is that above. Like most wisdom, it is not shaken by the passing of millennia. Indeed, his words are especially pertinent now that we live in urban environments where green spaces and white pages are being replaced by concrete and screens.

This quote lives on because it encapsulates all that is important for our well-being. Books and gardens are the ultimate holistic therapy, nourishing as they do our minds, our bodies and our spirits; bringing us balance and harmony.

What have the Romans ever done for us?

The Romans were mad about libraries and no self-respecting household would have been without one. These libraries were usually modest affairs made up of little more than an alcove or cupboard containing books. The library would be divided into two sections: one for Latin and the other for Greek texts.

It would be impossible to estimate the value of Latin learning upon modern civilisation. It is said that Petrach’s discovery of Cicero’s letters alone initiated the Italian (and then our own) Renaissance. Roman learning and oratory underpin the very foundations of our legal system, language and literature.

The value of books

Old books Image: Chris Lawton on Unsplash

Only the elite in Rome would have had a library. Books were prohibitively expensive, since prior to Gutenberg’s printing press, they were written by hand.

We, in contrast, have unlimited access to books. We can borrow them from public libraries, buy inexpensive ones from charity shops and modestly priced ones from our local book shop. Books are everywhere and the choices, when we add in the internet, are limitless.

Why read?

This is a question that I often ask my students and depressingly discover that it is something for which they seldom have much of an answer. Schools rarely ‘sell’ the idea of books and this is a real shame. They are seen as means of improving spelling and perhaps sources of information or entertainment, but not much else.

Books, of course, do much more than improve our language skills. Their most important function is to give the brain a good mental workout. Our minds need to be exercised as much as our bodies and the benefits are huge. Reading has been shown to: improve communication skills; reduce brain deterioration in old age; reduce stress (by up to 68%); increase creativity; improve inter-personal skills and empathy; increase our vocabularies and induce better sleep. Ideally, we should read books in their paper format for the best results.

The benefits to the workings of the mind are well documented, but I would also like to include the benefits that they can offer to our souls. Whatever our spiritual inclinations, there are books that can help and teach us. Reading is a slow process and so we have time to contemplate what is written at our leisure. I often read a few pages or a chapter, put the book down and think. I regularly reread books that I find particularly helpful to glean every last ounce of wisdom from them. (I’m on the third reading of Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth).

Good literature too can have insights we might find valuable to our lives. A great deal of wisdom can be found in poetry, plays and fiction. Through reading we are opening ourselves up to other ways of seeing the world. We may not adopt them, but we at least have a better understanding.

Of course, one of the best places to read is the garden and when the weather is inclement, I retire to my ‘story shed’. Reading outside enables us to combine life’s two essentials.

The perfect combination! Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

Gardens are especially wonderful because they provide an opportunity to improve our physical, mental and spiritual health.

The green workout

Those of you who garden are well aware that it is strenuous. Gardening is one of the best ways to exercise, burning a whopping 330 calories an hour. Yet, unlike many forms of exercise, it doesn’t really feel like work. Minutes and hours pass by in a sort of trance and as we stand to stretch out backs, we are often shocked by the amount of time that has passed.

My current situation means that I can only garden for very limited stretches of time (if I do not wish to end up face down in the dirt) but by careful management, I can do several short bursts. It may not make me fit, as such, but it keeps me mobile and I’ll take that.

Even if we don’t do much physical work, we can still benefit. We gain vitamin D from sunlight and B vitamins from the soil. A good play in the dirt is a great way to release all those micro-organisms that aid our gut and therefore our digestion. If we grow our own vegetables and herbs, we will eat more healthily too.

Garden therapy

Garden or horticultural therapy is nothing new, though it sadly fell out of favour for a while when modern medicines became the main ‘cure’ for mental disorders.

Fortunately, the benefits of the garden on the mind are being ‘rediscovered’ with brilliant work being done for all sorts of groups – from Alzheimers’ patients, to soldiers suffering from PTSD to young people with extreme anxiety and depression.

All of us will suffer from anxiety or low mood at some point in our lives. We all have to deal with grief, disappointment and anxiety. And the best therapy is, literally, on our doorstep.

If you are interested in how this works in detail, I cannot recommend highly enough Sue Stuart-Smith’s book The Well Gardened Mind. But for those who want a quick overview, numerous studies have proven that gardens bring numerous benefits, including: reducing stress and anxiety; promoting relaxation; cultivating a spirit of acceptance (since we can tend our garden but not control it); empathy through the nurturing of plants and lastly in bringing us hope. The winter may be severe – but we know that spring will follow.

The beauty of flowers

We should never underestimate the role of beauty in our lives – not the airbrushed variety in magazines, but the real beauty of nature.

I work at my garden all the time and with love. What I need most are flowers, always.
Claude Monet

And of all the plants in the garden, flowers are the showstoppers. Modern brain imaging techniques can illustrate how beauty literally fires up the pleasure centres in our brains causing us to release dopamine and serotonin – happy hormones – at the same time as our own opiods. ‘Hence, beauty calms and revitalises us at the same time.’ (Sue Stuart-Smith)

Flowers also play a role in our spiritual life. They are often used in religious teaching (Buddha’s flower sermon/ Jesus’ ‘Consider the lilies’) because they are such perfect emblems of a divine order. And there are few religious festivals which do not have flowers at their very heart.

Contemplation of the perfect symmetry of a flower, is an excellent mindfulness technique and one I have used often when feeling a little fraught. Some flowers bring the additional benefit of fragrance and some, like the rose and lavender have well-known calming qualities.

So next time you see a flower – stop and smell it. I guarantee it will improve your day.

Garden roses – the scent of summer Image: Karen Costello-McFeat

I appreciate that not everyone will have access to a large garden, but the benefits I have written about hold true even if you only have a window box or a few flowers on the window sill or blooms in a vase. Books, as I have already said, are freely available. And if you have both? You have everything you need.